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  • Saving my female friend

    So, here's the story...

    I have a friend and she is a girl, wearing a good hijab and we both are in the same class... 12th grade...
    She has a childish personality and that's okay for me... But, I was afraid that her personality could put her in danger...
    About a week ago, she's hanging out in class, with boys around her. I'm getting very worried because she became a butt of jokes, dirty jokes...
    I thought she understand and go away, but she didn't, she's still sitting there, naively...
    I really wanted to pull her and take her far away from them, but I can't...
    Today, she's getting worse... She laugh at the bad jokes and sometimes make that jokes on her own... Maybe she's hanging out with (bad) boys too much...
    I rarely see her hanging out with other girls, I think this is why she act like this...
    There's should be a great and wise friend who could teach her every good thing, but I think there's none...

    There's one reason why I care about her, she likes me, seems to getting close to me...
    I like her too, but, right now I never show my feeling, I'm like "yeah, whatever"...
    Because you know "NO GIRLFRIEND ALLOWED", and I keep following the rules...
    I never do a serious talk to all of my friend, so I'm just ignore every bad thing she did. but we're still a good friend...

    So, here's the question...
    Should I "get close to her and teach her how to be a good girl" or "ignore her until we're both graduated and never met again"?

    This is one of my reason to join Ummah.com, I hope this is the best place to look for an answer... May Allah blessed your answer...

    (sorry if there's a mistake in the grammar, i'm not very good at english)
    Last edited by Ryanz; 04-10-13, 07:27 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Saving my female friend

    No need to get too close to her buddy, you will get yourself into hell.
    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



    please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

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    • #3
      Re: Saving my female friend

      Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
      No need to get too close to her buddy, you will get yourself into hell.
      Well then, I'm okay with that, I'll stay away from her forever :)

      Anyone else?
      Last edited by Ryanz; 04-10-13, 07:09 AM.

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      • #4
        Re: Saving my female friend

        Stay away from her man, we're commanded not to go near zina, being "friends" with someone you like is never a good idea.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Saving my female friend

          Originally posted by Hadid View Post
          Stay away from her man, we're commanded not to go near zina, being "friends" with someone you like is never a good idea.
          Well, actually it was more like 80:20, she's the 80, I didn't really like her as much as she did, I'm an ignorant person...
          I keep avoiding every girl I like, like forever (I'll stop when I want a wife, of course), sadly I'm popular in school (please don't call me arrogant, it is true), it's hard to stay away from girls... I'm strong enough to keep myself ignoring those girls, even when it's the prettiest girl in school...
          But this one, she's really put herself in the edge of a cliff... Making me feels like "Oh, God please save her"...
          I want to tell her, not go near her... (It's hard to keep away from her because sometimes she's kinda following me, naively)

          Is it okay if I'm sending her a text with something like "don't go near me, don't go near any boys, don't do anything that could put you to hell" ?

          I really wanted to save all my friends from hell not just her, but I'm just a nobody who acting like an ignorant person...

          Two points for "ignore her until we're both graduated and never met again", lol... I might choose this one, soon...
          Please give me more of opinion... Everything's starting to getting in to me :)
          Last edited by Ryanz; 04-10-13, 12:32 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Saving my female friend

            Originally posted by Ryanz View Post
            Well, actually it was more like 80:20, she's the 80, I didn't really like her as much as she did, I'm an ignorant person...
            I keep avoiding every girl I like, like forever (I'll stop when I want a wife, of course), sadly I'm popular in school (please don't call me arrogant, it is true), it's hard to stay away from girls... I'm strong enough to keep myself ignoring those girls, even when it's the prettiest girl in school...
            But this one, she's really put herself in the edge of a cliff... Making me feels like "Oh, God please save her"...
            I want to tell her, not go near her... (It's hard to keep away from her because sometimes she's kinda following me, naively)

            Is it okay if I'm sending her a text with something like "don't go near me, don't go near any boys, don't do anything that could put you to hell" ?

            I really wanted to save all my friends from hell not just her, but I'm just a nobody who acting like an ignorant person...

            Two points for "ignore her until we're both graduated and never met again", lol... I might choose this one, soon...
            Please give me more of opinion... Everything's starting to getting in to me :)
            I don't know if that would be okay, maybe if you have a sister she can talk to her?


