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  • I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

    Salam to all,

    Its been some time since i last posted anything here. For those of you who don't know me, here is a short introduction about myself. I am a young man in his 20's who has suffered from many issues in his life particularly because i am AUTISTIC (and i won't go into the details here since i have mentioned them before). Simply put, i sometimes have troubles doing even the simplest of things......So here is my latest story.

    I was recently hired at a job and i liked it, my group had many guys and girls. I worked very hard and contributed in all manner possible but as you know there are good and bad individuals everywhere. So my whole story revolves around this guy (let's name him mini Dajjal), he appears to be very pious, he has a beard, he says his prayers with jamat and even his screen saver is very Islamic. But above all, one thing this dajjal is good at is convincing people in the easiest manner possible and earn their trust.

    As i told you, my group has girls in it as well, one of them was a very beautiful muslimah who is also religious (hijabi as well), this girl is also very talented and hard working and i was second only to her in our duty performances. So, this dajjal that i mentioned rarely comes to work and when he does he doesn't do much work.Instead, somehow he befriended this muslimah and she is "completely under his control".

    I don't want to backbite anyone here but this was the fact as it stands, i don't know what magic this dajjal had done with her but she was always mentioning his name in front of the management telling them how hard working this dajjal is. So anyway, this dajjal is also very cunning, deceitful and a master manipulator. There are other girls in the group but he chats with only this muslimah and has befriended her (I can guess why).

    So the trouble starts when one day he intentionally picks up a fight with me for no reason, and i defend myself and avoided him. But the next day he does something even more sinister, He sets me up for a massive ruse, this happens when my boss attains me a certain task that i have to complete within a given time. I then went to everyone telling them what they have to do and the time limit, i even tell them to take the workload which they can do in time.

    This dajjal tells me that he will do a certain amount of work in the given time but rather he doesn't and wastes his time chatting with the muslimah all day. At the end i have to give the boss a report about the progress and just few hours before the end he tells me that he is not done with his work and for this he gives is the most Idiotic reason that i have ever heard (I wont even mention the
    reason here since it is so idiotic).

    In order to back up his claims, he somehow convinces the group administrator with his deception and lying to back him up when the boss comes (THIS DAJJAL IS REALLY GOOD WITH WORDS.....I AM TELLING YOU). So, what could i do? I was surrounded, and deadline was approaching fast, i was also furious with this dajjal so i went to the bosses before deadline and told them that the work could not be finished because of dajjal.

    When the bosses call both of us then somehow i snapped and told the bosses that how can this dajjal can be so idiotic to do such a clumsy mistake? I was angry and i had reason for it, this guy was playing me and i now know that i should have been more responsible with my words but let me be very clear here. I am Autistic and somehow i literally don't know how to react in certain situations and i am still learning the basics of life like a child.

    The bosses then tell me that they have heard my concern and want to listen to what this dajjal has to say in his defense, they told me to leave the room. I don't know what this dajjal said to them but the next day the bosses call me and told me that MY attitude and behavior was unacceptable. I told them the truth that this guy didn't worked at all and was chatting with the muslimah but they didn't listen. I was so angry, frustrated, alone, and saddened with this that i left the job knowing that if this dajjal does anything to me
    again then who would listen to me?

    I know that i could have handled the situation better but all of you have to understand that life is very difficult for me, as i said before that sometimes i have difficulty in doing even the simplest of things. I am sad but i have not lost hope, i know that all good and bad comes from the will of Allah and i look at Allah for justice, hope and everything else.

    I just want your opinion on this matter, also a dua would greatly benefit me.


    Thanks for listening my brothers and sisters.
    Last edited by chatfanatic88; 11-01-14, 10:19 AM.

  • #2
    Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

    Salaam Brother,
    Thank you for sharing your problems with us.
    All I can say is that you have not done anything wrong.
    Da j j a l guys was in the wrong. He will be punished for it.
    I hope you find something better. After every hardship comes ease. I have to stress that anger can kill so please avoid it at all costs.
    "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

      Originally posted by chatfanatic88 View Post
      Salam to all,

      Its been some time since i last posted anything here. For those of you who don't know me, here is a short introduction about myself. I am a young man in his 20's who has suffered from many issues in his life particularly because i am AUTISTIC (and i won't go into the details here since i have mentioned them before). Simply put, i sometimes have troubles doing even the simplest of things......So here is my latest story.

