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My Journey To Islam

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  • My Journey To Islam

    I have made this blog site where the story will be held for future reference please goto the url and also the full story is there. So go there and read it :D
    P.S It will be updated in a few days sooo ;)

    I have been asked so many times that I felt it was better to just make a thread out of it and in'sha Allah I won't need to paraphrase this anymore ;)

    I'm going to start with one or two minor signs that Allah(SWT) wasn't pleased with me being a catholic (Christian) and then I'll take a big leap to the last year or so (In'sha Allah)

    In my younger years I went to a Catholic primary school, later to move to another school which was about 3-5 feet closer to home (Literally)
    In this school we would visit the Church which was just round the back, I believe once or twice a week.
    I never really liked it, it was great that we got to leave the class room but it always had an odd feeling.
    The priest was a wonderful man, well... until he left and then one kid asked where he was enough times that someone slipped up and told us that the priest had been a paedophile. (Fantastic right? Holy man? )
    So after this we got another priest who was again, a wonderful man (Don't worry no more pedos) and a great friend of the family. I started going to Sunday school and all of the fun stuff, got to carry the bread out and it was an achievement but at the same time I still felt odd.
    One time we went to Church and I asked about this specific candle - Something like "Why is it 'on', it's already light in here?", a helper said that this is a special candle that burns "forever" (Awesome candle - Wish I had some)... I wasn't satisfied... I asked the Priest; his response was something or other to do with the bible and that they replace it once or twice a year. Now that added a little concern, I mean his mystical helper just said it burns forever and now this guy is telling me that it's replaced once or twice a year. What's going on?

    Watching children being baptised was another thing- It just made them whale, what's that? I thought this water was blessed by ... the old man (aka Priest)? How can it be blessed if it's harming these children..

    I'm going to speed this up a little but a few more things that were creepy about the Church;
    -Jesus standing with blood coming from him in the front garden (of the Church), then he is there on a cross (Damn - Feels like I'm in a horror movie)
    -Eating this weird bread and drinking this weird drink. I remember being told that it's Jesus' flesh (What the hell?!? I don't want to eat that! Wait... did you say his blood?!? How are you drinking that?!?) Of course I know it's not literally but the idea of that was so creepy..bleeding manof either :o )

    I remember not long after 9/11, everyone calling the Muslims "terrorists!" "****!" and whatever charming names they could think of, but the point was THEY (Well.. Us Alhamdulilah :) ) were (are) the enemy and you must fear them! So everyone was scared, a darker skinned man? Damn he must be a...TERRORIST!...Then the story about the supposed terrorist wearing a burka and a bomb... Damn! Now those ladies... You got that right!...They're TERRORISTS too! And guess who they're coming for?!? YOU! Well we're all scared of this supposed threat..
    Then the 'tools' (Also known as Troops) invaded Afghanistan and the BBC had a journalist over there and I remember seeing on the TV, the soldiers raiding people's houses.. (This is where it starts Allahu Akbar)
    The video showed me this (With subtitles):
    The soldiers with their big guns and mass (A lot of them) kicking doors in, dragging people out and then... Women crying with their hands raised saying "Allahu Akbar!", the video subtitled "God is the greatest!".
    And again and again the same thing - Repeat the story line 4-5 times and that's all I saw.
    Now those ladies, I mean our sisters.. Crying shouting "Allahu Akbar", they weren't a threat. Look at them, they're crying how can she be a threat to those soldiers when they (The soldiers) have the weapons
    Those words ("Allahu Akbar") had been taught to us that: If you hear them, it's already over (A bomb is going to explode).
    But now I can see our sisters crying chanting those words and all they mean is "God is the greatest!

    I held those memories for a while then when I was around 12-13 I was playing on the grass down the road from my house and it was a beautiful day (Alhamdulilah) and I shouted (Without any reason or influence) "Allahu Akbar!" and raised a hand, a finger, a fist, I don't know I just remember my right arm was in the sky. Then after that all I remember was a beautiful feeling.
    Everyone watched me do it, but not a single person confronted me. (Lool oh how that changes later on :roleyes:)

    Then secondary school I was without a religion but I never denied God, actually it's funny. A good few times I had stood, laid, leaned (on a wall) and made dua (Obviously I didn't know the word 'dua' or anything - Just the act which I did)

    While I was in college I befriended some strong atheists, followed a few atheists on YouTube and what not.. They never convinced me, it just made me think a little more than I had done before.

    I befriended a sister who wasn't practising, we grew an incredible friendship and we spent a lot of time together.
    She never mentioned Islam, she mentioned "a religion" but never which religion.
    The first dawah I ever received was about pork (lol)
    As time went on she slowly told me things (Without the intention of converting me it was just how she had kept the morals & character of Islam - Which was certainly the biggest factor to me reverting)
    She didn't ever just say something like "Don't drink alcohol it's bad for you!" She always came with a detailed argument which wasn't refutable (Lol I tried once or twice)
    Every time she said "Xyz is bad and then explained it" I would instantly drop it off from my acceptable list. Not because of her or wanting to impress her, she didn't even know that I had been dropping the things...

    Then Ramadan... Fast approaching (In'sha Allah)
    What happened was the few months before Ramadan she started linking me to lectures and we'd spend a lot of time listening to them together...
    I loved this Islam what I'm hearing about, it's nothing like what I had always been told!

