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Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

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  • Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

    Salaam

    My post today will be about hijab. I realise there is always a beaming light on muslim women and our dresswear and we all get fed up of hearing about it from all manners, are we oppressed? Clearly not, I'm sure all the intelligent folk will agree with me on that one. But then what is hijab and why do we really wear it or not?

    I see many different hijab attempts walking down the streets and wonder whether its just me or do many people realise that these 'hijabis' are not really wearing hijab. Skin tight abayas, hugging their waists etc which shows the figure of the woman. Scarfs bright and wrapped around so many times I wonder whether they are trying to wear hijab or resemble a cabbage, more layers than an onion. I.e. the camel hump, heading more towards cabbage these days.
    Then theres the make-up, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick etc. High-heels and they walk with heads up high (confidence and pride isn't the same thing and neither should you be called 'reserved' or 'shy' for trying to be modest).
    These 'hijab attempts' attract more attention than the non-hijabi women. You can walk past a woman in straight cut jeans, jumper and coat with her hair loose that will appear less attractive than these 'hijabis'.

    So sisters those of you that dress like this, why do you? Can't you raise yourselves above social expectations and remember whom you are really trying to please, Allah.

    And brothers what is you opinions on this? Would you more attracted to marrying these women who make a fool out of hijab or the one who wears it properly to please her Lord. Also how many brothers would expect their wives to beautify themselves outside of the home... 'show them off' to their friends? I ask this because unfortunately many practising muslim sisters find their husbands hold such unislamic expectations and are often asked 'why we don't we make more of an effort when we go out?'
    So much for the theory on men forcing us to wear hijab. If anything, we have to fight to wear it and to wear it properly.
    Last edited by DarkChocolate; 22-02-13, 09:15 PM.
    Allah is compassionate and He loves compassion in all things. [Hadith]
    :lailah::ahb:

  • #2
    Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

    Are u male or female?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

      Originally posted by DarkChocolate View Post
      Salaam

      My post today will be about hijab. I realise there is always a beaming light on muslim women and our dresswear and we all get fed up of hearing about it from all manners, are we oppressed? Clearly not, I'm sure all the intelligent folk will agree with me on that one. But then what is hijab and why do we really wear it or not?

      I see many different hijab attempts walking down the streets and wonder whether its just me or do many people realise that these 'hijabis' are not really wearing hijab. Skin tight abayas, hugging their waists etc which shows the figure of the woman. Scarfs bright and wrapped around so many times I wonder whether they are trying to wear hijab or resemble a cabbage, more layers than an onion. I.e. the camel hump, heading more towards cabbage these days.
      Then theres the make-up, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick etc. High-heels and they walk with heads up high (confidence and pride isn't the same thing and neither should you be called 'reserved' or 'shy' for trying to be modest).
      These 'hijab attempts' attract more attention than the non-hijabi women. You can walk past a woman in straight cut jeans, jumper and coat with her hair loose that will appear less attractive than these 'hijabis'.

      So sisters those of you that dress like this, why do you? Can't you raise yourselves above social expectations and remember whom you are really trying to please, Allah.

      And brothers what is you opinions on this? Would you more attracted to marrying these women who make a fool out of hijab or the one who wears it properly to please her Lord. Also how many brothers would expect their wives to beautify themselves outside of the home... 'show them off' to their friends? I ask this because unfortunately many practising muslim sisters find their husbands hold such unislamic expectations and are often asked 'why we don't we make more of an effort when we go out?'
      So much for the theory on men forcing us to wear hijab. If anything, we have to fight to wear it and to wear it properly.
      I just alluded to this issue the other day when i said (words to the effect): "unfortunately 90% of what people today term jilbaabs and abaayahs are actually far removed from what a jilbaab and abaayah is."

      As for my thoughts on marrying such people, then i have made it clear numerous times on the forum, it's a clear cut definite NO.



      "The `Aalim knows who is a Jaahil, because he used to be a Jaahil before. But the Jaahil does not know who is an `Aalim, because he was never an `Aalim before."


      Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullaah in Majmoo`ul Fataawaa.


      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

        Originally posted by cooldog View Post
        Are u male or female?
        She's female.



        "The `Aalim knows who is a Jaahil, because he used to be a Jaahil before. But the Jaahil does not know who is an `Aalim, because he was never an `Aalim before."


        Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullaah in Majmoo`ul Fataawaa.


        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

          :wswrwb:

          No, but it would see difficult to find one that is not.

          Originally posted by Abu Mus'ab View Post
          I just alluded to this issue the other day when i said (words to the effect): "unfortunately 90% of what people today term jilbaabs and abaayahs are actually far removed from what a jilbaab and abaayah is."

          As for my thoughts on marrying such people, then i have made it clear numerous times on the forum, it's a clear cut definite NO.
          If you don't mind me asking, what part of the world are you currently residing in? Europe?America/Canada? Middle East? Africa?
          "O friend, the cloth from which your burial shroud will be cut may have already reached the market and you remain unaware." Imam al-Ghazali R.A.

