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People who leave their parents when they marry

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  • People who leave their parents when they marry

    I've noticed a lot of muslim men just abandon their parents and leave them to live on their own once they get married, in fact they want to move away from their parents on purpose. More and more people are doing this too, they see their parents a few times a year.

    If you did this then why? I couldn't imagine leaving them for one second (even now that i'm married).

  • #2
    Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

    Didn't you say while you were at uni you hated coming home to your parents and left as soon as possible?

    Maybe they're feeling whatever you were feeling back then??

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

      Originally posted by x--x View Post
      Didn't you say while you were at uni you hated coming home to your parents and left as soon as possible?

      Maybe they're feeling whatever you were feeling back then??
      LOL....she caught you out there Muhtinof. Elephants and women never forget...!!

      The majority of men who leave their parents after marriage are under the thumbs of their wives. The wives wanna live closer to their own parents.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

        Originally posted by chameleon View Post
        LOL....she caught you out there Muhtinof. Elephants and women never forget...!!

        The majority of men who leave their parents after marriage are under the thumbs of their wives. The wives wanna live closer to their own parents.
        Sorry incorrect.

        In my culture, married couples leave their parents home to live in their own home and create a family. This is not pushed by either husband nor wife. However, most likely they both live closer to the husbands work place. The parents most likely do not mind as they are happy that their kids have settled down. If the parent happen to fall ill, they will move to one of their childs home to be cared for. As a son/daughter they will not close the door to their own parents nor in many cases will the spouse close the door to their elderly that is in need.

        Simple.
        Bye...

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

          Nothing wrong with living separately people with this mentality really need to get off their high horses. The issue is maintaining the relationship and making it better not to ignore them, that is the point that I will agree with you shouldn't just ignore them but that doesn't mean you have to live with them your whole lives. Ofcourse when they become to the point of needing your care than jump to their call like you would your child, for when you were a child and helpless they took mercy on you and now it is your time to take care of them.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

            When I got married, I moved out to my own house. It's not that I don't love my parents. It's that I love my wife and I want to have harmony in my household. My wife is the mistress of my house and my mother is the mistress of her house. Which is fine as long as my wife and my mother live in different houses. Anyway moving out and living in your own house doesn't in the least mean that you are abandoning your parents. Besides you have to grow up some day.
            [URL="http://areesalaam.com"]http://areesalaam.com[/URL] Islam from the viewpoint of a layman

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            • #7
              Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

              Originally posted by `Mohammed View Post
              Nothing wrong with living separately people with this mentality really need to get off their high horses. The issue is maintaining the relationship and making it better not to ignore them, that is the point that I will agree with you shouldn't just ignore them but that doesn't mean you have to live with them your whole lives. Ofcourse when they become to the point of needing your care than jump to their call like you would your child, for when you were a child and helpless they took mercy on you and now it is your time to take care of them.
              Actually it is Fard upon at least one of the Son's to look after and maintain the Parents in old age,

              they can do this even if they live in a seperate house, but more often than not, the miserable state of Secular societies is that many children when they grow up and get married leave their parents, Not necessarily because there is a lack of space within the house, but because they want "Freedom" from their own parents, because they don't wan't parents telling them off , etc ...

              which results in kids literally abandoning their parents, or visiting them once in a blue moon like some distant relative ...

              Nauzubillah in zaliq,

              Do these people even ponder upon the Ayah in which we ask Allah ta'ala to bestow Rahma upon our Prents as they Chreished and looked after us in Childhood?

              May Allah ta'ala save us from being amongst the Ingrates,

              ameen

              :jkk:
              Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 08-06-13, 02:20 AM.
              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

                Originally posted by Muhtinof View Post
                I've noticed a lot of muslim men just abandon their parents and leave them to live on their own once they get married, in fact they want to move away from their parents on purpose. More and more people are doing this too, they see their parents a few times a year.

                If you did this then why? I couldn't imagine leaving them for one second (even now that i'm married).
                just because someone moves out doesn't mean they only visit once a year.

                and in some cultures the parents will actually go out of their way to make sure their married sons/daughters have a separate house.

                looking after parents in old age is a different issue and has nothing to do with whether one is married or not, moved away or not
                "O you who have believed, shall I guide you to a transaction that will save you from a painful punishment?
                (It is that) you believe in Allah and His Messenger and strive in the cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives. That is best for you, if you should know.
                He will forgive for you your sins and admit you to gardens beneath which rivers flow and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence. That is the great attainment"
                .


                "And (you will obtain) another (favour) that you love - victory from Allah and an imminent conquest; and give good tidings to the believers"
                .

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

                  A son is a son till he takes a wife, and a daughter's a daughter the rest of her life
                  "I love the righteous, though I’m not one of them,
                  Perhaps I will gain their mediation for me.
                  And I hate those whose trade is sin,
                  Though we may both have the same merchandise!" Imam Al Shafi'i

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

                    What is a son after he takes his wife :scratch: or are you trying to rhyme?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

                      Originally posted by `Mohammed View Post
                      What is a son after he takes his wife :scratch: or are you trying to rhyme?
                      it's like breathing to some ppl
                      º•○º○•Sabr... is like swallowing something bitter without showing any distaste on your face.•○º○•º -Imam Junaid

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

                        Originally posted by `Mohammed View Post
                        What is a son after he takes his wife :scratch: or are you trying to rhyme?
                        dunno...it's just a saying..im not good at rhyming
                        "I love the righteous, though I’m not one of them,
                        Perhaps I will gain their mediation for me.
                        And I hate those whose trade is sin,
                        Though we may both have the same merchandise!" Imam Al Shafi'i

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

                          Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                          Actually it is Fard upon at least one of the Son's to look after and maintain the Parents in old age,

                          they can do this even if they live in a seperate house, but more often than not, the miserable state of Secular societies is that many children when they grow up and get married leave their parents, Not necessarily because there is a lack of space within the house, but because they want "Freedom" from their own parents, because they don't wan't parents telling them off , etc ...

                          :jkk:
                          In most case, the parents are healthy & financially stable to look after them when their kids get married. In all cases, the father is still working & mother is capable of taking care of her house. When old age comes & parents have retire & need someone to lok after, most of these kids take their parents in the home or move in to the parents house. The in-law war & moving out in bad terms only happens with young parents where both adults (parents n kids) are fighting for control. The key is elder parents need taking care of not a 40 yr old healthy mom/dad because theri 20 yr old son just got married.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: People who leave their parents when they marry

                            Originally posted by `Mohammed View Post
                            What is a son after he takes his wife :scratch: or are you trying to rhyme?
                            it's basically saying a son forgets his parents when he gets married whereas a daughter will never forget her parents

                            (which isn't really true anyway)
                            "O you who have believed, shall I guide you to a transaction that will save you from a painful punishment?
                            (It is that) you believe in Allah and His Messenger and strive in the cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives. That is best for you, if you should know.
                            He will forgive for you your sins and admit you to gardens beneath which rivers flow and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence. That is the great attainment"
                            .


                            "And (you will obtain) another (favour) that you love - victory from Allah and an imminent conquest; and give good tidings to the believers"
                            .

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: People who leave their parents when they marry



                              May Allah ta'ala save us from being amongst such degenerate Children,

                              ameen,

                              :jkk:
                              Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 12-06-13, 10:27 PM.
                              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                              Comment

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