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How do you deal with your emotions?

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  • How do you deal with your emotions?

    As the thread title says...
    :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem


  • #2
    Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

    Write down what you feel on paper, then rip up the paper and move on
    They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

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    • #3
      Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

      Hmmmmmmmmmm well alhamdulilah I've come to accept that emotions are part of my make up (my humanness) so I no longer block them or hide them or feel so confused about them. With that said, after years of self development and coaching and reading and implementing etc I'm now at a stage where for the most part I'm conscious of my emotions so dealing with them is easier (for the most part, it's still a learning curb and a process). One way is by being conscious of the feelings in my heart and being able to consciously ask myself why I'm feeling blah blah, what do I need, what triggered this etc. I still make mistakes tho of course, it's an ongoing process. But the key is being conscious of your emotions so you know what emotion you're feeling at what time and why.

      For example, we don't become angry just like that. Anger usually builds up and starts with annoyance then frustration till eventually BOOM you become angry. This is for everyone, we're not born angry and we aren't angry creatures. I'll give an example. Say you're at a restaurant and you're sitting right next to the door on a cold winters day. Someone comes through the door but they don't close it behind them (remember you're cold and it's a bitter cold winters day) so you get up and close it after them. Second person comes and does the same, so you get up again and close it.

      You're probably annoyed now an not angry or frustrated. (Actually this depends on your patience levels and tolerance).

      So third person comes in and they leave the door open. By now you're starting to get a bit agitated (or maybe before). Fourth person leaves it open and now you're more than annoyed coz you keep on having to get up and close the door. Fifth person comes and BAM! Probably angry so you lash out at them and probably shout at the fifth person and probably have a brawl.

      See that example? When did they get angry? It was building up slowly slowly slowly. So for me I have an awareness like this alhamdulilah so if I'm feeling more and more annoyed to the point we're I'm frustrated I try to leave the situation or talk to myself so I don't end up getting angry and being a gorilla.

      Got the above from this excellent book on anger management.

      لا تفكر كثيرا
      بل استغفر كثيرا

      -------------------------------------------------------
      The children need your prayers more than anyone else
      -------------------------------------------------------
      www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

        Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
        As the thread title says...
        Have you ever noticed that when someone is unhappy, and no matter what you say to them they remain unhappy? Then all of a sudden someone does something silly like walk into the wall, and the unhappy person is all of a sudden in stitches laughing? Or something along those lines, i.e. a person is unhappy, something happens and they are laughing?

        If not, then let me tell you that it happens all the time.

        As people here agree that "thoughts" are our free will, you should check one of my other posts about free will where I am asking the question. In that thread, people seem to be telling me that the only free will we have is what we think.

        So, if you unhappy, that simply means that you're thinking about something unhappy. The example I gave above about another walking into the wall, which sometimes makes the unhappy person laugh, simply says that if you're unhappy, think of something happy or funny.

        In other words, you are what you think.

        So, if you're always thinking about what you don;t have, what others do have, what you can;t do what others can do, what others have done to you, what others didn't do to you, you will be unhappy. Instead, why not be greatful to Allah for everything you have, for the health you have, for the education you have, for the friends you have, for the family you have, for the ability to think, for the ability to learn, for your ability to help others, the list is endless.

        What I am saying is that it is possible to deal with your emotions as fast as the speed of light. You simply have to change what you're thinking about.

        Also, if you're not thinking about anything, then you will be unhappy most of the time. Why you ask?

        If you don't exercise, what happens? you get unwell
        If you don't eat, what happens? you get unwell?
        If you don't think positive, what happens? you get unhappy

        The negative and bad happen naturally for some reason, the good happens with effort only. So you have to put effort into thinking about good stuff and doing shukr, but you don't have to put effort into thinking about rubbish and doing no shukr. However, with practice, it becomes effortless, just the way thinking about rubbish all the time becomes effortless with practice.
        Last edited by oshirowanen; 28-06-13, 04:21 PM.