          GOOD MANNERS

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

            It can be difficult to go for the most modest way of covering depending on where you live, but what you have mentioned is the other extreme.

            Personally, I think the retailers are to blame too. You have all these stores popping up calling themselves things like hijab shop, where you would be hard pressed to even one find one hijab in that shop that you don't need to wrap around a hundred times and wear layers underneath.

            Then there is the term abaya and jilbaab which is used for things which I wouldn't even wear in front of my mahaarim because they are just so 'out there'.

            There is also all the sisters who do these Youtube videos on hijab tutorials and whatever else, whilst wearing make up, and think by saying 'assalaamu alaykum' they become a scholar so they can give fataawa on what hijab is and whether make up is permissible or not. Anyone who challenges them is then labelled as being 'haraam police'.

            The two above groups of people are pretty much like the fashion industry in the West, but here people think they are buying into something Islamic although it is far from it.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

              Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
              It can be difficult to go for the most modest way of covering depending on where you live, but what you have mentioned is the other extreme.

              Personally, I think the retailers are to blame too. You have all these stores popping up calling themselves things like hijab shop, where you would be hard pressed to even one find one hijab in that shop that you don't need to wrap around a hundred times and wear layers underneath.

              Then there is the term abaya and jilbaab which is used for things which I wouldn't even wear in front of my mahaarim because they are just so 'out there'.

              There is also all the sisters who do these Youtube videos on hijab tutorials and whatever else, whilst wearing make up, and think by saying 'assalaamu alaykum' they become a scholar so they can give fataawa on what hijab is and whether make up is permissible or not. Anyone who challenges them is then labelled as being 'haraam police'.

              The two above groups of people are pretty much like the fashion industry in the West, but here people think they are buying into something Islamic although it is far from it.
              But the sisters have themselves to blame if they are doing this knowingly and all people can do is advise them. An those that advertise such "hijabs" they too are to blame but sometimes those fashionable ones are f
              Made for occasions and not for everyday hijab if that makes sense

              لا تفكر كثيرا
              بل استغفر كثيرا

              -------------------------------------------------------
              The children need your prayers more than anyone else
              -------------------------------------------------------
              www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

                The youtube videos and hijab tutorials are just ridiculous. Hijab isn't just about covering yourself, although that isn't done properly, but also altering the way you behave. Blowing kisses on the youtube video, talking indecently etc... huge tut tut. Are you with me? It's so difficult in this day and age to follow Islam properly and its not the non-muslims but the muslims that make it difficult. A non-muslim you can explain the hijab to and they accept the idea etc. But some muslim women will even argue it isn't obligatory in Islam to cover the hair. Then the difficulty muslim women who practise Islam face with muslim men, they cannot get a husband because they do not flaunt themselves enough, in a modest way of course i.e. the attempted hijab.

                Or their husbands expect them to follow the trend. I hope theres some practising brothers out there who realise their wives are not to be seen by the world and do not encourage that. It's sad when I see my muslim sisters taking off their scarfs or their niqabs under their husbands orders, or when good muslimahs who used to wear hijab properly start wearing makeup with hijab after marriage to please their husbands (outiside of the home). Makes you wonder what the world is coming to, and of course we can't correct them without being given some silly nickname or called something. And often when we try to correct someones mistakes for the sake of deen we will hear, well its not like you're perfect so stop being a hypocrite.... Seriously, this is the hostility of the muslim women when it comes to their dress code as decreed by Allah....
                Last edited by DarkChocolate; 23-02-13, 01:57 AM.
                Allah is compassionate and He loves compassion in all things. [Hadith]
                :lailah::ahb:

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

                  Originally posted by F_R View Post
                  But the sisters have themselves to blame if they are doing this knowingly and all people can do is advise them. An those that advertise such "hijabs" they too are to blame but sometimes those fashionable ones are f
                  Made for occasions and not for everyday hijab if that makes sense
                  Yeah that is true, but for the ones that don't really know what hijab is, it is easy for them to just go with the flow. Also what is disturbing is sisters who cover from head to toe who sell this kind of stuff to sisters and encourage them to buy it, and not for occasions or sisters only gatherings either.

                  Originally posted by DarkChocolate View Post
                  Or their husbands expect them to follow the trend. I hope theres some practising brothers out there who realise their wives are not to be seen by the world and do not encourage that. It's sad when I see my muslim sisters taking off their scarfs or their niqabs under their husbands orders, or when good muslimahs who used to wear hijab properly start wearing makeup with hijab after marriage to please their husbands (outiside of the home). Makes you wonder what the world is coming to, and of course we can't correct them without being given some silly nickname or called something. And often when we try to correct someones mistakes for the sake of deen we will hear, well its not like you're perfect so stop being a hypocrite.... Seriously, this is the hostility of the muslim women when it comes to their dress code as decreed by Allah....
                  It's because we are jealous didn't you know? Not that there is anything physically stopping others from doing what they are doing, but being gawped at by strange men on the street is not really their aim in life.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

                    I think for most women it's about balancing the inherent need in them to beautify themselves with their religion and the idea of modesty promoted within it. I think you'll find that a large majority of these women don't really beautify themselves to be gawped at men, but just for themselves. Not saying I agree with this, but just putting it out there.
                    :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

                      Hijaab is form the root word HJB and actually means to screen etc ( I say etc as other words can be used in translations)

                      The 'screening'' is specific to specific genders and can apply to your house too. SO at Maghrib time when you switch on your lights its easier for people outside to see in, so draw your curtains if tehre is a chance of this.

