A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

[Hassan249]

I realized being too nice toward people won't get you anywhere in life. Sometime when you're too nice, you don't know if you're being used by people in a certain way. It won't lead you far in life if you're nice. This is what I got when I was nice toward people, I was mistreated by everyone, (my families, schools, etc..), no respect, ignored, no status, and the list goes on. But thanks to this friend who saved my life, he taught me the opposite. I started thinking of my self only, standing on my own, be bold and treated people with less importance, I started seeing results and improvement in my life. I finally got a job (as a manager at a store), getting respect, girls, social circle, etc..

People are more interested in unpredictable people, rather than nice people.


What do you think? Is Kindness useless?

[Uthmani]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

I wonder how many of those people who mistreated you thought the same way as you do now.

[John Muhammad]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

Al Capone (old-time gangster in the US, for those who don't know) was said to have remarked, "You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone". The choice you have to make for yourself, though, is do you want to be the kind of person who has to carry a gun (even metaphorically) to get ahead?

[Ariadne]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

there is a difference between being kind AND giving too much to the point that people are taking advantage of you. The latter is called martyrdom mentality and should be avoided at all cost. Be kind and give, but don't ignore your well being too. That's called keeping law of balance.

In this dark, full-of-hatred world --- being kind when others not, are like walking in a dark cave where you bringing a neon lamp while others just bringing candle.

Look at how kindness is taught in Islam :

“The believer should be friendly and loveable and there is no good in the one who is not friendly nor loveable, and the best of them are the one who is most beneficial to other people.” (Sahih al-Jami)

Those who are compassionate will be treated compassionately by the One who is Most Compassionate. Have compassion to those on earth and the One above heavens will pour compassion on you” (Abu Dawud)

Allah will not show compassion to those who has no compassion toward people (Bukhari and Muslim)

He who is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness. (Muslim)

[Abu Ameenah]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

if one is genuinely nice, i.e, for the sake of Allah, then people reciprocate in kind; this has been my experience

maybe your 'niceness' weren't genuine enough?, or maybe it weren't from the heart, i.e, just putting on a show and due to the sinfull nature of your heart, Allah's metaphysical law got people to treat you according to how you are at heart

this is not a judgement by the way, but just a guess

[junaid368]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

The saying goes: "Don't wrong others, and don't let others wrong you."

[MuslimBrother']

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

Don't lose this attitude of being nice to people and become a douche like them.

That is strength and resilience we need. People become like the society around them, which we do not need.

[Know_Thyself]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

I realized being too nice toward people won't get you anywhere in life. Sometime when you're too nice, you don't know if you're being used by people in a certain way. It won't lead you far in life if you're nice. This is what I got when I was nice toward people, I was mistreated by everyone, (my families, schools, etc..), no respect, ignored, no status, and the list goes on. But thanks to this friend who saved my life, he taught me the opposite. I started thinking of my self only, standing on my own, be bold and treated people with less importance, I started seeing results and improvement in my life. I finally got a job (as a manager at a store), getting respect, girls, social circle, etc..

People are more interested in unpredictable people, rather than nice people.


What do you think? Is Kindness useless?

Don't be overly kind but at the same time don't be overly rude. Find a middle ground.

Also, regarding what I've highlighted in bold, any good that comes to you is from Allah. Yeah your friend gave some advice and yeah you started to be less kind, but you only got these things because Allah willed.

Not sure if you noticed but I didn't highlight the 'girls' bit, because if getting girls is deemed as a 'result' and 'improvement' in your life, then you're in for a surprise bro! If you'd had said a practicing wife, then Masha'Allah, and tell me your secret!

Muhammed (SAW) said:
"Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people."

Hadith - Tirmidhi, Saheeh: Related by Aboo Daawood (no. 4177) and at-Tirmidhee (no. 1877). It was declared authentic by Imaam al-Albaanee in as-Saheehah (no. 417):

[Abu Ameenah]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

i wouldn't say dont be overly kind, for kindness is part of sunnah and the more kind one is, the better

basically, be as much kind as you can, despite how people may treat you back; consider yourself doing it for Allah so hope for reward and closeness to Allah rather than any kindness back from people; if you stick to kindness, then it gradually will become genuine [in terms of it coming from the heart and your intentions behind it] and then you'll see Allah getting people to be kind to you back

on the day of judgement the only thing that will be of any help to one is a sound heart [one that is kind, compassionate, loving, Allah-fearing et, etc,] and a careering away from kindness is a dangerous thing

[Elsie]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

I realized being too nice toward people won't get you anywhere in life.

Where exactly do you want to go in life that kindness is a flaw?

[ceeri_sista]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

i wouldn't say dont be overly kind, for kindness is part of sunnah and the more kind one is, the better

basically, be as much kind as you can, despite how people may treat you back; consider yourself doing it for Allah so hope for reward and closeness to Allah rather than any kindness back from people; if you stick to kindness, then it gradually will become genuine [in terms of it coming from the heart and your intentions behind it] and then you'll see Allah getting people to be kind to you back

on the day of judgement the only thing that will be of any help to one is a sound heart [one that is kind, compassionate, loving, Allah-fearing et, etc,] and a careering away from kindness is a dangerous thing

Jazak Allah kheer. Pretty much sums anything I would have attempted to write.

Do it for the sake of pleasing Allah . And trust that you will get rewarded, there are decent people out there that will remember the good you do.

There are people that will take your kindness for naivety but why bother yourself with that. Allah loves humility in a mu'min, and kindness towards others. And the best reward is that which Allah saves for you in sha' Allah.

[snow_flakes]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

I ve never heard of a wali/prophet devoid of mercy...i mean for the prophetic kind of mercy.Rarely people choose this.But when they do so...i ve literally seen their DUAS/Prayers accepted right away.Silver tongue what they say.Mercy is what we need today.It doesnt include muslims only...but also non muslims.

[AyaMikail]

Re: A kind heart is useless, it's a flaw in this world.

I always feel that there's nothing wrong in being kind. Do it in the name of Allah SWT. Don't expect people to acknowledge your kind acts.

[shezad]