    A scholar refuted Christianity so many times. Just confirmed what I already knew and then showed where Islam stands on such situations... Islam of course being right again and again.. (Allahu Akbar)

    My friend starts explaining that in Ramadan we (Muslims) fast for 30 days! I was so shocked, how could they do that for so long?!? I would die without food for that long! :O haha
    She again explains WHY and health benefits and suggested that I could try it for a few days and to tell her if I enjoyed it. I refused (due to fear)

    It came to the night before Ramadan... I went to sleep feeling like something was about to happen I didn't know what but I just felt different.

    The next morning I woke up before sunrise (Maasha Allah) and I remembered her explaining that Muslims pray 5 times a day at specific times. So I went looking and saw these weird words "Fajr"? I didn't even know how to say it except "Fudge - ahh"
    Then I came across this prayer time application (For my iPhone), downloaded it and it used GPS to get my location, loaded the prayer times and Fajr was in a short while. I was like hmm what do we do now?
    I went on youtube and searched for fudge-ahh (I wrote "Fajr" not "fudge-ahh" ), I found this video
    and well the application played the adhan (For Fajr) I saw on my phone a notification saying that it's Fajr time.
    So I opened that video, threw an unused curtain on the floor and imitated the video while repeating the words as he said them.

    Again, the Dhuhr notification. Looked for a video on "Dhuhr" (Derr-huh-re lol however I made my own words ), imitated the video.. Asr..Maghrib..Isha.

    I forgot to mention that I fasted too and I found it quite easy and I felt different (In a good way)...

    I can't remember whether it was Asr the first day (Of Ramadan) or the third but I messaged the sister with a link to the video and said "This is how you pray, right?" She confirmed and then she was like "Wait..." haha and we went on from there. :')

    Sorry for cutting this short but that was my start in to Islam, maybe I'll update this thread another time with a few erm... trials I had faced after reverting.

    Part 2
    I'll start of with this as it's going to get mixed in if I put it anywhere else... (I missed this out last night because I felt it was worth saving for tomorrow when I can write it accurately and not half asleep)

    After reverting, the night I went to sleep something happened....

    The Dream
    Due in my sleep I had a dream well nightmare would probably be more appropriate.
    The dream was like this:
    It was pitch black and I was running, but it was weird I felt like I was sidewards (horizontal). I was running as fast as I could, I knew I was running from something but I had no idea what so I just kept running (Not daring to look behind me).
    Then a voice (A scary one - It sounded like it was so close that it was inside of me but yet I knew it was behind me) said something, I don't remember what exactly but it knew my name..
    I carried on running and then it grabbed me and wanted me to deny Islam. I refused and said something like"Allahu Akbar" or the shahada (I don't recall exactly what I said but it was Islamic that's all I remember)
    Then I woke up, weirdly I was extremely close to my wall, I just stared at my wall not moving. I realised that my head was at the wrong end of the bed (Where my feet usually are) but now...
    I feel a harsh pain in my back, I look over my shoulder and saw something in my back, something being twisted... It was a black object and I followed it upwards (Like up it's arm) and the whole character was black. I don't recall the features of this character I just remember the knife (or whatever it had in my back) was being twisted and I was froze (other than my eyes), as I looked up the character it's face was scary that I just lashed my head around and looked at the wall again. I couldn't do anything at all, I was in grave pain and the character was tall and very scary.
    As I looked at the wall it stopped and I just laid there, my back felt like a gash had been taken out of it. I reluctantly reached round and checked (I really didn't want to but I had to) but thankfully my back was in one piece, even though it felt like it had been stabbed..
    I laid in bed for an hour or so, contemplating on what had just happened. Had I just been stabbed? Who stabbed me? What was all of that about? What's going on? then I got out of bed feeling creeped out and I kept that dream private for a few months. I was worried that people would think I'm infected with the devil or something (At this point I didn't know anything about jinn and this stuff) May Allah(SWT) protect us all. Ameen
    I continued to pray and stuff, it's what I wanted to do so screw that dream...
    I had a few similar dreams but that's the one I can mainly remember due to it's impact on me (i.e I felt it when I was awake) - They usually were around the same subject (Wanting me to leave Islam)

    The Family
    I would just like to start this of by saying that I do NOT blame my family for this at all. I'm certain shaiytan tricked them. (Due to this all being way out of their own characters)

    After telling my friend it came to the fun part... Telling the family, lol this wasn't easy at all. Especially when you have a family of Muslim hating....
    I thought it's best to tell dad first, I walked in to the living room and then I chickened out.. (lool)..
    So I just said "Dad, you know... Muslims aren't as bad as people think they are." then he had a little rant andd I left before he finished..

    I was in the garden with mum (gardening - I'm cool like that), I said something like "You know Muslims fast for a whole month?". As you can see I'm straight to the point with my parents (Righttt?) Then she had a rant about how terrible Muslims are.
    A little later she offered me some food, I declined and said "Sorry, I'm fasting".. She put 1 and 2 together andd said "I hope you're not a Muslim! No son of mine is a Muslim!".. I went back to my *same line (Yeahh because it works) "Mum, you know... Muslims aren't how everyone portrays them" ... A few weeks of this (Small little hints with a reaction of a lecture (on how evil and terrible Muslims are)).. My dad found (A definite answer) first because we would debate it a lot.
    It was funny, one time he even said that a gang of big scary Muslims had pressured me in to accepting Islam If only they knew...
    But anyhow he found out after we had debated a lot and that he realised Islam wasn't how he thought it was..
    Then when I had been praying my mum walked in and went crazy at me...
    So now she knows...

