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Depressed!

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  • #31
    Re: Depressed!

    In my culture, it doesn't matter if the woman is poor as long as she is an obedient wife.

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    • #32
      Re: Depressed!

      ^that was an indirect marriage proposal, incase you didn't pick up on it ;)
      :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: Depressed!

        mash'allah if I was in ur position, finishing my degree and all!

        I will probably fail and drop out uni this year ... inna lillah wa innah ilayhi raj'oon, but that doesn't mean that I will commit suicide. Find yourself to occupy yourself with something else before you find a job. For example, start reading Islamic books, taking arabic classes, take a few courses on the deen and find some other activity for yourself.

        To find graduate jobs, check out the Guardian's graduate section:
        http://jobs.theguardian.com/jobs/graduate/
        Abu Malik at-Ash'ari reported:

        The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Cleanliness is half of faith

        and al-Hamdu Lillah (all praise and gratitude is for Allah alone) fills the scale, and Subhan Allah (Glory be to Allah)

        and al-Hamdu Lillah fill up what is between the heavens and the earth, and prayer is a light,

        and charity is proof (of one's faith)

        and endurance is a brightness and the Holy Qur'an is a proof on your behalf or against you.

        All men go out early in the morning and sell themselves, thereby setting themselves free or destroying themselves.



        حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَبَّانُ بْنُ هِلاَلٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبَانٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، أَنَّ زَيْدًا، حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ أَبَا سَلاَّمٍ حَدَّثَهُ عَنْ أَبِي مَالِكٍ الأَشْعَرِيِّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ الطُّهُورُ شَطْرُ الإِيمَانِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلأُ الْمِيزَانَ ‏.‏ وَسُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلآنِ - أَوْ تَمْلأُ - مَا بَيْنَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ وَالصَّلاَةُ نُورٌ وَالصَّدَقَةُ بُرْهَانٌ وَالصَّبْرُ ضِيَاءٌ وَالْقُرْآنُ حُجَّةٌ لَكَ أَوْ عَلَيْكَ كُلُّ النَّاسِ يَغْدُو فَبَائِعٌ نَفْسَهُ فَمُعْتِقُهَا أَوْ مُوبِقُهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏

        Reference : Sahih Muslim 223
        In-book reference : Book 2, Hadith 1
        USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 2, Hadith 432
        (deprecated numbering scheme)

        أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

        Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


        Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

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        • #34
          Depressed!

          Pospone the marriage

          Comment


          • #35
            Re: Depressed!

            Salaam Sister,

            Sister you should try and value yourself first before anything else. You need to take care of yourself because nobody else will.
            There are millions of people in your position that are without a job so do not feel you are alone. If people look down on you because you do not have a job that means they are disrespecting God. Try to find good company and stay away from bad company. Take control of your mind, soul and body.
            Only look, hear and talk about things you will benefit from for example reading the Quran, read about Islam, dikr, praying namaz, Islamic events.

            As for men or potential partners looking down on you because you are unemployed are not worth your time. These men are no good for you.
            Do not even consider suicide! Have faith in God.

            May Allah make it easy for you.
            Ameen
            "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: Depressed!

              Originally posted by Catwoman View Post
              I have recently finished university and would like to get married but brothers turn away as I am unemployed, though Ive been searching for months on end. My family arent wealthy and father wont pay for my wedding so Im sort of on my own. I dont have older brothers to rely on only sisters who no longer live at home as they are married and my whole family seem to expect me to find a job just like that..then save up and marry. I feel so useless and my sexual frustration increases by the day and I fear I may do haraam just to take my mind of all this stress! :(
              Parents arent religious.
              Brothers probably dont accept me because they dont want someone depending on them...

              Dont know what to do but suicide seemed like a good way to go....


              I dont expect an answer to solve all this but would be nice to have some support and advice...
              I don't get it...
              If I fall in love with a girl, then I would say that it doesnt matter if you work or not. This is not that important for me.
              If the girl I love doesnt have money to get married, I will give her the money she need.
              Don't worry, I promise you will find someone.

              and ... you said to recently finished university ... so, just give you some time to find a job :)

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: Depressed!

                Whatever you do don't suicide sis. I've thought about suicide for many many times, but then I realized this small little truth..suicide won't do anything, because suicide is just a door. I mean..you die..but you keep existing. You keep existing with your deeds, you'll be in your grave with your deeds in a huge punishment, then it will be judgement day and you'll be terrified and then you'll go to hell and burn for a freaking eternity. The thing is we can't escape existence. So suicide is not an option because it doesn't nullify our existence. So it's best to turn to Allah saw yal..even if you'll just curb up under a blanket, and talk to Allah saw yal. Listen to Quran. But don't suicide.
                6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: Depressed!

                  Salam Alaykum,
                  Turn to Allah in times of sadness, He will help you :) There are moments in life where we all feel depressed and aren't motivated but at the end of the day, this life is short and only a test so keep your faith strong and don't give up. Think of jannah and worship Allah, that always cheers me up :)

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                  • #39
                    Re: Depressed!

                    OP I hope you're okay

                    I'm depressed, it's never ending it's just getting worse

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                    • #40
                      Re: Depressed!

                      like I said before only escape is work and using the internet
                      Last edited by Ya'sin; 28-12-13, 11:40 PM. Reason: too much info

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: Depressed!

                        Originally posted by Catwoman View Post
                        I have recently finished university and would like to get married but brothers turn away as I am unemployed, though Ive been searching for months on end. My family arent wealthy and father wont pay for my wedding so Im sort of on my own. I dont have older brothers to rely on only sisters who no longer live at home as they are married and my whole family seem to expect me to find a job just like that..then save up and marry. I feel so useless and my sexual frustration increases by the day and I fear I may do haraam just to take my mind of all this stress! :(
                        Parents arent religious.
                        Brothers probably dont accept me because they dont want someone depending on them...

                        Dont know what to do but suicide seemed like a good way to go....


                        I dont expect an answer to solve all this but would be nice to have some support and advice...
                        Be patient in shaa Allah. Make dua to Allah He Will answer you one day if not in this life then something better awaits in al akhira!! Keep your hopes up by knowing this, have faith and trust in Allah. Remember everything has an appointed time, Allah will give you at the most perfect time yet you don't realise it just be patient!

                        An additional point is to fill your time up with fun filled activities such as Islamic classes, dhikr, excercise helps depression, reading etc in shaa Allah do what you enjoy :) I am in your situation too just a few years down the line... :P

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