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my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

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  • my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

    I don't want to say the gender but I don't know if I should ignore it or tell someone, its been messing with my mind.
    My service is to only the ummah.

  • #2
    Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

    Depends on their parents. I personally don't tell their parents because they most likely already know and I'll get invited to the wedding in another 5 or 10 years.

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    • #3
      Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

      it's none of your business whose dating who, ignore it unless they try to get you involved then say something to them not to anyone else

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      • #4
        Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

        Are they getting married? If yes, I don't see the big deal.

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        • #5
          Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

          And how do you know they are boyfriends/girlfriends?

          Anyhow, i would really not concern yourself so you do not have to hold his/her guilt on your shoulders... but as a cousin it is best you advise him/her and then let them listen or not listen... atleast you tried.
          Bye...

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          • #6
            Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

            To clarify my post, it would also depend on the relationship you have with the cousin and whether someone other than their parents could be told, and they could advise them. You have to judge the situation based on what you know of all parties concerned.

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            • #7
              Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

              I think you guys are misunderstanding me, I don't want her or want anything to do with her, I just don't want to look back 6-8 years later and say maybe I could have prevented the mess she turned into if I had just told her parents. I'm not sure if she will end up in a mess or maybe she won't but it's just bothering me.
              My service is to only the ummah.

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              • #8
                Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

                Originally posted by AFGMAN View Post
                I think you guys are misunderstanding me, I don't want her or want anything to do with her, I just don't want to look back 6-8 years later and say maybe I could have prevented the mess she turned into if I had just told her parents. I'm not sure if she will end up in a mess or maybe she won't but it's just bothering me.
                hmm, maybe confront her and just give her islamic advice, not shout etc maybe suggest marriage, if she ''likes'' him so much, then just marry him. wonder if lover boy will stick around then...

                Are they getting married? If yes, I don't see the big deal.
                ^ bad advice, if he commits zina with her and then leaves her.and says we aint getting married no mo..its not big deal right?
                Last edited by Fairy; 12-09-13, 02:35 AM.
                My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
                ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
                “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

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                • #9
                  Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

                  Why do you guys take zina so lightly in this thread?
                  My service is to only the ummah.

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                  • #10
                    Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

                    We don't know your family, hence we cannot advise you about what is best to do. Nobody is taking zina lightly.

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                    • #11
                      Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

                      Originally posted by Superwoman View Post
                      it's none of your business whose dating who, ignore it unless they try to get you involved then say something to them not to anyone else


                      That's he's cousin! When he or she commits Zina is it still not his fault when he could have advised him or her subhnallah!

                      On the authority of Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) - the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) - that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said :
                      "None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself."


                      He should not expose the sin but he should try and advise the cousin to stop this sinful dating before it leads to more haram! He would not wish to fall into zina so he should not let his cousin fall into it.
                      Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness

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                      • #12
                        Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

                        If my family I would rather know and have the chance of fixing the problem then not know and have to deal with the mess later.

                        This is someone under your aunt and uncles care, they have a right to know.

                        The only reason not to say something would be if a worst problem will occur by saying something, but short of them having a murderous rage problems then probably best to say something if your cousin wont pack it in.
                        FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

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                        • #13
                          Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

                          Originally posted by FutureImam View Post


                          That's he's cousin! When he or she commits Zina is it still not his fault when he could have advised him or her subhnallah!

                          On the authority of Abu Hamzah Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) - the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) - that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said :
                          "None of you will believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself."


                          He should not expose the sin but he should try and advise the cousin to stop this sinful dating before it leads to more haram! He would not wish to fall into zina so he should not let his cousin fall into it.
                          we have different views, i don't think people should interfere in someone's life,

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                          • #14
                            Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

                            Why the hell don't you do something about it if you are so concerned about it, instead of telling someone else which will only lead to spread of fitnah man the hell up and do something, confront the couple and advise them

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                            • #15
                              Re: my cousin may have a girlfriend/boyfriend

                              I would only speak with the couple directly. By going to their/his/her parents you could possibly do more harm than good.

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