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May ALLAH help us all

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  • May ALLAH help us all

    Dear brothers and sister,first of all I would like to say alsalamo 3alekom

    I have come here to today to tell you the story of my life and how I need allahs help now more than ever.I am also looking for help from you and I would appreciate any advice from all of you.

    I am only 19 and I'm going through what I would like to call a crises.I grew up in a fairly normal family I have 2 older brothers and 2 younger sisters,we have had a great lose last year and we all felt the pain of losing a mother.

    My mom who passed away almost 2 years ago was everything to me and I mean everything and she solved all my issues and problems.once my mom past away from cancer allah yer7amha I felt like I have lost everything my life went into a downwards spiral I started suffering panic attacks,depression and was traumatized for a long while,till this day I get panic attacks and am always depressed.

    I haven't been the best of muslims I used to drink alcohol which I regret very much . However in the society I'm connected to everyone drinks and with stupid decisions I started to drink and hang out with the wrong type of people.but when my mom passed away I realized that she always told me to pray and stay away from 7aram for a long time for a reason. So I gave up the past life stopped drinking and changed my friends,I also started to pray my 5 prayers missing some however.

    I have not been a smart person academic wise,I hate anything to do with studies and university however my dad thinks otherwise and won't support me financially or mental now that I dropped out. There have been a few times we argued and fought and once he sent me back to jordan for 8 months with no financial help whatsoever this was after my mom passed I had no money to even go see a doctor so I had no choice but to ask help from my aunts so they gave me some help I got medicine and things were going fine for a while.but after being on antidepressants for a while I just became depressed even more so I decided to pray, so I did for a while and it actually helped me a lot al7amdullah I started praying more and more and not missing prayers and encouraging others to pray.

    Later on I talked with my dad and he decided to give me a chance , so I went back and decided to study in university,I passed my first semester with good grades but then lost interest and failed my second semester.this is how I found out studying wasn't for me.

    So my brothers and sisters now I have no idead what to do I pray and pray and try not lose hope but I am not getting any financial help from my dad at all so I'm stuck at home,I also look for part time jobs but no luck whatsoever and now I'm stuck depressed and feel like there is no hope,things are just getting worse and worse soon after my mom passed away my dad got married and they already have a child. I have learned to accept my mom is in a better place and life goes one and we all must die some day.

    Now I have no idea what to do I tried talking to my dad he won't listen I looked up and down for answers but I find myself back to where I was
    So please brothers and sisters pray for me and my mother and pray that I god shows me the right pay to live and guides me to heaven thank you all and sorry for taking your time :)

    And may ALLAH cure all sickness and all sick people everywhere in the world

    Thank you .