            If you're popular, continue to ignore the girls and maybe in sha Allah you will become one from among this group:

            There are seven whom Allaah will shade with His shade on the day when there will be no shade except His: the just ruler; a young man who grows up worshipping his Lord; a man whose heart is attached to the mosque; two men who love one another for the sake of Allaah and meet and part on that basis; a man who is called by a woman of rank and beauty and says ‘I fear Allaah’; a man who gives in charity and conceals it to such an extent that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives; and a man who remembers Allaah when he is alone, and his eyes fill up.” (Agreed upon, narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 620; Muslim, no. 1712; and others).
            Last edited by Hadid; 04-10-13, 01:18 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Saving my female friend

              Originally posted by Hadid View Post
              I don't know if that would be okay, maybe if you have a sister she can talk to her?


              If you're popular, continue to ignore the girls and maybe in sha Allah you will become one from among this group:

              There are seven whom Allaah will shade with His shade on the day when there will be no shade except His: the just ruler; a young man who grows up worshipping his Lord; a man whose heart is attached to the mosque; two men who love one another for the sake of Allaah and meet and part on that basis; a man who is called by a woman of rank and beauty and says ‘I fear Allaah’; a man who gives in charity and conceals it to such an extent that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives; and a man who remembers Allaah when he is alone, and his eyes fill up.” (Agreed upon, narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 620; Muslim, no. 1712; and others).
              SUBHANALLAH!!!
              I never knew about this hadith before... I almost got a teary eyes...
              Now I know why I should keep doing that ignoring stuff (until I met my true love, of course)...

              But, still... It's not about me, it's about saving her or change her into a good muslim... I don't want her to be my girlfriend, I just want her to change her attitude and safe from hell...
              I have a sisters, but uhh... I never do a serious talk to them too, lol...

              Anyone can answer this question from my previous post:
              Is it okay if I'm sending her a text with something like "don't go near me, don't go near any boys, don't do anything that could put you to hell" ?
              What a confusing life I had... "Should I leave her?", this always in my mind...
              If the right thing to do is "ignore her until we're both graduated and never met again", so be it :)

              Comment


              • #8
                Saving my female friend

                stay way ftom her

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Saving my female friend

                  Yep I go with hadid. Ask a sister , and no, not another one that your attracted to - spk to her.
                  And make dua for her. Ask Allah to give her Hidayat. You can't save her. Only she can save herself from hellfire but that comes with allah's mercy
                  Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                  __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                  If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                  You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                  please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Saving my female friend

                    Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                    Yep I go with hadid. Ask a sister , and no, not another one that your attracted to - spk to her.
                    And make dua for her. Ask Allah to give her Hidayat. You can't save her. Only she can save herself from hellfire but that comes with allah's mercy
                    Maybe, this is the right thing to do...
                    I really want to help everyone... But, hidayat can only be given by Allah...
                    I really want to save her but, that's it, I'm outta here...
                    I can't play God... I can't save them, only they can save themselves...
                    Damn, I hate my tears!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Saving my female friend

                      It might be that shaytan is just playing with your mind, trying to give you an "excuse" to talk with her some more. You say that you're thinking about her all the time, that's not good.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Saving my female friend

                        Originally posted by Hadid View Post
                        It might be that shaytan is just playing with your mind, trying to give you an "excuse" to talk with her some more. You say that you're thinking about her all the time, that's not good.
                        i agree

                        Maybe, you can get some islamic literature and just give them to her. Just give them, walk away. no need for chit chat.............oh sister, you need to read this, yes sure - meet me after school so we can discuss or better still just leave it on her desk
                        Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                        __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                        If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                        You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                        please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Saving my female friend

                          Stay her friend, leave when she is doing haram. Every day give her a spoonful of stuff to pull her away from that life, thats what I do with my non-muslim friends.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Saving my female friend

                            Originally posted by Hadid View Post
                            Stay away from her man, we're commanded not to go near zina, being "friends" with someone you like is never a good idea.
                            So being friends with someone you're not attracted to is okay? :scratch:
                            :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Saving my female friend

                              Ma sha' Allah it is very kind of you to care for your sister in Islam. Instead of texting her can you maybe tell a female teacher that the girl might be subjecting herself to peer pressure. Naivety and wanting to be with the 'cool kids' can surely get one in trouble.
                              Apart from that distance yourself from anything that can lead to haraam.

                              And remember the hadeeth that aas mentioned by brother hadid.

                              May Allah reward you, and keep you and us steadfast.

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