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I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

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  • #16
    Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

    :wswrwb:

    MashaAllah sis, may Allah SWT make it easy for you, ameen :up:.

    How do you deal with everything? Other people?
    > Tbh our fears are sometimes a bigger deal in our mind than in reality :). Most people will not bat an eyelid inshaAllah as they have better things to worry about than what you're wearing sis! I started to wear it when I was surrounded by non-Muslims (I was the first Muslim fullstop many of them had met!) and didn't have any problems alhamdulillah. If you do ever get any hassle from anyone consider it bushra (good news) as it will InshaAllah be heavy in your scales in aakhirah.

    Have you tripped over?
    > A little slip up is inevitable now and then due to the nature of the garment ;), but you'll become a pro with time.

    Does it get dirty?
    > Lol, it's an article of clothing like any other :P The only time you have issues is when you get caught in a downpour, but this equally applies to other clothing too- e.g. trousers get wet from the bottom when the rain is pouring down- so it shouldn't put you off.

    Where do you buy yours from? How many do you have?
    > Online if they're worth it, but I also get them tailored as you sometimes get sizing issues with ready made ones. How many? Too many :o.

    Did you find that wearing one negatively impacted on work/careers etc.?
    > Nope, the opposite alhamdulillah- when you do something for the sake of Allah it increases barakah in your affairs :up:.

    Do you have days when you don't want to wear one and you've had enough? How do you deal with that?
    > Never in the sense of wanting to stop wearing one, but of course there are times when it is harder than others- e.g. this year's heatwave. When you're hot, bothered and struggling you have to remind yourself who you are doing this for and that is a comfort. Know that the harder it is, the greater the reward InshaAllah.

    No one else in my family wears one (yet) and I don't want to raise their hopes by discussing it with them, in case if I cave in and decide not to wear one in the end.
    > Make your intention purely for the sake of Allah and pleasing Him SWT :). Being the first is such a blessing! InshaAllah you will be rewarded if your actions encourage/give other females in the family the strength to follow suit so grab the opportunity while it stands :D.

    May Allah SWT make it easy for you and all of us, purify our intentions for His sake and accept our actions from us, ameen.
    ربنا واجعلنا مسلمين لك ومن ذريتنا أمة مسلمة لك وأرنا مناسكنا وتب علينا إنك أنت التواب الرحيم

    Our Lord, make us Muslims submitted to You, and our descendants a Muslim community submitted to You. Show us our rites of worship and turn towards us. You are the Ever-Returning, the Most Merciful. [2: 128]

    http://livingthemuslimlife.wordpress.com/

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    • #17
      Jazakallah Khayr everyone!

      We went to the abaya shops today. Long story short, I had to try on so many and ended up all hot and bothered. However, we managed to find one that wasn't too loose or too tight. Trekking all the way there was a nightmare. We ended up bumping into the entire jummah congregation after taking an alternative route to deliberately avoid them .

      Anywho, after much deliberations, I finally left the shop wearing an abaya! Alhamdulillah, it felt so good! I didn't find it hard walking, it wasn't an issue. Insha'allah I hope that this good feeling continues.

      My feet are killing but alhamdulillah I have an abaya hanging in the wardrobe now :)

      But I do have a complaint. Why was it so hard to find a simple abaya? They were either lycra, coloured, heavily embroidered or all of the above. It was so hard! And many of the shops didn't stock much in my size (I'm 54). It was so complicated! Anyone else have this issue?

      I'm glad I've got it all done though alhamdulillah.
      ⚔ Even in death may you be triumphant ⚔
      U.F Sadaqah Jariyah Project

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      • #18
        Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

        Originally posted by Meriadoc View Post
        Jazakallah Khayr everyone!

        We went to the abaya shops today. Long story short, I had to try on so many and ended up all hot and bothered. However, we managed to find one that wasn't too loose or too tight. Trekking all the way there was a nightmare. We ended up bumping into the entire jummah congregation after taking an alternative route to deliberately avoid them .

        Anywho, after much deliberations, I finally left the shop wearing an abaya! Alhamdulillah, it felt so good! I didn't find it hard walking, it wasn't an issue. Insha'allah I hope that this good feeling continues.

        My feet are killing but alhamdulillah I have an abaya hanging in the wardrobe now :)

        But I do have a complaint. Why was it so hard to find a simple abaya? They were either lycra, coloured, heavily embroidered or all of the above. It was so hard! And many of the shops didn't stock much in my size (I'm 54). It was so complicated! Anyone else have this issue?

        I'm glad I've got it all done though alhamdulillah.
        Awwww well done :D

        I forgot to mention getting them tailor made, that's what I do coz like you said they hardly have any simple plain ones. Aren't there any tailors around where you are?