      I was recently hired at a job and i liked it, my group had many guys and girls. I worked very hard and contributed in all manner possible but as you know there are good and bad individuals everywhere. So my whole story revolves around this guy (let's name him mini Dajjal), he appears to be very pious, he has a beard, he says his prayers with jamat and even his screen saver is very Islamic. But above all, one thing this dajjal is good at is convincing people in the easiest manner possible and earn their trust.

      As i told you, my group has girls in it as well, one of them was a very beautiful muslimah who is also religious (hijabi as well), this girl is also very talented and hard working and i was second only to her in our duty performances. So, this dajjal that i mentioned rarely comes to work and when he does he doesn't do much work.Instead, somehow he befriended this muslimah and she is "completely under his control".

      I don't want to backbite anyone here but this was the fact as it stands, i don't know what magic this dajjal had done with her but she was always mentioning his name in front of the management telling them how hard working this dajjal is. So anyway, this dajjal is also very cunning, deceitful and a master manipulator. There are other girls in the group but he chats with only this muslimah and has befriended her (I can guess why).

      So the trouble starts when one day he intentionally picks up a fight with me for no reason, and i defend myself and avoided him. But the next day he does something even more sinister, He sets me up for a massive ruse, this happens when my boss attains me a certain task that i have to complete within a given time. I then went to everyone telling them what they have to do and the time limit, i even tell them to take the workload which they can do in time.

      This dajjal tells me that he will do a certain amount of work in the given time but rather he doesn't and wastes his time chatting with the muslimah all day. At the end i have to give the boss a report about the progress and just few hours before the end he tells me that he is not done with his work and for this he gives is the most Idiotic reason that i have ever heard (I wont even mention the
      reason here since it is so idiotic).

      In order to back up his claims, he somehow convinces the group administrator with his deception and lying to back him up when the boss comes (THIS DAJJAL IS REALLY GOOD WITH WORDS.....I AM TELLING YOU). So, what could i do? I was surrounded, and deadline was approaching fast, i was also furious with this dajjal so i went to the bosses before deadline and told them that the work could not be finished because of dajjal.

      When the bosses call both of us then somehow i snapped and told the bosses that how can this dajjal can be so idiotic to do such a clumsy mistake? I was angry and i had reason for it, this guy was playing me and i now know that i should have been more responsible with my words but let me be very clear here. I am Autistic and somehow i literally don't know how to react in certain situations and i am still learning the basics of life like a child.

      The bosses then tell me that they have heard my concern and want to listen to what this dajjal has to say in his defense, they told me to leave the room. I don't know what this dajjal said to them but the next day the bosses call me and told me that MY attitude and behavior was unacceptable. I told them the truth that this guy didn't worked at all and was chatting with the muslimah but they didn't listen. I was so angry, frustrated, alone, and saddened with this that i left the job knowing that if this dajjal does anything to me
      again then who would listen to me?

      I know that i could have handled the situation better but all of you have to understand that life is very difficult for me, as i said before that sometimes i have difficulty in doing even the simplest of things. I am sad but i have not lost hope, i know that all good and bad comes from the will of Allah and i look at Allah for justice, hope and everything else.

      I just want your opinion on this matter, also a dua would greatly benefit me.


      Thanks for listening my brothers and sisters.
      I have been the "dajjal" in the situation u have described above.I have also been the 'anti-dajjal'.This life is a strange game brother,Dont know what else to say to u.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

        salam

        You should not have left the job. you should have stuck up for yourself and your rights. what does quitting solve. you should have just ignored the guy and just do your work good. thats all employers want to see at the end of the day that you do the job and get on with everyone. i think you took things a bit too seriously. dont worry. see if you can get your job back if not find another one and move on. learn from it and dont make the same mistake.

        good luck

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

          it's their loss brother! it's better to keep away from people who give a bad 'vibe'

          You will get a better job in sha Allah, one where you will be happy, why not just work with non muslims? Have you always worked with muslims? Sometimes (in my world) non muslims live you alone which is peaceful they understand

          May Allah swt make it easier for you!-Ameen
          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

            Walaykum salam brother. I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing such difficult problems at work. I have come across other people who have experienced similar problems to this and you may be surprised to hear it's possible your autism had nothing to do with what happened (except for the fact that you got angry and felt you weren't as skilled with words to answer back or defend yourself- but it's also possible that it would've made little difference).

