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Is there a cure for loneliness?

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  • Is there a cure for loneliness?

    i'm 19, and I have trouble making friends. I think i have social anxiety. I'm socially awkward and I get a nervous breakdown when it comes to social issues. I always wanted to make friends and be part of a group (clique) , I have the intention (sincerely), but I don't know how.

    Whenever I meet new people, I run out of things to say, and get awkward. I really don't know what to do, i've been keeping my self away from people and locked myself in my house, because i'm confused and going through this pain. and this is the source of my depression. I sometime wanted to commit suicide, but my fear of the punishment of that action, prevented me to do so..

    any advices? Can anyone give me a list of things i can do to improve myself, or any webistes, etc..

    I really need it

  • #2
    Re: Is there a cure for loneliness?

    Originally posted by hassan246 View Post
    i'm 19, and I have trouble making friends. I think i have social anxiety. I'm socially awkward and I get a nervous breakdown when it comes to social issues. I always wanted to make friends and be part of a group (clique) , I have the intention (sincerely), but I don't know how.

    Whenever I meet new people, I run out of things to say, and get awkward. I really don't know what to do, i've been keeping my self away from people and locked myself in my house, because i'm confused and going through this pain. and this is the source of my depression. I sometime wanted to commit suicide, but my fear of the punishment of that action, prevented me to do so..

    any advices? Can anyone give me a list of things i can do to improve myself, or any webistes, etc..

    I really need it
    :salams ,

    I would advice spending time at the masjid around righteous people. Inshallah in time you'll warm up to them.
    Don't worry much about running out of things to say, as you get to know people better you'll have more to talk about inshallah.
    Most people are aware of quiet people , I myself am one, and they'll start talking to you more and they'll try to keep the convo going most of the time.

    I don't think you'll need a list or self help books. Cause all they boil down to is go talk to people and you wont do it more or feel it easier to do because a book or website tells you to do it. You'll just be forced into more awkward situations because you'll probably be trying to memorize what they tell you to say and that try to repeat it and that won't work out.

    So in short, hit the masjid, befriend people there and take it a step at a time, introduce yourself and give salams often,they'll start talking to you and warm up to you inshallah
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    • #3
      Re: Is there a cure for loneliness?

      akhii

      Ok first is first; erase the word ''suicide'' out of your vocabulary. You do NOT know what suicide is, suicide does NOT exist in our world. No sir.


      Now consider this: maybe, it's the type of people you are trying to be-friend? I don't have social anxiety but some people just make having a conversation with them a real challenge and you end up feeling self-conscious.

      Good news: Anxiety is treatable Alhamdulilah :) let me share my own experience with anxiety.

      I suffered and recovered from extreme phobia anxiety, like you it lead to depression, isolating myself and basically giving up on life. Alhamdulilah I never thought of suicide but often would think if only I could just die already but then the thought of death was also scary lol. Here is what I did: I prayed to Allah to lift this ''burden'' off me. I constantly read the Quran and made dua. Remember the Quran is a healing and mercy to mankind. For me, Alhamdulilah that was effective enough and within weeks my anxiety was history. You can do what I did. Since you seem even more down than I ever was, I suggest you look into ''psychotherapy'' which is basically therapy using verbal and non-verbal communication to treat anxiety among other conditions. I studied it for a while and they have a high rate of success, so I’A with prayers and professional help your anxiety will also be something of the past. You can also learn about what ‘’social anxiety’’ is and how you can help yourself out. If you are interested I’ll PM you some links I have I’A

      Finally: Never EVER think there is NO way out. There is a way out and you just need to be patient and believe with certainty that the Almighty can hear you and will respond to your needs in perfect timing. It could be that, the people you are trying to befriend will lead you astray and the Most Merciful doesn’t want that for you hence your ‘’social anxiety.’’ Or it could be a way of washing away your sins and purifying you. Or it could just be a test to see how you deal. Whatever the reason, Allah does NOT burden a soul with more than it can handle and He promises ease after each hardship. Allah does NOT break His promise. May Allah grant you ease I’A. Amen.

      Speaking from experience I know how bad anxiety can get and how much it changes you and your life-style. What makes it harder to deal is that most people do NOT think anxiety is a big deal (I was one of these people before going through it myslef) but please don't ever give up hope.
      Last edited by Rebel101; 04-09-13, 06:14 AM.
      Gone with the wind.

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