    My younger brother & sister were in my room and when prayer time would come I'd ask them to leave and sometimes my sister would sneak in and watch me pray. :')
    Then one time... I asked her to leave (nicely :3 ), she said "NO!"...Huh?... "I want to pray too!" (Maasha Allah! :') ... I said that mum and dad might not like it (Didn't know how to handle it), she said "So?"... We prayed (I believe it was Asr) thenn Maghrib came up...
    Again, I asked them both to leave.. Sister: "No!", Brother: "No!" (Subhan Allah)... They both said that they are going to pray :')
    What had happened was every time I had debated with my father they had sneaked down the stairs and sat on them, listening to our debates because they loved what I had to say (Islam)..

    So we prayed again and again and again! Allahu Akbar
    This continued for about a week, due in that week my cheeky sister was sooo happy she went and told mum and dad "I'm a Muslim!" (That she's a Muslim) lol oh how she was much braver than me :p
    Well noww things really change.....
    Mum and dad talk again and again, we're (my and two of my siblings) are performing wudu and then my mum calls my sister in to the bedroom (Which is just the other side of the bathroom wall)... I heard my sister telling them (My other younger brother and my mum) "No!" "No!" "Get off!" so I walked in and said "What's wrong?", my brother and mum quickly letting go off my sister and she ran over and grabbed my hand. They were telling her that she can't be a Muslim, doing that "wash thing" (wudu) is making her unwell, they'll disown her.... This really got my bothered and I wanted to put them in their place so I started and my sister said "No, come on! It's prayer time" while holding on to my hand and lightly pulling me.
    The same thing with my brother, he got the same treatment...
    My mum would 'accidentally' walk in while we're praying and my brother and sister would later tell me that she had kicked or shoved them...
    My dad at this point just keeping out of the way but he was saddened by it (Us praying)

    They (My brother, dad and mum) spoke again...

    Solving The "Problem"
    My mum came and made an argument with me, just before dinner
    I had been refusing to eat the meat they served me...
    My dad angered that I wouldn't eat it (I'm 99% certain that isn't what actually made him angry but that 'worked' as an excuse) came to me and started cursing Islam, Muhammad (SAW), me and saying that I'm "brainwashing" my brother and sister..
    Then he wanted to shove me around until I denied Islam... Pssshhh yeahh right
    Pushing and talking in an aggressive manner didn't work... So he went to stage 2, fisty cuffs (punching), my brother got involved too , mum screaming at me... (Obviously scaring my brother and sister)... I ended up walking up the stairs and my older brother (I have 3 brothers and 1 sister) came and kept the two 'parties' apart... Dad and mum shouting at me saying that I have 15 minutes (tick tock tick tock - I'm still waiting ;) ) to get my stuff and leave. I just sat in my room (No doubt we argued across the stairs for a while beforehand).. A little later they had all finished, my dad came knocking on my door, I ignored and ignored and ignored (Didn't want to speak to him)... He said sorry and stuff through the door... I opened the door and cuddled him.
    That was over for a while (They tried similar things a few times but Allahu Akbar I stood firm) ...
    Then basically all what happens after that is my brother tries to taunt my dad saying that "Your son is a Muslim! You need to deal with that"... but Alhamdulilah my father is learning slowly (He is weird sometimes he appreciates Islam, other times he'll be against it)

    That had all been too much for my brother and sister, they had both been frightened (Mainly due to mum saying she'll disown them)... So they both strayed :( (May Allah(SWT) put them on the right track to Jannah. Ameen)

    Speed in the future a little more.... (Due in that time not much had happened - A lot of debates and that's about it)
    > I built a stronger relationship with my mum and she became accepting (She said "You're my son and whatever you do is down to you" - An improvement) when she realised that being a Muslim has improved my character so much (She has told me countless times) Alhamdulilah.
    > Dad is kind of wobbly (Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not so good)

    My younger brother (The one who was involved in the trouble) was round with some of his friends (Whom happen to be British tools/troops)... Ohh this is wonderful...
    They all (Dad, brother and his two friends) wanted to debate me Alhamdulilah they lost twice (They tried two nights in a row).
    The debate was about everything from war to Islam (generally speaking)... "You've betrayed your family" blahblahblah...
    Now at this point even my younger brother is more understanding.

    Everyone in my family is understanding now.

    Oh and some advise if you're a revert and suffer a problem of someone saying Islam is this and that... Tell them "I follow the Quran and the sunnah, not other Muslims. You go to them and you find something that is so bad that you'll convince me Islam is bad" (Give them some links to help them out - So they can search "Terrorist" and whatever else they'll look for).
    Their lips will be sealed even if they do go and look (Which my dad did)
    (Worked with my dad :p )

    I didn't mention that throughout the struggles I had been watching video on Muhammad(SAW) and the companions struggles, MUCH greater than anything I was going through! This was the biggest 'player' on keeping me from submitting to whatever other people wanted me to do.

