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Friendship+Imaan problems

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  • Friendship+Imaan problems

    ,:salams

    I am a 15 year old school girl and I've been having some problems with my friends. This post might be quite long but please read through :(

    My life has been quite complex, I've moved schools often and made many many friends. However, I have never found better friends than I have at this school which I am currently at. My best friends are all Muslim, and Alhamdullilah we are really close and have had some amazing times together.
    Yet sometimes I feel isolated because in many ways my friends are quite different to me. Though they are Muslim, they all swear and are very foul-mouthed, are obsessed over boys, talk and make jokes about some disgusting things and wish they could do things like drugs, though they never would. (Am I sinning right now because I'm telling you their faults??) I have told them repeatedly how much I hate all the swearing etc and how bad it is, yet they don't really try to stop.

    Now my closest friend has become closer to someone else and I feel as though they prefer each other over me because I am too 'serious'. For instance,once they were laughing about something disgusting and immature and they said 'oh don't let (my name) hear you' which really annoyed me. They also both wanna do stuff like shisha and even weed sometimes feel as though if I participated in this swearing etc then maybe things would be different.

    What do I do? :( I don't want to find 'other friends' because these girls are, lets say, the best there is in this school. But now I just feel as though my imaan has also gone down. I am not a perfect Muslim, but I really do try. Now,I find it more difficult to concentrate in prayer and pray on time and I hate it so much. I wish I had a Muslim friend who also was against this kind of stuff and who could encourage me towards Islam. I'm not saying my friends are purposefully leaving me out or taking me away from Islam, they just make me feel like I'm not as included because they think I might judge them because to them I seem like a 'better Muslim' (though I'm probably not)
    I just want some advice on this issue..anything would be appreciated.

    Before anyone asks, I have talked to my mum about this many times and I don't want to upset her anymore by being upset myself. I haven't told her in this much detail because I don't want her judging my friends, because they are amazing people but just...very influenced by Western culture

    Thank you so much for reading all this if you've got this far :love: I hope Allah rewards you:)

    (p.s) Is swearing haram? What is the punishment for it? What about making dirty jokes?

  • #2
    Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

    If you cant be yourself around your friends, then they are not your friends

    Try and find better friends or influence these ones to do good
    My ♥ only lets الله‎ in

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

      Originally posted by Fairy View Post
      If you cant be yourself around your friends, then they are not your friends

      Try and find better friends or influence these ones to do good
      I'm always myself around them, and I do try to influence them...my closest friend said that she has changed (for the better) since meeting me. But she's becoming close to another friend who is not a very good influence :( How can I influence them more? I haven't changed myself at all, and I definitely will not to impress them.
      How can I also increase my imaan so wordly problems like this aren't as big?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

        Originally posted by AnotherMuslimah View Post
        I'm always myself around them, and I do try to influence them...my closest friend said that she has changed (for the better) since meeting me. But she's becoming close to another friend who is not a very good influence :( How can I influence them more? I haven't changed myself at all, and I definitely will not to impress them.
        How can I also increase my imaan so wordly problems like this aren't as big?
        Thing is I remember being a teen, and even though you can give them the good islamic quote here n there. you have some girls who are just so desperate for male attention, while others arent.

        With me is that I was never a follower/sheep. I always knew right from wrong. but I guess I was strong as a teen. Are you strong enough to be around them n not fall into their trap n start acting like them

        Best thing would be to hang around with girls who are like minded
        My ♥ only lets الله‎ in

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

          Originally posted by Fairy View Post
          Thing is I remember being a teen, and even though you can give them the good islamic quote here n there. you have some girls who are just so desperate for male attention, while others arent.

          With me is that I was never a follower/sheep. I always knew right from wrong. but I guess I was strong as a teen. Are you strong enough to be around them n not fall into their trap n start acting like them

          Best thing would be to hang around with girls who are like minded
          Yeah, some girls are so desperate :( Its been over a year since I became friends with them, and they're the ones who have changed not me. I feel like I'm pretty strong. I've told them my opinions on their actions so if I change it'll be very hypocritical. I don't want to change who I am and they've never tried to make me change, its not really like that...I just feel isolated.

          The thing is there aren't any girls my age who are like minded in this aspect, who live near me anyway, which is really sad :(

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

            Originally posted by AnotherMuslimah View Post
            Yeah, some girls are so desperate :( Its been over a year since I became friends with them, and they're the ones who have changed not me. I feel like I'm pretty strong. I've told them my opinions on their actions so if I change it'll be very hypocritical. I don't want to change who I am and they've never tried to make me change, its not really like that...I just feel isolated.

            The thing is there aren't any girls my age who are like minded in this aspect, who live near me anyway, which is really sad :(
            Oh sorry to hear that



            15 years old isnt the end of ur life, When I started high school, I had a huge bunch of friends, then slowly as the years progressed, the numbers dropped n now im my 20's I only am close to a few of them.

            You have one more year of school right?

            go to college at 16 to do your alevels instead of 6th form, itll give u a chance to find new people to be around

            its not the be all n end all

            stay strong kid!!
            My ♥ only lets الله‎ in

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

              Originally posted by Fairy View Post
              Oh sorry to hear that



              15 years old isnt the end of ur life, When I started high school, I had a huge bunch of friends, then slowly as the years progressed, the numbers dropped n now im my 20's I only am close to a few of them.

              You have one more year of school right?

              go to college at 16 to do your alevels instead of 6th form, itll give u a chance to find new people to be around

              its not the be all n end all

              stay strong kid!!
              Thank you!! :inlove: Yeah unfortunately my parents really want me to go to this school's sixth form, but new girls will come in and to be honest I can survive the next few years :D My friends aren't bad its just on some days it can be very frustrating
              Does anyone have any tips on increasing my imaan? I find it difficult to concentrate in prayer:(

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

                http://www.al-islam.org/concentratio...trating-prayer

                ^ click on that

                ignore the incense burning lol, but after that they give u the diff advice
                My ♥ only lets الله‎ in

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

                  Find new friends.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Friendship+Imaan problems

                    Originally posted by Fairy View Post
                    http://www.al-islam.org/concentratio...trating-prayer

                    ^ click on that

                    ignore the incense burning lol, but after that they give u the diff advice
                    Thank you so much!

                    Comment

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