            I experienced a similar problem once when i was working at a school and a colleague was terrible at her job, even skipping classes that she was supposed to teach and yet she had the audacity to report me to the headteacher claiming that I wasn't doing my job properly. It was a very difficult and stressful time for me. My guess is she felt threatened by me because I knew the truth about her, I knew she was skiving instead of teaching certain classes and maybe other staff members didn't know or were on friendly terms with her or were afraid of her because she was a deputy head and had seniority- regardless of the reason it was an incredibly stressful time for me and I'm someone reasonably skilled with words and able to defend myself but I was afraid that I'd lose my job over it. Alhamdullilah, making dua and accepting the matter was in Allah's (swt) hands really helped and eventually that woman 'resigned' (i believe she was pushed out after senior staff realised the truth about her some months later but they gave her the option to resign and have a dignified exit to avoid embarrassing the school) and the school kept me on for a few years after that.

            I know someone else who has experienced a terrible situation at work, this time with a female colleague who would make up false rumours about her, used her charm (and intimidation) to get a gang of colleagues to take her side no matter what and eventually made a complaint to senior staff to try and get a sister fired. To cut a long story short, we believe that the female colleague had narcissistic personality disorder and felt threatened by the sister because the sister was not shallow, not in awe of her and not swayed by her charming manipulation. My guess is that in spite of the difficulties and challenges, it is possible that your autism also causes you to see things differently, which is why you are not as easily swayed by charm and manipulative words, so someone who thrives on power trips and getting what he wants through such manipulation would feel extremely threatened by you (even if you had no intention of exposing him or telling others the truth about him- just your mere presence is considered as threatening). They are the most dangerous of people because they are surrounded by people who will sing their praises and are experts at putting a front to appear charming and wonderful when what they hide beneath is deception, hatred and a cruel nature.

            If you look up the ahadith about 'kibr' (arrogance) it will help you understand the type of person you need to be most wary of. People with kibr can vary, they can be religious, or irreligious or have no religion, but the religious ones who have this will be experts at depicting all the superficial symbols of 'looking' pious but without the humility or depth or sincerity to back it up. Another thing about religious people with kibr is that the genuinely sincere person is the servant of Allah (swt) and serves the deen whereas the one with kibr goes about his life as though the religion is serving him, perhaps even with the attitude that Allah is serving him (nauzobillah) though he wouldn't say that out loud but his innate behaviour would be indicative of such an attitude. I think in getting to know this colleague and reading my post you will know and understand what I'm talking about. What do you think?
            The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

              So sorry to hear that

              If I was you I would have complained to the higher up manager

              or your HR or union

              email them, maybe you wont get your job back but at least that misguided fool wont be treating someone else like crap

              In future, write down incidences every time they occur to what happened n time n date etc

              so when you do complain you have a whole list

              but I really feel you should complain, let us know if u need help writng it out or what to say if u ring up
              My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
              ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
              “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

                You know what ,it is always better to be your own boss.Do u have any skills in particular that maybe u could utilize it and become self employed or partner with somebody to start a kind of new business.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

                  Originally posted by Fairy View Post
                  So sorry to hear that

                  If I was you I would have complained to the higher up manager

                  or your HR or union
                  This dajjal was also in the HR so who would i have turned to now?

                  My firm was small and some individuals were in different departments as well.