                      For women there are specific parts of the body that have to be covered, the covering is described too , however todaty we thing it has to be a Jilbab, when in fact the Chadar from Iran would fulfill the criteria, as would the burkha from afghanistan.

                      The whoel wearing of heels is not allowed as there are hadith to say that tehre should be no noise (i refer to the clip clop of heels) and tehre is alsoa hadith about wearing your hair so it looks like a camel hump under your hijaab. Similar things can be found about jewellry and perfume etc too.

                      Also people think because they have hijaab they can go certain places and do certain things, an extreme is a woman in hijaab/jilbaab in a club, or a muslim brother with a thobe in a pub. This also applies to the market place etc and tehse things need to be looked up by individuals.

                      In a nutshell hijaab isnt just about covering your hair, and brothers tight jeans and a tucked in tank top isnt necesarily covering your awra either.

                      As for non covering females, of course everybody deserves the excuse of ignorance, however is it simply not wearing as they dont know or anti it.

                      For me they would have to satrt wearing before the wedding, although I dont think i would ever be in a situation where a non covering sister would even be in teh picture

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

                        Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
                        Yeah that is true, but for the ones that don't really know what hijab is, it is easy for them to just go with the flow. Also what is disturbing is sisters who cover from head to toe who sell this kind of stuff to sisters and encourage them to buy it, and not for occasions or sisters only gatherings either.


                        It's because we are jealous didn't you know? Not that there is anything physically stopping others from doing what they are doing, but being gawped at by strange men on the street is not really their aim in life.
                        If it was jealousy sister, then that would be compromising of our imaan. It would mean we desire for other womens husbands to stare at us whilst we walk down the street, which couldn't be further from the truth. But what is raging is the treatment we, well some of us, receive from our husbands, families and friends who expect us to dress immodestly, doll up our hijabs.
                        Makes me also wonder whether many real muslim men exist in the world who understand what hijab is and support their wives wearing it. Its not jealousy, its more frustration and feeling as though we too are expected to degrade ourselves. The pressure to uncover and become something we do not want to become is frustrating and oppressive. Hijab is our right, our honour and it frees us from all these shallow and superficial things and allows us to be seen for our minds. If I feel anything its anger and frustration for constantly having to explain my reasons for hijab, not to non-muslims, but to muslims. It's the constant battle that is frustrating.
                        Allah is compassionate and He loves compassion in all things. [Hadith]
                        :lailah::ahb:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

                          Originally posted by DarkChocolate View Post
                          Makes me also wonder whether many real muslim men exist in the world who understand what hijab is
                          Heck I still don't understand it completely, and I'm a woman!
                          :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

                            Originally posted by rainbow*~ View Post
                            I think for most women it's about balancing the inherent need in them to beautify themselves with their religion and the idea of modesty promoted within it. I think you'll find that a large majority of these women don't really beautify themselves to be gawped at men, but just for themselves. Not saying I agree with this, but just putting it out there.
                            I disagree with this, I believe they do it to impress and gain attention, and that is what the shaytaan pushes them to do.

                            Otherwise why beautify yourself for yourself? Like so that your own eye may be satisfied? "For themselves" means for the attention and the satisfaction they gain from it, for themselves, when they attract others or show off their beauty. And that is all it really is, showing off and the need to show off.

                            It is such a major sin, if only women knew the enormous punishments that await them for this behavior. I see sisters dressed like this on campus sometimes and I don't even know what to tell them, words just fail me at the dread I feel. Not that I can speak to some random person, but if only they knew, someone needs to tell them.
                            والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                            "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Hijaab attempts and social pressure, brothers and sisters

                              Originally posted by علي View Post
                              I disagree with this, I believe they do it to impress and gain attention, and that is what the shaytaan pushes them to do.

                              Otherwise why beautify yourself for yourself? Like so that your own eye may be satisfied? "For themselves" means for the attention and the satisfaction they gain from it, for themselves, when they attract others or show off their beauty. And that is all it really is, showing off and the need to show off.

                              Fair point, hadn't thought of it like that.

                              It is such a major sin, if only women knew the enormous punishments that await them for this behavior. I see sisters dressed like this on campus sometimes and I don't even know what to tell them, words just fail me at the dread I feel. Not that I can speak to some random person, but if only they knew, someone needs to tell them.
                              Hmm...still the whole issue of hijaab baffles me, especially to what extent it is required of us in the west.
                              :sub: wabihamdihi:sub:hiladheem

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