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Is there something wrong with me???

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  • Is there something wrong with me???

    My family are always criticising me because I have the following traits and it's got to the point where it makes me feel as if I'm not good enough just because I'm not like everyone else and don't behave like a usual woman should. *Basically, in their eyes I'm:
    -Too quiet(I'm an introvert but they just cant seem to understand this. I'm the kind of person who thinks before I talk and only talk when I want to, to the people I'm close to. Personally I'd rather be a quiet person who thinks before she speaks than a loud, chatty person who doesn't.*
    -I don't like makeup or dancing(which are favourite things my sister and aunts like to do. A couple of months ago we went to a wedding and everyone was having a go at me because I didn't want to wear makeup or dance. I know dancing is haram in Islam and it makes me frustrated when everyone criticises me because I don't do the same things they do.*
    -I recently found out I have epilepsy. At first I was fine with it and glad it wasn't something worse like cancer. But now everytime my family notice I'm being quiet they constantly say that me being quiet is the reason I have epilepsy. When it's not, its just something Allah swt has put in my fate and I've learnt to accept it but they are making it even harder to do so by continuously using it as a way to put me down
    -They are always encouraging me to be more like my younger sister which I hate. She loves dancing and is always listening to music 24/7. She talks a little too much and constantly argues with my mother and disrespects her. I don't understand why they'd want me to be like that!

    What i wanted to ask is, is there really something wrong with me just because I'm an introvert and don't like the things everyone else does? *I think I'm suffering from depression because I hear things like this almost every day and cant take it anymore, and sometimes go to an unoccupied room and start crying(they don't know about this). They even joke about it in front of me and make me feel as if i wont accomplish anything in life because of the way i am. *Why can't they just accept me the way I am???

  • #2
    Re: Is there something wrong with me???

    Of course not sis something is wrong with them. In this life we have no guide but Islam, no standard to hold ourselves up to other the the sunnah of Allah's messenger salallahu alayhe was Salem and no burden that we are uncaple of wearing.

    Develop an intimate relationship with Allah and know that we are honored but in order to fully quality we may have to endure a bit of difficulty is this life. Look how the ears lay by inshallah we will all be dead soon and then only then will you receive your full honor and know with certainty that it was all entirely worth it

    Keep your head up, you are one of the best human beings on this earth even of you don't reaoze it just yet.


    • #3
      Re: Is there something wrong with me???

      The best solution for you is to get married and move out. have a good life.


      • #4
        Re: Is there something wrong with me???

        -________- Salaam sis, my following posts will have quite a lot of assumptions, if they do not match you just try to figure out how it could help you.

        Go up, go down, go left or right, do flips or wheels, it's never good enough. Silence doesn't cause epilepsy. Silence is good. Think about it like this. All of what we say and do is recorded, right? Well if there's silence for you when for others there's pointless chatter, it's a win for you. I guess since you're silent perhaps your family see you as a pushover? You can be silent yet powerful in opinion and deeds. You don't need to take stuff like this from them. I suggest you start reading about the conduct of a muslim, and start showing them that the behaviour they're encouraging is more of a route to hell than the silent behaviour you have. The Prophet didn't speak idle, did he? And he certainly didn't dance around. Neither did his wives I'm sure. There's nothing wrong with you in this regard.

        Maybe you need to be more powerful in speech and conduct even if you were the silent type. Since one can be silent yet powerful.
        6:62 "Then are they restored unto Allah, their Lord, the Just. Surely His is the judgment. And He is the most swift of reckoners."


        • #5
          Re: Is there something wrong with me???


          My dear sister, do not blame yourself for your family's behaviour. I've seen cases like yours a thousand times and I can honestly say that your suffering is due to your family being self-centred. They're never satisfied with you-- nothing is ever good enough. They try to fit you into this mould, but they don't seem able to get their heads out of their rear ends long enough to realize that you are an individual with your own feelings, personality, goals, strengths and weaknesses. I wish they would stop trying to convince you that you ought to be more like your sister-- who are they to say what you ought to be? when did their feelings and assumptions become superior to God's plan for you and your life?

          You don't need to be like your sister to be something. You are a seperate entity; you were not made to be a mirror image of your sister. There may be things your sister has that you don't, but don't let that grieve you because you can be just as certain that you have things that she doesn't have. Every creation of Allah is beautiful in its own way and that includes you.
          "Wert thou to follow the common run of those on earth, they will lead thee away from the way of Allah. They follow nothing but conjecture: they do nothing but lie." (surah 6:116)