                  Originally posted by neelu View Post

                  My guess is that in spite of the difficulties and challenges, it is possible that your autism also causes you to see things differently, which is why you are not as easily swayed by charm and manipulative words, so someone who thrives on power trips and getting what he wants through such manipulation would feel extremely threatened by you (even if you had no intention of exposing him or telling others the truth about him- just your mere presence is considered as threatening).
                  Thanks for your kind words, I must tell you sister that i have left this matter on Allah alone and have not even told my family the real reason for leaving. I was just so sad when i saw their faces when they heard that i was about to quit, I know that i should have been better but my main aim there besides work was to get better in social matters by learning social skills and to absorb as much life experience as possible so that i can better develop my overall personality.
                  Originally posted by UFM View Post
                  salam

                  You should not have left the job. you should have stuck up for yourself and your rights. what does quitting solve. you should have just ignored the guy and just do your work good. thats all employers want to see at the end of the day that you do the job and get on with everyone. i think you took things a bit too seriously. don't worry. see if you can get your job back if not find another one and move on. learn from it and dont make the same mistake.

                  good luck
                  I already called, they are in hiring process but they don't want me :(

                  I am applying at other places now and if all of you could pray for me then maybe Allah would listen to any one of your prayers.
                  Last edited by chatfanatic88; 12-01-14, 11:56 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

                    Originally posted by chatfanatic88 View Post
                    This dajjal was also in the HR so who would i have turned to now?

                    My firm was small and some individuals were in different departments as well.



                    Thanks for your kind words, I must tell you sister that i have left this matter on Allah alone and have not even told my family the real reason for leaving. I was just so sad when i saw their faces when they heard that i was about to quit, I know that i should have been better but my main aim there besides work was to get better in social matters by learning social skills and to absorb as much life experience as possible so that i can better develop my overall personality.


                    I already called, they are in hiring process but they don't want me :(

                    I am applying at other places now and if all of you could pray for me then maybe Allah would listen to any one of your prayers.
                    Remember to do istikhara prayer before applying for any job.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

                      It's sad that you had such a negative experience in this workplace but in an unexpected way maybe that place did serve its purpose in that it has exposed you to the reality of what social interaction can be like and all experiences are useful in this regard, even negative ones. I disagree with people who say you should have stayed at your job as I don't think you would have had the temperament to put up with so much perpetual [email protected] from that individual and nor should you.

                      InshaAllah I hope you find a better job than this, where you receive as much respect as you give to others. In a way, I don't feel sorry for you because your eyes are open to reality. I feel sorry for that beautiful sister who is being misguided by seduction and manipulative words- she is heading for trouble and probably doesn't even realise it but I doubt she would listen to you if you tried to warn her... at least she wont listen until she sees a wake up call for herself (ie if he shows her his true colours at some point).
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I lost my job, really depressed....Please help!

                        Wa alykum assalaam wr wb.

                        One thing I have learned from the past experience is that, ALWAYS have everything in written email communication. If you give out oral instructions to people in your team and if they do not carry out their duties then, when you have to give account for it you will have no evidence, unless you have written communication.

                        So, ALWAYS ALWAYS remember to have written email communications when handing out tasks to others. Even in cases when you could just tell the guy on the next desk to do something and if you have asked him to do such and such and complete such and such task by a certain deadline, still ALWAYS make a habbit of emailing him the same and while doing so it is good to keep the manager in CC, so he is well aware. Then if the guy who was supposed to complete certain task by certain deadline, fails in his duties, atleast you will have evidence to protect yourself. I know sometimes its difficult to remember even I tend to forget this many a times. However, its an important practice in corporate culture. Even in meetings if something has been agreed by different parties, follow it up with an email communication as minutes of meeting and list it out clear as to what has been agreed upon, so there is a record of it as evidence.

                        Don't worry about losing job. Not a calamity falls on the believer buy Allah swt raises his ranks. Also, sustenance and livelihood is only from Allah swt, job is only a means. Allah doesn't need a particular job or even any job to provide us sustenance, Allah swt has decided our sustenance before we were sent into this world. However, we strive to work and do jobs as it is sunnah and Allah swt and his prophet :saw: has instructed us to do so. But our reliance should only be on Allah swt not on our jobs. If we develop this mindset then even if we lose the job we say Alhamdulilah and strive for new opportunities and Allah swt will reward for patience.

                        May Allah swt grant you sustenance from where you never imagined. Ameen.
                        لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

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