    Part 3

    The End Of Ramadan
    Over the night I had a big argument with my father (Over religion) again, I'm going to be thrown out (in the morning). I stayed awake in my room all night, worrying and wondering what I'm supposed to do...
    Then I remembered it's Eid (Eid al-Fitr) in the morning, I looked online for what you're supposed to do on Eid and found that it's basically a lot of food and time with the family (In reverse order). So I was like ok well how am I supposed to do this, I'm supposedly leaving tomorrow.
    It got to around Fajr and after praying I realised that what I need to do.
    I grabbed some money from my 'money pot' and walked to ASDA (about a mile) and bought a trolley of shopping, food, drink, candy (Of course! )... Walked home with like 6-9 heavy bags.
    Once I finally reached home, I set-up some plates, cups and made everything, put it on the dishes.
    While I was doing that my dad came in and he starts complaining about the Muslims celebrating Eid by attacking non-Muslims and I responded something like "Well they aren't supposed to be doing that at all!" and that was that (Things were complicated between us).
    I made my mum a cup of tea and brought my youngest brother and sister some orange juice anddd cup cakes (Everybody loves cupcakes!). I told them that I bought some food and if they could just leave some of it alone so we can eat later (After I've woken up) together. They said no problem.

    I slept and when I woke up (Like 3-4 hours later) Dhuhr was approaching so I waited until then and prayed.
    I went down stairs and everyone apart from my dad (We weren't on talking grounds - Unless he wanted to complain about something a Muslim has done)
    My brother and sister assisted me in opening all of the food and preparing anything that I hadn't already done (Things that may have gone bad).
    They went and called everyone to come for food,
    My dad was the only person (Out of the 7 people in my family ) who refused to come.
    We all sat down and then I thought he would have came in a short time after the rest of us had sat down but he didn't.
    I let everyone help themselves (and waited until they had finished putting food on their plates).
    He still hadn't came in, so I sent my brother to call him again, he refused again.
    I sat in a sad state for a moment thinking "This isn't going to work, I'm supposed to spend time with my family and this isn't my family, this is just most of my family".
    Then I realised what to do, I got a plate and a glass, filled the glass with a drink and stacked the plate with the best of the foods. I requested that my youngest brother takes it in to him.
    When my brother came back in to the kitchen he told me that dad said "Thank you". A few more minutes passed, oh I'm eating by now :3
    My dad then came past and put the plate in the kitchen, I was kind of anxious. (Had he just refused the food?)
    He went upstairs, soon to come back down stairs and in to the kitchen.
    He stayed with us and we all enjoyed the food and time with the family. Usually we never eat together unless we're watching a movie or something (Just the way things are)

    Everyone was happy and alhamdulilah, my dad started speaking to me again and our relationship made a massive leap (It was better now than it had been before).

    All of this happened over the summer holidays and my college friends weren't aware of this. I had implied it on Facebook to them ("Just got a new prayer mat" *photo*... "Reading this.." *photo of the Quran*) but they hadn't realised

    It's the first day, we have new people and whatnot and I'm feeling anxious on how this whole class is going to respond (I believe it wasn't long after some big story on the news about Muslims... ~ Not too sure on that though), I mean these people had known the old Aidan and they've known him for years. They've known him (me) to mess around in class, be the 'tough kid' (Everyone was frightened of me :( ), the kid who strolls in a few hours late and acts like it's nothing, etc...
    (Oh I never mentioned - I didn't go out with my friends over Summer, I spent time with Islam and my family)

    How are these people all going to react to this? How am I going to tell them? Too many questions...

    The very first lesson was pretty much getting to know each other. The teacher had given us all a piece of paper, which we should write down the best thing that we did over the holidays...
    Reluctantly I wrote down "I reverted to Islam", then we folded the paper, gave it to the teacher and he handed them out *randomly... After he had taken a glance (read) at all of them.
    I had put a kink in mine (So I could tell who has it before they read it), but my teacher kept (He shuffled them a few times) putting the one with a kink in to the bottom of his pile.
    Then I was last and the kid hesitantly read "I reverted to Islam" and had to guess between... The only kid growing a beard (me) and me

    Everyone was silent and then my friends asked whether I'm serious. (You see, they're still relying on the old Aidan)
    I had to explain that I was serious and that was that. For today..
    As time went on everyone in my class kept asking me about Islam, God, religion, etc.
    I gave a lot of dawah, enough that I've distributed the Quran several times. Although I haven't had a successful shahada yet (In'sha Allah one day).
    I got a kid from being a strong atheist in to an agnostic (A start, righhhtt?)
    In my work I have always tried to include something Islamic (Teachers deserve dawah too!)

    My teacher found an unused class room which I can use to pray in. But there's a problem... It's through a door which is sometimes locked and only specific people can unlock it...
    When I can't find any of them people I can't do anything (Well, I can because I found out that it only takes a butt slam to unlock but that's beyond the point.. ;) ) so if it's locked I quickly look for those teachers and then I can't find them so I just go to the stairs which are least used and prayer there, out of the way of other people. People have seen and came over, some just saying "What are you doing?" (I'm driving my car - What the damn it look like I'm doing? ) and thenn I don't respond and usually they'll try to mock you. (If only they knew) They give up when they realise you're not interested in them and continue praying...
    ^New people who don't know me...

