Poor choices in life

[a7med]

:salams
I don't know how i got into this,i don't understand some things i'm happy at a moment and then i just don't feel like living...i remember i had finished my 12th grade and then i wanted to go study more i was so pumped at the time and now here i am 1 year later and i don't even care having an exam or not.i don't care me passing or failing i'm not nervous anymore and i don't want to have an ambition.I wanna be sad but i don't wanna cry because i don't deserve to (i feel like it's drama at times) ....all those poor choices made..my past is just garbage.I feel hopeless now in deen there's no luck..i'm not despairing from allah's mercy either i think practical at times like jesus (as) said :
If You should punish them - indeed they are Your servants; but if You forgive them - indeed it is You who is the Exalted in Might, the Wise.

of course i am nothing but 1 person out of billions and billions of people who might end up in hell and who cares but....but in the end i am human i will suffer if i end up there....

anyway i have wronged myself and made these poor choices and now i don't know looking back is just ugly and my future i cant figure out anything because who knows his future?? my present is full of regrets i can't think properly....i'm weird..i don't even know what love means anymore,for ANYONE....i laugh and cry for no reason at times ...and i know you might think i have some mental prob or something but anyway i tried to share part of my (own destruction) story at least.....
only thing is i don't get some things and i don't know what i must know exactly....

i think it's moderation...i'm too happy at times or too sad i should be in between ...but how? this is how i can improve things..how do you do it?

[UFM]

Re: Poor choices in life

Assalam o alaikum

There is no time in a practicing muslims life for these kind of thoughts. Get close to Allah SWT and you will see your problems overcome bit by bit.
Read the quran, pray your daily salat and all these negative feelings will go away. Strive and struggle hard, it will get easier with time.
Regrets don't do you any good as they will just bog you down and sap all your energy. if you have made mistakes, repent ask for forgiveness and never do them again.
As for your future no one knows how that will be unless you act on it now in the present by working hard towards it, even then it is uncertain but that is how it is for everyone

Why do you feel as if you dont deserve jannah, do you not know how terrible the fire of jahanam is. it is so strong it is black in colour, it will not only burn your body but will actually burn away to your understanding, emotions, feelings everything. it is a terrible torment. and no person wants that.

pull yourself together brother and look at the bright side.

There are strict guidelines as to how a muslim is to live his life. I suggest you start practicing on these guidelines because it is soon time to put your forehead to the floor and pray to Allah SWT and you need to be in the best frame of mind when performing your salat.

May Allah SWT ease your condition.

[a7med]

Re: Poor choices in life

:jkk: bro but i think i damaged enough of my iman now i can't even pray properly...allah has helped me alhamdullilah....but i dont know i'l try though i haven't given hope...or maybe i did and i don't even realize..i have accepted some things maybe that will help me

[Sky Lark]

Re: Poor choices in life

You can always better yourself, as long as you are alive you've got hope. Stay in contact with brothers who would be able to help you through this and you wont feel all alone.

[UFM]

Re: Poor choices in life

:jkk: bro but i think i damaged enough of my iman now i can't even pray properly...allah has helped me enough....but i dont know i'l try though i haven't given hope...or maybe i did and i don't even realize..i have accepted some things maybe that will help me

if you think your iman is weak then you need to strengthen it and the best way is to recite the quran and pray your salat and devote as much time to the acquisition of islamic knowledge, you will find automatically that your iman is being strengthened. it takes time. have hope brother, dont despair, for losing hoping is sinful. dont worry so much, and have faith in Allah SWT, he wont forget you if you turn to him

[Nashmia]

Re: Poor choices in life

you learn from the past

just don't do anything stupid where your life and afterlife us affected like marrying the wrong person and having a kid with the wrong person

having haram earnings if not going to hajj when you can etc etc

[Slave4akhirah]

Re: Poor choices in life

:jkk: bro but i think i damaged enough of my iman now i can't even pray properly...allah has helped me enough....but i dont know i'l try though i haven't given hope...or maybe i did and i don't even realize..i have accepted some things maybe that will help me

:salams

That is shaytaan messing with you. You can pray, what makes you think you cannot? Think positive in shaa Allah! Start with that, salah is the most important thing, but it is also the most comforting. Alhamdulillah.