Ads by Muslim Ad Network


No announcement yet.

Am I even a genuine muslim?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Am I even a genuine muslim?

    There was a time in my life when I used to take drugs and drink alcohol but then one incident forever changed that and I eventually stopped doing these things(not really relevant here)

    About 2 years ago, I started praying my namaz. It wasnt 5 times a day initially and even now I mostly read fajr namaz qazaa.

    You would imagine that by now I would have developed a deep love for Islam and a passion for praying but no I havent.

    I feel like a robot when I praying. Stand up, go to rukuh, go to sajdah and stand up. I feel empty inside with no attachment whatsoever. I bet there are those who read salat once a week on jummah who read it more passionately than me.

    I dont even know what to do. If I dont pray my namaz, its a unforgivable sin and if I continue to pray my hollow namaz there is always a chance that Allah wont accept them on the day of judgement (Just imagine that, spending your time to read namaz only to find out they were ultimately worthless)

    My frustrations doesnt end there. I feel like I am useless. A complete failure in life and a burden on my family. I have wasted my family's money on education and now I cant even find a job. The only jobs that are probably available out there for me are the ones for which you need no education. Lately I am feeling reluctant to even eat in my house. The thought of living off my family is killing me on the inside. You might think that I shouldnt feel like this because they are my family after all but I cant help myself. This is the way God made me.

    On the other hand, there are probably people out there who dont pray salat at all that have more successful careers than me in their respective fields.

    I had big plans for myself once. I thought by now I would have been settled in life with a decent job, married with kids but now there seems no way.

    I have been doing some research on the internet to find some answers and all I seem to find is that Allah gives you happiness after sorrow. But what if the happiness only lasts for a few days and then its back to sadness which lasts for weeks?

    Last night, it was the first time in years that I was crying endlessly and I actually prayed to God to kill me in my sleep (I know it sounds pathetic)

    I dont even know why I am making this thread. Allah will probably further punish me for being frustrated with Him.

  • #2
    Re: Am I even a genuine muslim?

    I think you explained the answer to your problem in your own question. All the trouble you are going through right now, you are lucky because this is an oppurtunity to get closer to Allah. When Allah loves someone or wants to bring him closer, he puts them through tests and trials so you turn to Allah alone. The attachment that you say you are lacking, this attachment will come only after you go through this trials patiently, turning to Allah alone.

    Also the people who have 'successful careers' and they don't pray salat at all, well what will they do in the Hereafter? Will there successful careers get them anywhere, or save them from the punishment for not praying? Also who says they are even happy? You are lucky that you are not in their position, because they don't even realize what they are missing, whereas you are going through these challenges so you can realize that you need to turn to Allah and that is the only true happiness/success in life.

    So use this oppurtunity to get closer to Allah, and only then you will find true peace in your life. All the negative aspects in your life, like the thoughts of staying away from your family, this is all a side effect of being far from Allah. Once you get that connection to Allah, he provides confort from unimaginable sources. :)

    As for how to get this connection to Allah...well what is the act of worship where you are basically standing face to face with Allah and talking to him? Salah. Make sure to pray 5 times a day, trust me it will become a source of please rather than burden once you learn to find comfort in it.
    Last edited by abc123d; 30-06-13, 04:14 PM.


    • #3
      Re: Am I even a genuine muslim?

      Brother you need to chil and stop worrying for that is what is making you feel this way

      Have your family expressed disappointment for you living off them?; if not then don't let it bother you at all for you are trying your best to get a job and now it's upto Allah when you get it

      Also I'll advice you to get any job (as long as its halal) and not just one that suits your education for it seems to me that what's hurting you most is your inself-sufficiency so once that is sorted, life should get much better

      About salaah, seek Allah with your heart in salaah and take your time in sajdah (say tasbih 7 times instead of 3) and soon you'll feel the spirituality ...