    Part 4
    Visiting The Masjid
    My friend had been telling me that I need to visit the Mosque, that I need to hook up with some local brothers.
    I looked online for a Masjid that was near by and the only one near to me looked a little out of place...Well "dodgy" and they had weird rules, like "No Females" and things like this. My friend and I were concerned that something may be wrong here (Like this isn't real Islam...), so we decided it's safer that I don't go there, especially not knowing anyone there.
    Some time passed and I was really wanting to visit a Masjid, I was strongly considering going to Kent or London just so I can say (to myself) that I've been to a Masjid.
    Before I went forth with that plan I took a look online YouTube, Google and then finally on Facebook. I was looking to see if I could maybe fine a group/webiste of local Muslims whom I could contact and see about visiting the Masjid...
    When I got round to looking on Facebook I found one page which seemed to be pretty unused but I felt that I should message them anyways.
    Within a week I had a response, we had a short conversation and it wasn't long before we were exchanging phone numbers and I was put in to contact with a brother who was not many years older than me, but old enough to be mature...
    So I spoke to this brother over the phone for a few weeks and I felt very anxious (to go there and meet some 'random guy' whom I know nothing about...).
    But it came to meeting the brother, the plan was that we'll go to Friday jam'aat and then grab some food and socialize for a while.
    Friday had come and I was awake nice and early, "ready" (I wasn't really ready - very anxious-nervous ) to go to the Masjid for the first time.
    I went and waited for the bus but it never arrived, the next bus? Again, same thing..
    The brother called me and asked if I managed to get the bus, after discussing that we could be late (If I got the next bus) he decided to pick me up from my house and go straight to the Masjid. Whereas before we were going to chat for a while (So he could check I know how to pray and that I know what happens in the Masjid - Rather than just going there and possibly being really confused)

    When he picked me up we chatted as we drove to the Masjid and the brother was extremely polite and kind, I felt as if he had been my childhood friend, who just came back from holiday or something...

    We got to the Masjid and he instantly introduced me to a handful of other brothers, who again were extremely polite & kind- Even though these brothers were a little older than us I again felt as if I've known them for a long time. Which was an incredible feeling as I had been quite nervous prior to leaving my house.
    So we went in to the Masid and the brother explained about standing in straight rows and such. I didn't have a clue about that, I just knew face Mecca and you're good to go :)
    He also introduced me in to the sunnah prayer of praying two rakkat on entering the Masjid, as well as a few other sunnah acts such entering the Masjid with the right foot, bathroom with the left, duas on entering here and leaving, etc..
    I remember all except one to this day. :)
    Anyways we're in the Masjid, prayed out two rakkat and now the Masjid is really filling up and space is getting way tight, to the point your knees are in your face.
    At this point I feel good that I'm in the Masjid but at the same time a little anxious due to being squashed and everyone speaking in Arabic (Including the imam).
    The brother kept checking I was ok and that was honestly quite comforting as I felt alien in the Masjid, yet I felt wonderful at the same time.
    Then the adhan was called and everyone stands in rows and now I remember WHY I'm here.
    Subhan Allah it felt amazing praying with soooo many brothers. I was holding tears back, so I thought men weren't allowed to cry (socially).. Since then I've broke down in tears several times in the Masjid :3
    I felt the sweetness of imaan from jamaat and I loved it!
    We left a short while after and got some lunch, again I felt like the brother was my closest friend (If not family).
    After a discussion on everything that happened today (So I know what has gone on, rather than just doing what everyone else is doing) we discussed about pretty much everything in this thread (Family problems and what not).
    We stayed and enjoyed a long conversation and then we had to leave, as the brother needed to meet his sister.
    So he dropped me of home and we made intention to come again tomorrow.

    It came to Saturday and I believe it was Dhuhr (again) and after salah the brother jumped up in front and made a statement... "We have a new brother, Aidan and I would like to request that we all take care of him and make him feel at home" as he said that I kind of sunk a little and was like "Ohh no - Too much attention" and as this happened I saw a lot of bearded faces smiling at me, a lot of "Maasha Allah". Then once he sat back down everyone else jumped up and surrounded me, cuddling me and I felt like I had just came home, this was my (extended) family. Brothers were crying and hehe small children were approaching me to greet me it was soooooo sweet :3
    Everyone wanted to give me everything, every bit of advise, literature and so much more. We stood together discussing if I ever need xyz then call him, if I want to go to xyz call him.... :)
    Well after this and almost bruising from so many hugs :P we again went out and lunch again then we went of home.

