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I Feel Lost and Stuck, Help Please?

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  • I Feel Lost and Stuck, Help Please?

    Assalamu alaikum,

    I apologise if I am posting this to the wrong place.

    I am 18 and male and have been Muslim for a little over a year. I suffer from a chronic illness for the last 4 years and that keeps me indoors a lot and feeling quite ill. I don't really network with any Muslims but at the same time don't keep in contact with old friends so am a bit alone.

    But anyway the issue is I just don't know how to think about Islam, well mainly Allah, and how to mentally be in the right place in my life. Often I feel depressed and look up a video and YouTube for example and the sheikh says often that you should not be depressed or should be less depressed because Allah has given you great things and Jannah and wants good for you and is helping you at your time of need etc. but I feel like am I going to get Jannah etc, is am I a good enough Muslim and it may just be waswas but I feel like am I even Muslim, is my iman high enough, do I think we will be questioned in the grave and resurrected etc, and if I ask myself I think of course I do, but my brain doesn't seem to link up.

    I basically don't know how to feel about Allah even after reading his names, I don't know what sort of relationship I am supposed to have. When I was coming to Islam I researched many religions and with Christianity for example it was all like God is Love and I just feel I feel like it is like two separate feelings when I think of the different religions even though its the same God.

    And I see Muslims on videos and online saying how much they love Allah and they are looking forward to Jannah and loads more things and they have a great relationship with Allah but I don't like to say it but I can't feel like I love Allah for expect Jannah because it is like I don't know how to feel towards Allah.

    PLEASE HELP!

    I have felt stuck like this for so long. I find the rules easy because it is like do this, don't do that, that's fine, it is when it gets to the emotional side of things and I even feel I don't repent properly because I don't feel I am saying it for the rights reasons.


    I know some will say its lack of iman, and you may be right, but I think it is that maybe because I have had hardly any contact with Muslims etc, that I have never been shown or told what it is like to love Allah or why we should and that we should hope for Jannah and Allah wants what's good for us, because I always think Allah will be displeased with me and as I am ill that makes things harder.


    I just don't know how to explain it more, I am completely stuck and it is depressing because I want a great relationship with Allah, I want to love Allah, I want to be grateful to him always and love praying to him and having trust that everything is going to be good in the Dunya and the next life.

    I just need some direction, please please please help brothers and sisters, I am sorry I have rambled but this has been going on for so long but I just feel lonely and trapped.

    Jazakallah khayran.

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