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'the grape is sour'

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  • 'the grape is sour'

    so i'm leaving university. in my 4rth year

    mostly because i'm unhappy with my circumstances, not because i dislike my subject.

    i have a long list of 'excuses'

    i cant ever pray a salah on time (which leads to them accumulating, and then abandoning them all together)

    i remove my hijaab and wear trousers and top ( i used to wear jilbaab and niqaab, now i'm a point where i don't sense any shame whatsoever)

    uncover my awra (arms)

    work with men (dr's)

    i never ever have time for the deen (drifted away from the deen long time ago)

    stress (insomnia, weight gain, palpitations, depression, anger problems)

    loneliness (severed ties with my parents/siblings as a result of my resentment for them, for not caring)

    Can't ever do anything I want

    Can't remember the last time I was ever happy

    can never ever study what i want, always doing exams and assignment whose content i absolutely detest.



    so, my plan is to go back home, swallow my pride and make up with my parents/siblings. Then find a local hospital library and pursue my studies with interest, join a gym, get rid of this weight, sort out my sleeping. start swimming again. And most importantly start to heal my hardened heart and relationship with allah.

    any input would be greatly appreciated. I'm an inexperienced hormonal young adult, that is desperately in need of elder wisdom or even youthly wisdom.

  • #2
    Re: 'the grape is sour'

    you gotta do you

    seems like you have some plans so go ahead

    and good for you, its hard breaking out of a cycle

    wish you all the best

    Dont worry about it, this life isnt forever.

    once you get back into praying and reading the Quran, you will feel good about yourself again because you know you are pleasing Allah :)
    My ♥ only lets الله‎ in

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    • #3
      Re: 'the grape is sour'

      Time and remembrance of Allah will make it better Insha'Allah, look at the world and look at the struggles of the Prophets in the Qur'an and it will make you realize even with all the stuff you've been through you still have it good. I say this from personal experience, sometimes its good to fall down only to see our place in the world and how true everlasting happiness can only be achieved in the Akhirah through mercy of Allah and this dunya is only an experience of various trials we must endure and succeed to get there.

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