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mother does not approve of me wearing hijab

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  • mother does not approve of me wearing hijab

    Assalam o alaikum

    I am a 17 year old female, and i come from a muslim family. my mother i liberal whilst my father is more on the conservative side. i have two elder sisters, who don't hear hijab and my mother also does not wear hijab. no one from my mums family wears hijab, they are very open people, (originally turkish). My sisters and my mother own the belief of 'wearing a hijab is being narrow minded, one can be a muslim by wearing open and all too' . my father on the other hand is south asian and some of his nieces wear the loose headscarf that most people in the south asian community wear.

    I have not been a very strong believer to be very honest, but since the last 1-1.5 years i felt this urge and a strong passion for islam and i really feel very guilty for not wearing a hijab, it makes me question if i am being a hypocrite, just saying im muslim but not doing anything. i am praying regularly Alhamdulillah since the last 2 years, and i read the QUR'AN quite often too, i find that when i am angry or stressed out, reading the QUR'AN gives me peace. the thought of me wearing hijab and covering myself properly INSHA ALLAH feels very right. i dont see no point in showing some skin and not covering myself in front of men or guys. i am aware that hijab is not something i can wear one day and not the other, and i am very confident about wearing it for the rest of my life now INSHA ALLAH.

    i was born and bred in the west and all of my friends and the schools i have been to had barely any muslims at all. i have been the only muslim mostly. having a social circle like mine made my IMAAN weak and i am very ashamed of myself. I am INSHA ALLAH going to start university in a few months time, and by the time i go to university i want to wear hijab and be a good muslim. i tried discussing this issue with my mother before but even before i had the chance to be open she said 'hijab is pointless' . this really hurt me and i dont have the confidence to go up to her and speak to her about this again. PLEASE I NEED SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO CONVINCE MY MOTHER OR HOW TO SPEAK TO HER ABOUT THSI ISSUE. especially if there are any sisters out there who went through this situation too, please i need some advice.

    Thank you.

  • #2
    Re: mother does not approve of me wearing hijab

    Tell your father.

    It's his job after all.

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    • #3
      Re: mother does not approve of me wearing hijab

      ^ What the brother said you have a strong supporter on your hand so make use of him. And if things dont still work out wear it anyway. Its just clothing your mother can't force it and is she tries to force you then tell her "is it not being narrowminded to permit me from not wearing what I like in order to please Allah". Remember there is no obedience in creation when Allah has ordered you to do otherwise.

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      • #4
        Re: mother does not approve of me wearing hijab

        Just do it and then see what she says

        If its "pointless" to her then why should she care?

        Also make duah for your fam
        How dare they challenge me with their primitive skills? They're just as good as dead

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        • #5
          Re: mother does not approve of me wearing hijab

          :wswrwb: sister,

          It is wonderful to read that you are feeling a strong passion for Islam and starting to practice.

          Be aware that observing hijab is a form of worship and is fardh since it is a commandment from Allah . Under these circumstances you are permitted to defy your mother as she is telling you to go against Islam, so just go ahead and wear it and you will automatically come closer to the obedience of Allah which will give your imaan a huge lift insha'allah. You will soon look back and wonder why you waited so long! It would be most unwise to go to university without it. It is your father's role to manage your mother's misunderstanding of our beautiful Deen.
          Allah is so Great and Merciful that although we continue to disobey Him, He still awaits for our repentance so that He may forgive us.

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          • #6
            Re: mother does not approve of me wearing hijab

            I can see this being tough. It's also easy for people to say "tell your father, it's his job". If the father was so influential then the mother and older sisters would have been wearing hijab for a long time. This sounds like a matriarchal kind of household where the mother rules the roost. It's the mother who normally enforces a lot of stuff like; girls dressing modestly, teaching the Quran etc.

            The sister in question needs to speak intimately with the mother, with father for support. The main problem I see is that the mother and older sisters might think that they'll look bad if the younger sister starts wearing hijab and hence look more modest. They might feel intimidated and then might feel pressurised into doing the same when their hearts are not into it. Anyone forced into doing something against their will always resents it.

            Good luck sister, let us know how you got on inshA

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