        لا تفكر كثيرا
        بل استغفر كثيرا

        -------------------------------------------------------
        The children need your prayers more than anyone else
        -------------------------------------------------------
        www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

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        • #19
          I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

          No, they're all in the Asian area which is around two areas away. Not to worry, I'll still keep an eye out for any more in my style and size :) We didn't get a chance to try the shops on a different road. Insha'allah I'll go to those shops when I'm down there again.
          ⚔ Even in death may you be triumphant ⚔
          U.F Sadaqah Jariyah Project

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          • #20
            Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

            Originally posted by ibzy View Post
            but whats the diff between jilbab, and abaya?
            don't think too hard on it, its mostly used for the same exact thing, depending on country.

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            • #21
              Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

              Originally posted by ibzy View Post
              but whats the diff between jilbab, and abaya?

              Jilbaab is an obligation as mentioned in one of the ayaat of the Qur'an:

              In surah Al-Ahzab, verse 59 Allah says "O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves their jalabeebihinna. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful."

              A jilbab is any piece single piece of clothing that goes from your shoulders all the way down to your feet and is loose and goes on top of your regular clothes.

              Abaya is just a type of jilbaab worn in gulf countries. In UK many sisters wear long raincoats as jilbaabs.
              If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

              Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.
              There is a possibility a female might use this account to read something!

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              • #22
                Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

                Originally posted by Meriadoc View Post
                Jazakallah Khayr everyone!

                We went to the abaya shops today. Long story short, I had to try on so many and ended up all hot and bothered. However, we managed to find one that wasn't too loose or too tight. Trekking all the way there was a nightmare. We ended up bumping into the entire jummah congregation after taking an alternative route to deliberately avoid them .

                Anywho, after much deliberations, I finally left the shop wearing an abaya! Alhamdulillah, it felt so good! I didn't find it hard walking, it wasn't an issue. Insha'allah I hope that this good feeling continues.

                My feet are killing but alhamdulillah I have an abaya hanging in the wardrobe now :)

                But I do have a complaint. Why was it so hard to find a simple abaya? They were either lycra, coloured, heavily embroidered or all of the above. It was so hard! And many of the shops didn't stock much in my size (I'm 54). It was so complicated! Anyone else have this issue?

                I'm glad I've got it all done though alhamdulillah.
                Alhamdulillah
                Glad you got it sis. Yes, you will love wearing it!!
                You will most defo get a few evils your way, particularly from women but don't mind that. Your a muslimeen, obeying your creAtor, what bigger honour is there??

                Re sizes
                I had a similar exp. I could find no good fit. Either too big or too small, and most of them seemed to be made for giants!!

                Look on the following website al shukr for more abayas
                Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

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                • #23
                  Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

                  Originally posted by Meriadoc View Post
                  Assalamu-alaikum,
                  :wswrwb:

                  For the sisters who do wear it: how do you deal with everything? Other people? Have you tripped over? Does it get dirty?
                  It's very nice to wear abayas in the summer time, people think you're hot in it but it's actually better and it's very thin. haha I trip over it all the time, especially when I am getting up from prayer, I step on the back and fall right back down, but I don't trip over it much anymore alhamdullilah :) It gets dirty it you have a longer abaayas just get a inch or two shorter.

                  Where do you buy yours from? How many do you have?
                  I buy some online and some from Minnesota or family members give me some. I have like 6 abayas and aiming to get some winter ones. :)

                  Did you find that wearing one negatively impacted on work/careers etc.?
                  No and Yes. People look at you in a weird way but after a few months of wearing it you won't even notice anymore.

                  Do you have days when you don't want to wear one and you've had enough? How do you deal with that?
                  Yes, I have those days and I usually wear a skirt when I have those days. Switch from skirts to abayas so you don't get bored.

                  No one else in my family wears one (yet) and I don't want to raise their hopes by discussing it with them, in case if I cave in and decide not to wear one in the end.
                  Don't feel alone. I am the only one that wears one too except when it's eid prayers than my family wears abayas. Just wear it, don't wait until you're ready. Put it on tomorrow morning and don't mind stares.
                  Jazakallah Khayr for your support and advice.
                  :masha: for deciding to try out Abayas and May Allah make it easy on you.
                  Last edited by Bint Muaawiya; 30-08-13, 09:25 PM.

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                  • #24
                    Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

                    And be careful when your getting of the bus!!
                    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                    please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

                      The bus, escalators, stairs, car door..:)

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                      • #26
                        Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

                        Originally posted by Meriadoc View Post

                        For the sisters who do wear it: how do you deal with everything? Other people? Have you tripped over? Does it get dirty?
                        Where do you buy yours from? How many do you have?
                        Did you find that wearing one negatively impacted on work/careers etc.?
                        Do you have days when you don't want to wear one and you've had enough? How do you deal with that?
                        You know when I first started I was scared of course, I started when I was still studying secular so it was slightly difficult personally... I remember one guy commented on my "dress" and I was very defensive. It wasn't right of me, but it was a very touchy subject. But I became very confident and I don't mind speaking or answering questions from people who are curious. I don't think I've tripped over alhamdulillah. Mine always gets dirty because I like to have mine very long so it drags.. this is the way I like it and so I don't mind. It's just dust or soil, which doesn't affect me at all.

