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  • Breastfeeding and modesty

    Assalamu Alaikum

    Is it ok for a woman to breastfeed her child while her younger brother(s) are in the same room? They are 22 and 24. The child is being covered by her scarf or other garment.

    I find this lack of modesty. Would appreciate some evidence for and against please

  • #2
    Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

    :wswrwb:

    It's good to have haya and do it in private. :insha:

    1. It is natural for you to have hayā' and not want to expose yourself in front of your father-in-law. It is not appropriate for your husband to require you to breastfeed in front of your father-in-law or to become upset due to your hayā'. Consider the following hadīth by Imām Bukhārī:

    حدثناعبد الله بن يوسف قال أخبرنا مالك عن أنس عن ابن شهاب عن سالم بن عبد الله عن أبيه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم مر على رجل من الأنصار وهو يعظ أخاه في الحياء فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم دعه فإن الحياء من الإيمان (صحيح البخاري، كتاب الإيمان، باب الحياء من الإيمان: 1/18؛ قديمي)
    The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم passed by an Ansārī man who has admonishing his brother regarding [having too much] modesty. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "Leave him. Verily, modesty is [a part of] īmān.

    Breastfeeding only takes a few minutes and by you doing it in private, it cannot be considered as depriving your in-laws of their grandchild. Eventually, your husband and in-laws will realize that you are not depriving them of their grandchild by just breastfeeding in private.

    Taking into consideration the fitnā prevalent nowadays as evident per the queries we receive, we highly discourage you to expose yourself in front of your father-in-law.


    AskImam
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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    • #3
      Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

      Originally posted by click View Post
      Assalamu Alaikum

      Is it ok for a woman to breastfeed her child while her younger brother(s) are in the same room? They are 22 and 24. The child is being covered by her scarf or other garment.
      I find this lack of modesty. Would appreciate some evidence for and against please
      We all like to eat our food, in calm, closed places. Same applies to infants. Feeding and place should match. And its possible, the mother might give too much attention to others around her, and forget the child. Its also possible, the covering might slip, while handling the child, exposing the awrah.

      When its feeding time, Modest brothers step out of room or turn away. The sister can teach her brothers some adab.

      Jazakallaahu Khairan

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      • #4
        Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

        It is not always possible to breastfeed in private, for example when you are out. Theres nothing worse than a hungry, screaming baby and the only way out is to breastfeed even in public if no secluded place can be found. However make sure that you are well covered.
        “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


        Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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        • #5
          Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

          ↑I'm sure you can feed the baby from a bottle feeder?
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

            Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
            ↑I'm sure you can feed the baby from a bottle feeder?
            That's not breast feeding then it is

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

              islamqa.info/en/ref/82994

              Sometimes you just dont have options. If you're at home I'm sure they can go elsewhere or the woman elsewhere. When my baby was 3months old we had to travel 37hours. 3 flights plus short stop overs. It's impossible to pump enough milk and to keep it fresh that long. Can't just give formula the entire time and not feed. Women would know why. Anyway, I wore a khimar and an abaya with a zip. Even if i go visit someone that is how i feed because there is still a chance someone might evidently walk passed, unless we're only women then i would just cover with a light blanket so its more modest.

              The link explains what can be uncovered in front of male mahram. Breasts is not on the list.

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              • #8
                Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

                Originally posted by x--x View Post
                That's not breast feeding then it is
                it is breast milk which is extracted, one way of solving the problem but the baby might not like/be adjusted to the bottle teet
                My ♥ only lets الله‎ in
                ‘O Allah, forgive me, have mercy upon me, guide me, give me health and grant me sustenance.’
                “Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

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                • #9
                  Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

                  Originally posted by x--x View Post
                  That's not breast feeding then it is
                  I'm sure women can pump it and feed from a feeder?
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

                    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                    I'm sure women can pump it and feed from a feeder?
                    Some babies will reject the bottle as they prefer the breast, other babies reject being breast fed and prefer the bottle. Babies can be demanding and sometimes there's not much that can be done

                    As for the original question, yes it seems a bit weird for mature brothers to be in the same room unless its a big room and they aren't even aware of baby being breast fed. Otherwise as another sister mentionee wearing a large khimar would be modest

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                    • #11
                      Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

                      Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                      I'm sure women can pump it and feed from a feeder?
                      It's easier said than done. The body produces enough milk for the baby which it feeds. So, when I feed my child he/she drinks the milk, then I come along with a pump and I'd be lucky to get out 30ml. That would be on a good day. Or, I pump then feed my baby and the baby doesn't get milk because the milk was taken out and new milk was not produced and you're left with a crying baby because you want to keep the milk for when you go out.
                      So unless you regularly pump and take extra milk there isn't any extra milk to be putting into bottles.

                      Then comes the problem if you do get the milk out it can only be out of the fridge 6 hours, if its a hot day even less. And if you feed the baby from the bottle it means your baby skipped a feed from the *normal methods* but the body still produced milk for that feed. So the milk was not taken from the mother and that can lead to problems such as clogged milk ducts or mastitis (painful, don't want this happening). So that means you need to either feed the baby or pump it out to avoid the problem.

                      Not so simple now is it....
                      Besides, not everyone owns a pump... Don't know about in the UK but here it easily costs AU$150. That's not small money.

                      But OP asked about breastfeeding in front of younger brothers in the same room... It's simple enough just to go to another room, or the brothers to go to another room and if for some reason there is only one room they can go outside, and if they can't do that then I guess turn to a corner and cover yourself and the brothers turn to the other corner and mind their own business....
                      It takes about 15-30 minutes usually if its a full feed. Some babies are faster than others. Also depends on the age of the baby. So really, everyone can just turn away from each other if it's really needed.

                      But when out and there aren't feeding places (like an airport terminal) a khimar and abaya is great. And no, the toilet isn't an option because standing and holding a baby for that long to feed is not practical. I personally don't have the strength for that.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

                        It is not always possible to feed baby at a convenient time/place. Most breastfed babies dont take to the bottle and will scream like hell if not fed when hungry. Obviously if there is a secluded place then that is best. But when non is available then the only way out is to feed baby whereever you are and that does not, and I repeat, does not, mean exposing one's self. A mother can do it discretely.
                        “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


                        Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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                        • #13
                          Re: Breastfeeding and modesty

                          Sometimes the child doesnt accept milk from a bottle because they are not used to it.
                          Plus if the brother cannot see because the scarf is covering her, whats the problem?
                          You are her younger brother not like an older uncle
                          O you who have believed, if you obey those who disbelieve, they will turn you back on your heels, and you will [then] become losers.

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                          • #14
                            Publc Breastfeeding

                            am i wrong to say this?

                            i am at a children's party and there is a lady breast feeding her kid nonchalantly. there are kids everywhere and this lady is half exposing herself. no damn shame. its like she wants someone to say something so she could bring about a lawsuit. nasty. eww, talking to a cashier while feeding. they should boot her to the streets. it would be one thing to sit in one place, but she is walking in circle everywhere. nasty.


                            /vent
                            Last edited by Aloo; 29-10-13, 01:37 AM.
                            لآ اِلَهَ اِلّا اللّهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُوُل اللّهِ

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                            • #15
                              Re: disgusting slob

                              from the title to the description I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!...especially at the " its like she wants someone to say something so she could bring about a lawsuit"

                              I
                              know so wrong of me
                              Last edited by *sheba*; 29-10-13, 02:44 AM.
                              O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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