    The wonderful thing about the brothers at the Masjid is it didn't take long at all before everyone knew me and I knew (By face atleast) most other people and the people I didn't know were approaching me with "Salam, you're Aidan right?" (Oh no what have I done?! ;) ) and then we'd speak for a long while, sometimes until the next jam'aat :)

    After this I was in love with the Masjid to the point where if I haven't been today I felt down and would try to get there for Fajr Jam'aat the following morning.
    The problem with that was the Masjid is just of 4 miles (3.6 miles - According to Google Maps) from my house. So I'd have to leave quite a bit before Jam'aat and sadly I would miss it a few times and then I'd get really annoyed (with myself), walk home and wait until Dhuhr and then I'd be on my way again. :)

    Sadly since then college has stolen most of my life and Masjid is getting a lot harder to occupy. :( I'm there less than I'd like to be.
    I've been missing it a lot andd I just want to go home. </3

    Well the wonderful time of Christmas was approaching, just 8 days after my birthday (Which was bad enough, having to explain to people "No presents, please don't say 'Happy Birthday'" - No one understood )
    Now again mum is saying she'll get me this and that for Christmas and then when I had to say that I'm sorry I can't accept Christmas presents it caused some arguments as my parents (mainly) thought I was being ungrateful & rude..
    I was asked to help do things like put up decorations and stuff but every time I would avoid it like it's the plague...
    Christmas eve was here so I had the master plan (This is how a revert deals with Christmas) of staying awake all night until after Fajr and then sleeping all day! Perfect plan to avoid a box (hypothetically speaking) full of shirk.
    Well I went through with that but there's a problem... The family all enjoy this day and they feel you should enjoy it too!
    Their plan (Their intention was pure/good) but not on my behalf... So they woke me up and gave me a few presents
    I had to explain to my dad (At this point he was most understanding - Prior to this I had been explaining where a lot of Christmas comes from and how it wasn't Christian - Let alone Islamic) so he put them back under the tree for me. They remained there unnoticed until recently, when they took the decorations down.
    My dad explained everything to my mum and she made an easy understanding (This time...)

    So what did I do after being woken up with shirk thrown on me (In the form of presents).
    I went down stairs (Was *forced in to it) and became Scrooge (The grumpy guy who doesn't like celebrating Christmas) until the point where no one really wanted me there and were contemplating carrying me back upstairs. But then I realised that I am just making my sister and brother upset, I had to try and find something in the middle without crossing my boundaries....
    The solution was to just act as if they had received gifts at any other time and to be happy that they've got the new whatever-ever toy...
    I took the chance to make a change and went ahead and asked what my brother and sister had got and then was happy for them. This worked well until dinner was served and mum took great offence to me not wanting the meat (Lamb).
    She was angry because of how long she had spent preparing it and didn't understand that I can't eat nonHalal meat. I tried offering (Well I said this from the start) the solution of "Mum can have more lamb on her plate, just don't put any on my plate please".
    That wasn't good enough, I MUST eat the food... I refused again and she finally gave up (After half of the house convincing her) and that was pretty much Christmas.

    I thought that I should make a brief explanation of why I couldn't eat the lamb (meat) so everyone understands...
    Basically my mum refuses to buy halal meat, which leaves me "meatless" (So to speak). I had spent quite a while without meat and it had always been my unintended (natural) source of Iron. Without it (In a deficiency) I would get incredibly dizzy and almost passed out a lot of times. It got so bad that I would stand from sitting on the sofa and I would black out, lose my breath and almost fall over again... Then I decided that I need to do something about this, I haven't got the funds and my parents refuse to pay for "My own meat" so I'm stuck without meat, the only decision left was to purchase some high dose iron tablets. They aren't quite the same as a juicy steak but they'll have to do. And there you have it, my meat story! :)

    There is one thing I forgot to mention about Eid.. (I just remembered while writing about halal food)...
    It was the first time since reverting that I've gone actual shopping (In the supermarket) for myself. I didn't know what exactly was halal (In the ingredients and what wasn't). So before I left I mastered a list of ingredients that are haram.
    While I walked through the store I was reading every ingredient on every single product that I thought was suitable until they didn't have anything from the haram list...
    Yeah, just felt like adding that. :)

    Barak Allah!

    Part 5
    How not to teach a convert al-Fatihah
    How not to teach a convert al-Fatihah

    For a week or two I had been sleeping through Fajr and it had started getting to me. I couldn't sleep in the night, but instantly fell asleep shortly before Fajr begun...
    I went to bed with only 1-2 hours until Fajr and said "In'sha Allah I'll wake up and go to the mosque for Fajr"...
    When I woke up Fajr time was just beginning.
    I went to the mosque, having had only 1-2 hours sleep before that...

    At this time I had left my hair to grow (was being lazy) so I'd always wear a like hat... Went to the mosque, tired (obviously), prayed Fajr with the congregation..
    After the prayer the Imam and his circle of (not so)merry men sat in a circle (hence their name), they were going to read Quran, called me over and I would feel rude if I had rejected their offer. So I thought to myself I'm tired but I'll just sit and listen (To be polite) and then make my way home....
    As soon as I sat down they started saying things like "Oh you can't pray wearing that hat because it has a picture on it...Your prayer isn't accepted!" (Ralph Lauren hat, small horse logo on it) I was becoming confused and down from that because I had never heard anything like this before.

    Then they demanded that I hide the picture, I was like "Ermm, I can't?".
    One of the 'merry' men was like fold it up so I did and the stitching on the inside became visible... They were like "No, no that doesn't work..just put it and leave it!" so I was feeling incredibly uncomfortable, completely sleep deprived....
    The imam started with
    "How many rakkat is Fajr?"
    I said "2?"
    Imam: "Zuhr?"
    Me "4?"
    Then he started going "No! Fajr is 4! Dhuhr is 10!...Maghrib 5...Isha 9..."
    I was incredibly confused and felt lost like what the damn have I been taught before!?
    >Later I learnt that he was including the sunnahs. When he told me he gave no more information than that which I have said above.

