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Salaam.
Long story short, I was once a straight A student, even getting full marks in some of my exams. Until the second year of college. I literally went from A's to D's/U's. Since my first year marks were so high, they balanced out to ok grades and I amazingly managed to get into uni. First year of uni, I have no idea how I passed. I decided that I would change everything in my second year, go back to my old self and do well for a change. But now I'm in a pickle. I literally have six exams, first one is tomorrow. I'm in my SECOND year of uni and have completely messed up. I know nothing. I stopped going to lectures completely in my second semester due to agoraphobia and severe social anxiety. I've tried to study, but each time I do, I literally (LITERALLY) end up slapping myself and swearing at myself (.. it's ok, you can laugh, I know how ridiculous that sounds). There are some rare occasions where it feels easy to study and I'm full of mental energy, but those are rare. Tbh, the past 3 years have felt like a dream, not real and blah blah blah. However, I do blame myself fully for not studying and attending lectures.
I keep changing between not caring about uni anymore and just accepting that i will fail, to extreme worry. I don't want to disappoint my parents. My mum calls so often to ask how studying is going and I lie and lie that it couldn't be better.
Honestly, I have no idea what's going on. Laziness? Procrastination? Depression? Stupidity? But more importantly, advice on what to do now? Should I just force myself to cram, no matter how many black eyes I give myself? Please someone enlighten me. And make dua for me please. JZK.
Long story short, I was once a straight A student, even getting full marks in some of my exams. Until the second year of college. I literally went from A's to D's/U's. Since my first year marks were so high, they balanced out to ok grades and I amazingly managed to get into uni. First year of uni, I have no idea how I passed. I decided that I would change everything in my second year, go back to my old self and do well for a change. But now I'm in a pickle. I literally have six exams, first one is tomorrow. I'm in my SECOND year of uni and have completely messed up. I know nothing. I stopped going to lectures completely in my second semester due to agoraphobia and severe social anxiety. I've tried to study, but each time I do, I literally (LITERALLY) end up slapping myself and swearing at myself (.. it's ok, you can laugh, I know how ridiculous that sounds). There are some rare occasions where it feels easy to study and I'm full of mental energy, but those are rare. Tbh, the past 3 years have felt like a dream, not real and blah blah blah. However, I do blame myself fully for not studying and attending lectures.
I keep changing between not caring about uni anymore and just accepting that i will fail, to extreme worry. I don't want to disappoint my parents. My mum calls so often to ask how studying is going and I lie and lie that it couldn't be better.
Honestly, I have no idea what's going on. Laziness? Procrastination? Depression? Stupidity? But more importantly, advice on what to do now? Should I just force myself to cram, no matter how many black eyes I give myself? Please someone enlighten me. And make dua for me please. JZK.
to make it easier for you when you are in sujood.
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