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  • Cutting the ties ?

    Asalam Wa Alaikoom,

    I am a 16 year old boy living in Montreal. Montreal is a very multicultural city it consists of many different races and religious beliefs. I have an issue, l'm considered a "popular" student. This may sound ridiculous, why would that be a problem? Well simply because a lot of the girls in school talk, flirt and even try to "touch" me... I have tried multiple things to avoid this but they just don't understand ... I've tried telling them its against my religion, its sinful, it leads to bad things ... They pretend to understand and stop for a while. But that dosn't work. I tried to approach them differently, be a little ignorant so they would leave me alone yet that did pretty much the opposite. I have tried ignoring some but that just feels wrong ...

    What should I try? How should I approach them? I don't show off or act out for attention or to be liked, I just have a different way of carrying myself that everyone must like I guess?
    Help?

    JazakAllah Khayr

  • #2
    Re: Cutting the ties ?

    Originally posted by SwiSwi View Post
    Asalam Wa Alaikoom,

    I am a 16 year old boy living in Montreal. Montreal is a very multicultural city it consists of many different races and religious beliefs. I have an issue, l'm considered a "popular" student. This may sound ridiculous, why would that be a problem? Well simply because a lot of the girls in school talk, flirt and even try to "touch" me... I have tried multiple things to avoid this but they just don't understand ... I've tried telling them its against my religion, its sinful, it leads to bad things ... They pretend to understand and stop for a while. But that dosn't work. I tried to approach them differently, be a little ignorant so they would leave me alone yet that did pretty much the opposite. I have tried ignoring some but that just feels wrong ...

    What should I try? How should I approach them? I don't show off or act out for attention or to be liked, I just have a different way of carrying myself that everyone must like I guess?
    Help?

    JazakAllah Khayr
    :wswrwb:

    Bro I am very happy to hear you are a popular student, may Allah make you beloved to the creation and beloved to him.

    You say women try to 'touch' you and they 'flirt' with you also. Bro my advice would be to avoid getting yourself in any compromising situations. Avoid mixing with the opposite gender altogether, and if you do see yourself getting in any compromising situation remember the following:

    24:30:
    "Tell the believing men that they should reduce/lower (يغضوا) their gaze/vision and guard their private parts"

    24:31:
    "Tell the believing women that they should reduce/lower (يغضضن) their gaze/vision and guard their private parts"

    Not sure about Montreal however in the Uk most of the private schools are segregated because studies prove that boys and girls perform better without the opposite gender temptation etc.

    I know you say you are only 16 however if you do not already maybe try to adopt the outer sunnah. Like lengthening your beard, wearing loose clothing and wearing your trousers above your ankles etc.

    Finally I would advise to try and grow in your deen by attending classes in your local masjid, talks etc.

    Humble request for duas
    If knowledge was a justification for taqwa then shaytan would be the most muttaqi - maulana Zahir Mahmood
    'More beloved to me than 23 years of lecturing' Sheikh Ahmed Ali
    Islamic etiquette for social media
    http://youtu.be/VVa7av9eKkY

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    • #3
      Re: Cutting the ties ?

      Being popular is pain in the backside, you get noticed, and you just want to crawl under a rock.
      And whatever you have of favor - it is from Allah. Then when adversity touches you, to Him you cry for help

      [an-Nahl 16:53].

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Cutting the ties ?

        Originally posted by Magic. View Post
        Being popular is pain in the backside, you get noticed, and you just want to crawl under a rock.
        Or it could mean Allah swt loves you:

        In Saheeh al-Bukhari, the Prophet saw says:

        “When Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala loves someone, he calls Jibreel and Allah then says, ‘Ya Jibreel! Inni uhibbu fulan! (Oh Jibreel! Verily, I love such and such a person, so love him!)’”

        And Allah names that person and then Jibreel loves that person. Then Jibreel calls out to all the angels of the heavens and he says, “Allah loves so and so, so love him!”and so all the angels love him. And then Allah places pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person!”
        If knowledge was a justification for taqwa then shaytan would be the most muttaqi - maulana Zahir Mahmood
        'More beloved to me than 23 years of lecturing' Sheikh Ahmed Ali
        Islamic etiquette for social media
        http://youtu.be/VVa7av9eKkY

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Cutting the ties ?

          Originally posted by طاهِر View Post
          Or it could mean Allah swt loves you:

          In Saheeh al-Bukhari, the Prophet saw says:

          “When Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala loves someone, he calls Jibreel and Allah then says, ‘Ya Jibreel! Inni uhibbu fulan! (Oh Jibreel! Verily, I love such and such a person, so love him!)’”

          And Allah names that person and then Jibreel loves that person. Then Jibreel calls out to all the angels of the heavens and he says, “Allah loves so and so, so love him!”and so all the angels love him. And then Allah places pleasure in the hearts of the people towards this person!”


          There's a context to that because there are also celebs that are adored, and loved because it's ''cool'' thing to do.
          And whatever you have of favor - it is from Allah. Then when adversity touches you, to Him you cry for help

          [an-Nahl 16:53].

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Cutting the ties ?

            Originally posted by Magic. View Post
            There's a context to that because there are also celebs that are adored, and loved because it's ''cool'' thing to do.
            Yes, jzk.
            If knowledge was a justification for taqwa then shaytan would be the most muttaqi - maulana Zahir Mahmood
            'More beloved to me than 23 years of lecturing' Sheikh Ahmed Ali
            Islamic etiquette for social media
            http://youtu.be/VVa7av9eKkY

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Cutting the ties ?

              brother you need to lower your gaze..don't talk them much except if necessary to do so..mingle with some pious friends..and just pray to Allah..solution to your problem is the title "cutting the ties" with them:up:

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              • #8
                Re: Cutting the ties ?

                The thing is, i don't talk to them unless necessary, I even avoid them... My BEST friends are considered so of the most pious kids in the school, not to mention we perform salah in a secular public school and many people see us, they see im trying to become more pious yet they keep coming ?

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                • #9
                  Re: Cutting the ties ?

                  Btw Thank You everyone for the replies
                  "Tell the believing men that they should reduce/lower (يغضوا) their gaze/vision and guard their private parts"
                  I am already well aware of this ayat, I do constantly lower my gaze and I have had to physically "defend" myself (ie: actually pushing girls away) -.- i just don't get.. :/
                  For the most part, I have tried all of the solutions that have been advised here, they haven't exactly worked so thats why i resorted in seeking help from here...

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                  • #10
                    Re: Cutting the ties ?

                    The most better way is to just leave that place and shift to another if you can. Or you must complain about these things to your school/college authorities.
                    boston niagara falls bus tour
                    new york to washington dc bus
                    Last edited by kate124; 15-06-13, 11:55 AM.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Cutting the ties ?

                      its quite simple, don't hangout with non muslims. Better to have no company than to have bad company...
                      "And so, those were his last words, he had difficulty breathing. Dying on the inside, internally bleeding. The Angel of Death, dragged him away while he was sleeping.... watched his world crumble in front of him, searching for meaning..."

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                      • #12
                        Re: Cutting the ties ?

                        :wswrwb:

                        sit away from them in class - nowhere near them. after lesson get away as soon as possible so they cant catch up with you - make a dash for it. don't look at girls or smile at them or give them any sort of encouragement or even acknowledgment, these lot obviously aren't respecting your boundaries. so don't feel sorry, sometimes you have to be harsh. you've already tried to explain, they didn't listen so they are being disrespectful.

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