    Anyway they continued... "Can you recite?" - "I'm learning Fatihah"....
    "What do you do after that then? Just stand there and think about other things?? Think about work? About college?" (Trying to say I stand in prayer thinking about dunya matters)
    Then they commanded me to recite... I already felt as uncomfortable, unwelcome, sleep deprived and so forth as possible.
    I've never recited in front of anyone prior to then and that was all the more awkward.
    All of them staring at me and I awkwardly recited knowing myself that I got it wrong(compared to usual, let alone correctly reciting) due to a million reasons.
    As I recited the Imam and one of his (not so)merry men started doing the look of disapproval (idk how to explain) at each other, shaking heads and one guy even got up and walked off while shaking his head...this obviously made me feel even worse... Then before I finished the imam cut me off and one of his (not so)merry men said "Listen he(the imam) will recite and you copy him"
    [because oral speech is just as easy to copy and paste as a computer, righht?]

    So the Imam would recite " A'uzu bil Allah min al shaitan al rajeem" and that just confused me as I've never seen/heard this in al-Fatihah before.
    Then I'd attempt to copy him , would get it wrong and the imam would just get angrier and more impatient...Untill the point he said that he won't do it now and I felt as if he would hit me.

    Ohh I forgot to mention...
    When I sat with them they asked if I have Quran on my phone and they said to let them see.
    I opened it and showed them, they snatched the phone from myp hone and showed it to each other. Then one switched it to Arabic (it has both English & Arabic) and said "No this is wrong! You need the one with these symbols over the characters!" (He's talking about diacritics, apostrophe like things) - So then I even thought I had been reading from a fake/altered Quran.

    I left the mosque feeling obliterated, confused...
    Went home, cried for God knows how long because I thought I've never prayed my prayers..I've done it all wrong...nothing, all this time wasted...

    Then a friend thankfully called me alhamdulilah and comforted me.
    They explained the whole rakkat business of which the imam and his mates had given me...

    Later on that week I went for Jummah...
    I was happy, walked to the mosque, was early. I had seen a brother whom I knew and we started speaking I walked in to the mosque, the imam stared at me and then pulled one of his friends towards him, whispered to him. Due in their short whispering session they both looked at me multiple times. So obviously they're talking about me....then as I spoke to the guy, the imam's friend(who was whispering with the imam) came over to me and literally pulled me out of the conversation, no salams, broke in to our conversation...He took me next to the entrance (so every person who walks in will see)... Started shouting at me about God knows what, violently waving his finger in my face and everyone was walking in and they all looked at me as if I killed this guy's son or something...He continues shouting and waving his finger in my face for a good 5-15 minutes.. I'm getting incredibly angry with it. I can barely take a 'finger waving' and shouting from my parents, let alone this idiot....I wanted to hit him, I couldn't take it...
    But I knew that wouldn't be the right thing to do.
    So I had to make a million excuses for him... "He's in a mosqe, IF he was outside..." He continues and it makes me even more angry, so another excuse; "He's a Muslim, IF he was a non-Muslim, he's older than myself (maybe 40-50), IF he was younger..." Then many other excuses and then I settled on "Maybe it's a cultural 'thing'; to shout and wave your finger in people's faces". I doubt it but whatever, it was sufficient at the time.

    Then when he finally finished, probably realised he did wrong...He decided that it's because I hadn't (previously) asked him for a lift to the mosque(?) - However I was supposed to do that, track him down? Search warrant? I don't know but he hadn't exactly approached me prior to this occasion :).
    This isn't what he was shouting about.
    I don't know what he had been shouting about because I zoned out else I would have lost my temper but it certainly wasn't about a lift to the mosque.
    He walked away, pushed to the front row (The mosque was 1/2 maybe 3/4 full at this point - When I first got there I don't believe there was more than one or two rows)

    After all of this happened I couldn't dare to ask anyone to teach me or even check if I was reciting correctly.. I just can't because there's noway I'm dealing with anything even close to that again.

    I also gave up going to the mosque except from for prayers which I could sneak in just as the prayer actually begins (so no one noticed) and quickly leave unnoticed.
    What also begun to change was one day someone would be like "Salam! You're the revert right?! :D" and then the next they would simply give me evil looks.
    Eventually just about everyone there would give me dirty looks and rarely would someone give salams (or even a smile) back, in the mosque and in the street..

    A little while after I saw the same guy (who was shouting at me) in the supermarket. So I wanted to give him salams for sake of making peace...
    When he saw that I was approaching him, he quickly turned away and wouldn't acknowledge that I was present at all.. So I left ignored and unnoticed.

    Many months later and I still receive the same foul treatment, imam will literally be right next to me so I'll give him salams and a smile. He'll return that with a 'funny' look and no salams and few dare to speak with me.
    Jazak Allah khair for reading, no need to respond I just want this here to link to - Rather than typing this again
    Last edited by AidanUK; 28-02-15, 04:11 PM.
    The convert story that has been read 15,000+ times
    "In the Ottoman Empire, Muhammadﷺ's descendants formed a kind of nobility with the privilege of carrying green turbans."