                        I have quite a few now, my mum gets me them or actually we just get the correct material (very hard to find :() and get it sewed by someone who is able to sew it the way I like. I'm very picky.. I only like it a certain way. :o

                        No, after I started wearing the abayah I decided what I was doing then just wasn't for me and opted for a different avenue.

                        Yes I do. Especially on Eid (if there's ghayr mahram) or family weddings. I feel like an old woman, because I'm covered in black head to toe.. but alhamdulillah it's just human feelings and they pass. Ultimately the pleasure of Allah is what we seek. But this is very very small, and these feelings are pure shaytaani. Don't ever let it put you off. Whether it be just abayah of you wear the niqaab, you have your ajr waiting inshaAllah.

                        May Allah guide you and us to what pleases Him, ameen ya rabb.

                        I'll be honest, most times I feel like a queen in my garments walking through the streets. I literally have to remind myself to walk with humility. I'm very proud of my abayah and niqaab. Allah knows what's best for His creation. Truly.
                        Last edited by Hamnah; 30-08-13, 10:06 PM.
                        اذاً لن يضيعنا الله

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                        • #27
                          Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

                          I almost tripped on my jilbab years ago when I was going upstairs and carrying my baby niece (cos' normally I don't carry things upstairs and can hold up the jilbab). Ever since then I've been more careful that the jilbab is long but not too long. Mine goes down to just below my ankles but not so long that I'd trip over it or drag it on the floor.

                          I can imagine it must be difficult to get plain jilbabs. I was lucky that I knew how to sew and could buy plain fabric from Southall then make my own. My first jilbab was a gift and second I bought from a shop but mostly my jilbabs are either ones I made or tailor made (now that I can't make them myself). The difficulty with getting plain jilbabs nowadays is, I've noticed that in Pakistan instead of the usual 'shalwar kameez' trend, it's become trendy to wear these long outfits that look like jilbabs, but often have big prints, colours or sparkly bits all over them. That's the mainstream fashion design I guess, so finding something plain is relatively difficult, but once you find one outfit to your liking, you have a template to get others made in the same size.
                          The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                          • #28
                            Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

                            :salams

                            :alhumdull that you found one that you like sis. :insha: you will find it easy and of great benefit.

                            how do you deal with everything? Other people?
                            Well, I believe that following the Sunnah with our clothing (as with everything) is very important and abaya is a great way to dress. :alhumdull It provides great coverage and leaves no-one in any doubt that we are Muslimahs, proud to represent our religion. I normally cover head to toe in a black overhead abaya with niqaab. Whilst other people may have a problem with that, I think the problem is ultimately their's, not mine. That said, I rarely get any trouble from people in the street, just the very occasional comment usually from a kid. I am very grateful for the protection it gives me and am much more focused on pleasing Allah than worrying about what other people think. My own family (white English) don't like me dressing like this, but then they didn't want me to revert in he first place and have generally been fairly hostile to Islam.

                            Have you tripped over?
                            I do stumble very occasionally, but I don't really like them to drag along the ground too much so I wear shoes with thick socks in case my feet show. I am quite careful when climbing stairs etc.

                            Does it get dirty?
                            Yes as with all clothing.

                            Where do you buy yours from? How many do you have?
                            I have bought some lovely ones on trips to Saudi and Yemen and sometimes get others to buy them for me when they go to the middle east. I sometimes buy them on line but struggle to find nice plain ones that hang well in the shops near me.

                            Did you find that wearing one negatively impacted on work/careers etc.?
                            I am a stay at home mum these days, but I did start wearing one when I was an office worker and I can't really say that it impacted work that much though I did get some stares when I first turned up for work dressed all in black. I did get called into my manager's office, but :alhumdull all she said was that she wanted to reassure me that it was fine with her as long as I continued to do my job well and if I had any trouble from the other workers I was to let her know. I was really blessed at work, because I never had any trouble getting time off for salah.

                            Do you have days when you don't want to wear one and you've had enough? How do you deal with that?
                            I love wearing my abaya and niqaab and cannot imagine ever thinking I had had enough! I believe that following the sunnah dress code carries great reward and is very beneficial the protection from prying eyes that it gives, so I would never not want to wear it. For a little bit of variety, I do sometimes wear different coloured abayas such as brown, dark blue and bottle green.

                            I hope and pray that you can keep it up sis.
                            :jkk:
                            Allah is so Great and Merciful that although we continue to disobey Him, He still awaits for our repentance so that He may forgive us.

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                            • #29
                              Re: I think I want to start wearing an abaya [help/advice/support really needed]

                              Originally posted by Meriadoc View Post
                              UPDATE: so I told my mum and she did the typical thing and started crying with happiness lol. Insha'allah we've decided to go tomorrow whilst this feeling is inside of me. Please make du'a for me, I'm so nervous/ excited :D
                              Aww ... mums are great!
                              May Allah aid you sis.
                              'And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
                              Then know that often through delay are gifts received'
                              علي الحبشي

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