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Silent Treatment

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  • Silent Treatment

    Salaam

    I am at breaking point right now and believe me I have tried talking things through, however , it is not working.
    I love them but sometimes you have to be selfish to be kind.
    I have decided the only option I have is to give them the silent treatment until things calm down because nothing I say is registering.
    I understand in Islam this is not a good method to use but please tell me what else can I do?
    I try to pray and seek forgiveness and do things in a good manner alhumdullillah.

    Do you think I am taking the right action?
    "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

  • #2
    Re: Silent Treatment

    Originally posted by Green786 View Post
    Salaam

    I am at breaking point right now and believe me I have tried talking things through, however , it is not working.
    I love them but sometimes you have to be selfish to be kind.
    I have decided the only option I have is to give them the silent treatment until things calm down because nothing I say is registering.
    I understand in Islam this is not a good method to use but please tell me what else can I do?
    I try to pray and seek forgiveness and do things in a good manner alhumdullillah.
    Keep praying and making istighfar, we are all in need of doing that always regardless of our situation.

    Do you think I am taking the right action?
    wa alaykum assalam sis

    As we know, if we cant say nothing good, to not say anything at all.

    Hwoever, i dont know who 'them' is/are, so I cannnot advise in case i say something wrong without realising who it is about and then I will make Allah azzawajjal upset with me ...
    Keep praying and making istighfar , something we all need to do regardless of our situation inshallah

    If you wanna talk, feel free to PM me , its not a problem sis

    May Allah azzawajjal resolve your affairs in the best way for you and keep you strong ameen

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    • #3
      Re: Silent Treatment

      I hope you find users here who can advise you much better than I, insha'Allah.
      Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

      ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
      فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

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      • #4
        Re: Silent Treatment

        These are some ahadeeth...

        Sahih Muslim Book 032, Number 6205:

        Anas b. Malik reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Neither nurse mutual hatred, nor jealousy, nor enmity, and become as fellow. brothers and servants of Allah. It is not lawful fora Muslim that he should keep his relations estranged with his brother beyond three days.


        --------

        From Abu Ayyub al-Anshari : Rasulullah saw said : " It is not right for a man to abandon his brother for more than three days".
        ( Bukhari, Muslim )


        -------


        Hadith - Sunan of Abu Dawood 4894, Narrated Abu Hurayrah

        The Prophet said: It is not allowable for a believer to keep from a believer for more than three days. If three days pass, he should meet him and give him a salutation, and if he replies to it they will both have shared in the reward; but if he does not reply he will bear his sin (according to Ahmad's version) and the one who gives the salutation will have come forth from the sin of keeping apart.:



        ------

        It has also been stated in Sunan Abu Dawood by Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The Muslim is not allowed to abandon a Muslim brother more than three (nights). If three days pass and he meets him, he should greet him. If he (the other believer) returns his greeting, then they share the reward; but if he does not return it, he (alone) will incur the sin." Ahmad added: 'And the Muslim is then freed from the desertion.' In another Hadith (it says): "He who breaks off from his (Muslim) brother more than three and dies (during this period) will go to Hell." In another Hadith (it says): "He who deserts his (Muslim) brother for a year is like shedding his blood."
        Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a Gift thats why we call it The Present :)

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        • #5
          Re: Silent Treatment

          What I meant by silent treatment was that I will be talking to them but less than usual.
          "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Silent Treatment

            ohhh...
            Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a Gift thats why we call it The Present :)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Silent Treatment

              Sometimes it's best to take a lil distance from people who only add misery turmoil to your life. There's one person in my life who is always miserable by their actions and only wants me to say one thing so they can flip n go all ra ra on me. So I learned to tip toe around this person, this person is older than me so I get the usual 'older than you I must say sorry first, I must listen to this person'. I can never win with this person, It doesn't matter even if I say something good I get attacked. So I learned to distance myself emotionally from this person and just watch everything I say around them. I can't be myself, I can't even be upset or have a bad day I have to always be in a normal mood, never show emotion cause if I slip n do I will pay a big prize I can't afford.

              So I've started controlling everything I say/do, and I noticed lifes a lil easier because of that but deep down I'm feeling sad cause I wish I could have the old person back, but it's not happening. I guess sometimes when people aren't happy with their life, they punish everyone around them.

              Make dua sister, cause Allah can fix everything that's bothering us, we should both make lots of dua.

              I'm also sorry, cause I didn't mean to make this thread about me. I will keep you in my duas. Please keep me in urs.

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