  • #2
    Re: My Journey To Islam



    • #3
      Re: My Journey To Islam

      You are 1 of those fortunate ones, whom Allah guided. its always great to read about those that accepted Islam. May Allah keep you guided on the right path and let you die upon Islam, and guide your loved ones to it as well. Ameen.
      Allah is always watching [VIDEO]

      How To Weep For The Fear Of Allah

      Please remember to share these links with people you know so they can also benefit from them. :jkk:


      • #4
        Re: My Journey To Islam

        It's not an easy where you are

        That church hmmmm

        We are all proud of you mash Allah, The biggest reward is gaining the pleasure of Allah swt, and may Allah swt make it easier for you! Ameen

        I like reading stories like this, it makes me appreciate what Allah swt has blessed me with!

        Alhamdulillah for everything!
        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman


        • #5
          Re: My Journey To Islam

          :salams Awwwwwwwwww, mashaAllah i just love revert stories .. :jkk: may Allah keep you steadfast :)
          The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]


          • #6
            Re: My Journey To Islam


            Enjoyed reading that, mind if i ask how old you are? &

            What was your parents reaction to you reverting?


            • #7
              Re: My Journey To Islam

              Originally posted by Umar_ View Post

              Enjoyed reading that, mind if i ask how old you are? &

              What was your parents reaction to you reverting?

              19 (Since December) - Reverted at 18.

              Lol oh their reaction was not the same reaction I got at the Masjid :3 haha
              I might (Don't know if I want too much of that public :/) write what happened next and update the original post some other time.
              >Their reaction was terrible.

              Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
              :salams Awwwwwwwwww, mashaAllah i just love revert stories .. :jkk: may Allah keep you steadfast :)
              Jazak Allah khar.
              wa iyyakum :)

              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
              It's not an easy where you are

              That church hmmmm

              We are all proud of you mash Allah, The biggest reward is gaining the pleasure of Allah swt, and may Allah swt make it easier for you! Ameen

              I like reading stories like this, it makes me appreciate what Allah swt has blessed me with!

              Alhamdulillah for everything!
              Mmmhmm it can get a little 'tricky' at times, living in such a classy neighbourhood

              Yep wonderful church *shivers*


              I'm glad that this has been of more benefit (other than saving me re-writing...) :)
              Last edited by AidanUK; 18-01-14, 12:44 AM.
              The convert story that has been read 15,000+ times
              "In the Ottoman Empire, Muhammadﷺ's descendants formed a kind of nobility with the privilege of carrying green turbans."


              • #8
                Re: My Journey To Islam

                Masha Allah you really deserve best of both worlds. You dont know how blessed you are. May Allah grant you steadfastness.

                Yes please keep us updated with what happened next.


                • #9
                  Re: My Journey To Islam

                  Originally posted by arq View Post
                  Masha Allah you really deserve best of both worlds. You dont know how blessed you are. May Allah grant you steadfastness.

                  Yes please keep us updated with what happened next.
                  wa iyyakum :)

                  In'sha Allah I'll update it tomorrow.

                  Originally posted by Mikha’eel View Post
                  You are 1 of those fortunate ones, whom Allah guided. its always great to read about those that accepted Islam. May Allah keep you guided on the right path and let you die upon Islam, and guide your loved ones to it as well. Ameen.
                  Ameen wa iyyakum
                  In'sha Allah
                  Barak Allah :)
                  The convert story that has been read 15,000+ times
                  "In the Ottoman Empire, Muhammadﷺ's descendants formed a kind of nobility with the privilege of carrying green turbans."


                  • #10
                    Re: My Journey To Islam

                    Subhanallah, so beautiful :')

                    May Allah increase you in good, and may he guide your family to the straight path.

                    Ibn Umar was asked, �Did the sahaba laugh?� He said, �Yes, and the faith in their hearts was like mountains.�

                    "You can not be the ummah that will call the world to goodness if you hate everybody else" - Nouman Ali Khan


                    • #11
                      Re: My Journey To Islam

                      Subhanallah. Amazing read. May Allah make you a pious man.

                      I thought you were gonna go on a journey with Richard Parker :p
                      الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ


                      • #12
                        Re: My Journey To Islam

                        Originally posted by Kas1m View Post
                        Subhanallah. Amazing read. May Allah make you a pious man.

                        I thought you were gonna go on a journey with Richard Parker :p
                        Ameen wa iyyakum! :)

                        Haha nope no Richard's in my journey! :V
                        Last edited by AidanUK; 19-01-14, 10:25 PM.
                        The convert story that has been read 15,000+ times
                        "In the Ottoman Empire, Muhammadﷺ's descendants formed a kind of nobility with the privilege of carrying green turbans."


                        • #13
                          Re: My Journey To Islam


                          Part two please :')
                          Gone with the wind.


                          • #14
                            Re: My Journey To Islam

                            Originally posted by Rebel101 View Post

                            Part two please :')
                            Alhamduliilah I'm glad you and everyone enjoyed it!

                            In'sha Allah tomorrow :')
                            The convert story that has been read 15,000+ times
                            "In the Ottoman Empire, Muhammadﷺ's descendants formed a kind of nobility with the privilege of carrying green turbans."


                            • #15
                              Re: My Journey To Islam

                              Oh so it comes in episodes like tv shows.
                              "Woe be to the ignorant person once for not learning. Woe be to the scholar a thousand times for not practicing." - Al-Ghazali



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