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        • #5
          Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

          Originally posted by F_R View Post
          Hmmmmmmmmmm well alhamdulilah I've come to accept that emotions are part of my make up (my humanness) so I no longer block them or hide them or feel so confused about them. With that said, after years of self development and coaching and reading and implementing etc I'm now at a stage where for the most part I'm conscious of my emotions so dealing with them is easier (for the most part, it's still a learning curb and a process). One way is by being conscious of the feelings in my heart and being able to consciously ask myself why I'm feeling blah blah, what do I need, what triggered this etc. I still make mistakes tho of course, it's an ongoing process. But the key is being conscious of your emotions so you know what emotion you're feeling at what time and why.
          That's the most difficult part I find tbh, often times there's so many things brewing under the surface that I subconsciously act out of those emotions without understanding what they are and where they came from. People think i'm an erratic, irrational person because of this, when that's really not the case :/

          How do I become more aware of my emotions, any ideas?
          :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

            Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
            ...
            I've tried the positive thinking shizz, only works to an extent, there's positive thinking and then there's lying to yourself, between the two a very fine line exists.
            :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

              Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
              That's the most difficult part I find tbh, often times there's so many things brewing under the surface that I subconsciously act out of those emotions without understanding what they are and where they came from. People think i'm an erratic, irrational person because of this, when that's really not the case :/

              How do I become more aware of my emotions, any ideas?
              You answered that yourself in bold. You gotta bring those things out on to the table and sort em out whilst being clear throughout.

              لا تفكر كثيرا
              بل استغفر كثيرا

              -------------------------------------------------------
              The children need your prayers more than anyone else
              -------------------------------------------------------
              www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

                Cry, eat chocolate and give kitty a big squeeze

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

                  Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                  I've tried the positive thinking shizz, only works to an extent, there's positive thinking and then there's lying to yourself, between the two a very fine line exists.
                  so your not ecstatically happy about the arms and legs allah has given you? that is a lie? if that is a lie and you dont get ecstatic about what you have, then you need to accept a life of permanent sadness :-)

                  in other words if you can make yiurself via thoughts sad with intense emotion, then you can make yiurself happy woth intense emotion. yiu chose whan you want.
                  Last edited by oshirowanen; 28-06-13, 07:28 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

                    I suppress them.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

                      Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                      As the thread title says...
                      Build them up then cry - not very healthy, and needs to change. I would say ideally when you feel a certain way to turn to the Qur'an or pray (working on that for anger, sadness etc)
                      My Lord sanctify my flawed heart
                      As You have sanctified Your house,
                      Make my heart as protected and as honoured
                      In which permission of entry
                      Is only granted to a few,
                      Please Allah, allow my heart
                      To be preserved only for You.



                      ---


                      It hurts, to watch you leave so soon,
                      when I don't know, if I will ever see you again
                      In Jannah, we will meet :love:


                      If I have ever offended, hurt or insulted you, forgive me for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى‎

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

                        Originally posted by Abdalla94' View Post
                        I suppress them.
                        I used to do that, it's not healthy bro you end up either depressed or explode once the intensity of the emotions build up.
                        :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

                          Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
                          so your not ecstatically happy about the arms and legs allah has given you? that is a lie? if that is a lie and you dont get ecstatic about what you have, then you need to accept a life of permanent sadness :-)

                          in other words if you can make yiurself via thoughts sad with intense emotion, then you can make yiurself happy woth intense emotion. yiu chose whan you want.
                          Now you're talking about gratitude not positive thinking :scratch: two different concepts.
                          :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

                            if you take two people, and get person one to think about upsetting stuff 8 hours a day, which most people do on a daily bases for some reason. then you get the second person to think about happy stuff 8 hours a day, guess which person will be depressed and which will be happy?

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                            • #15
                              Re: How do you deal with your emotions?

                              Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                              I used to do that, it's not healthy bro you end up either depressed or explode once the intensity of the emotions build up.
                              I honestly don't know how (nor do I mostly want to). I get the impression it'll make me feel weak if I do. I've never been the type to be depressed and I get what you mean by a build up of emotions. I used to rage when I was lacking emaan and I was generally angry. Alhamdulillah it's better now and to be fair, I only suppress them from other individuals as I channel my emotions through Islam, sports etc. If I were to express myself to anyone it would be my wife (if I ever get married).

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