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Adopting instead of having kids

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  • HmInh
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by alarmbells View Post
    I know, I mean in Asiya's post - you quoted it right I was just saying I think she made a typo.
    Ooooh okay. Sorry!
    Man... this has all blown out of proportion!

    Leave a comment:


  • alarmbells
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by HmInh View Post
    Asiya, I'm not changing anything to suit myself. I'm not trying to be dishonest, at best we're both miscommunicating our ideas.
    I know, I mean in Asiya's post - you quoted it right I was just saying I think she made a typo.

    Leave a comment:


  • n_n_n
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
    As the prophet :saw: said to the sahaba when he found them practising azl "why would any of u do that ! Dont u know Allah creates in the wombs whom he wills ?" azl, pills or whatever, u have no control over it, and even if u agree no kids for x years what if u get pregnant anyway and the other says u agreed no kids, now its abort or talaq...i know more than a few this has happened to. The muslim seeks to have children to strengthen the ummah, to raise them on deen to make rasoolAllah :saw:lead the ummah with the greatest number on judgement day, life is not for dunya studies an chillin. People plan but Allah ta ala is the one in control of all matters,so be ready dont think u have any control over the matter- u may be blessed with children, and u may not, but if they come be greatful it is a blessing of marriage not a burden.
    So basically you are saying "since no contraception works 100%, why even bother trying, ever?" Is that the gist of it or did I misunderstand?

    Leave a comment:


  • n_n_n
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by ~Salma~ View Post
    R.Aisha is there a reason why you don't want your own? I'm personally terrified of pregnancy/giving birth so I am a lil .

    There are matters that isn't within our control, children are decreed by Allah so only Allah knows what is written for you.

    What kind of children are you looking into adopting, a new born or a toddler, teenager? Maybe your scared of raising babies? No sleep, no long showers, life is over?

    Just wondering, cause my sister has a baby and unless her husband is home she won't shower, because her baby is a light sleeper and will cry her eyes off demanding she holds her. Sometimes I visit her so she can take a long shower..
    Yes, your sister can take a shower. No baby ever died of crying. Tell your sister to buckle up, put the baby in the crib and close the bathroom door. We've all been there.

    Leave a comment:


  • HmInh
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by alarmbells View Post
    That looks like it was a typo. The sentence should have read "A woman may choose not to stay with an infertile husband, ..."
    Asiya, I'm not changing anything to suit myself. I'm not trying to be dishonest, at best we're both miscommunicating our ideas.

    Leave a comment:


  • alarmbells
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by HmInh View Post
    You said, "A woman may not choose to stay with an infertile husband."
    I can't directly quote you because I'm on my phone.
    That looks like it was a typo. The sentence should have read "A woman may choose not to stay with an infertile husband, ..."

    Leave a comment:


  • *asiya*
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    A mans infertility is a valid reason for a woman to divorce if she chooses to. You changed that to; am I saying she should leave him, which is something else. a man married can marry another woman if he finds out after marriage that his wife is infertile,but a woman doesnt have that choice so she can divorce if she chooses.

    Leave a comment:


  • HmInh
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    You said, "A woman may not choose to stay with an infertile husband."
    I can't directly quote you because I'm on my phone.

    Leave a comment:


  • *asiya*
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    There is nothing in my posts that insinuates any of those things.

    Leave a comment:


  • HmInh
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
    No one said its only about children but we seek to have them to please Allah ta ala and rasoolAllah :saw: tubes can be untied, Allah ta ala gave children to women who were past menses, that is easy for. Allah ta ala. men can marry other women, infertilie men may have issues to. A woman may not choose to stay with an infertile husband,and he may marry a woman in same situation there are many options. We leave it with Allah ta ala who is in control of what is created in the wombs.
    Asiya, I want you to tell me where women can't stay with husbands who can't have children or vice versa.
    Are you saying if a man finds out his wife can't have children, he has to leave her? Or if a woman finds out her husband can't give her children she needs o leave him?
    Where's the sense in that?

    Leave a comment:


  • *aisha*
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
    No one said its only about children but we seek to have them to please Allah ta ala and rasoolAllah :saw: tubes can be untied, Allah ta ala gave children to women who were past menses, that is easy for. Allah ta ala. men can marry other women, infertilie men may have issues to. A woman may not choose to stay with an infertile husband,and he may marry a woman in same situation there are many options. We leave it with Allah ta ala who is in control of what is created in the wombs.
    So she can get married?

    Leave a comment:


  • *asiya*
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by *Aisha View Post
    If mariage is only about kids then what would you say to a convert who before joining islam tied her tubes a long time ago and cannot afford to get them put back to normal,,can she get married to a muslim man or should she stay single forever??
    No one said its only about children but we seek to have them to please Allah ta ala and rasoolAllah :saw: tubes can be untied, Allah ta ala gave children to women who were past menses, that is easy for. Allah ta ala. men can marry other women, infertilie men may have issues to. A woman may not choose to stay with an infertile husband,and he may marry a woman in same situation there are many options. We leave it with Allah ta ala who is in control of what is created in the wombs.

    Leave a comment:


  • HmInh
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
    As the prophet :saw: said to the sahaba when he found them practising azl "why would any of u do that ! Dont u know Allah creates in the wombs whom he wills ?" azl, pills or whatever, u have no control over it, and even if u agree no kids for x years what if u get pregnant anyway and the other says u agreed no kids, now its abort or talaq...i know more than a few this has happened to. The muslim seeks to have children to strengthen the ummah, to raise them on deen to make rasoolAllah :saw:lead the ummah with the greatest number on judgement day,we make duaa everytime a man is intimate with his wife seeking protection for any child granted by Allah by their union in marriage. life is not for dunya studies an chillin. People plan but Allah ta ala is the one in control of all matters,so be ready dont think u have any control over the matter- u may be blessed with children, and u may not, but if they come be greatful it is a blessing of marriage not a burden.
    I've said this so many times...
    If I use birth control... And I STILL manage to get pregnant... Then I will raise the child. I'm not going to do anything haram.
    Anyways. I'm sorry, I'm tired of having to explain something that is not haraam.

    Leave a comment:


  • ~Salma~
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    R.Aisha is there a reason why you don't want your own? I'm personally terrified of pregnancy/giving birth so I am a lil .

    There are matters that isn't within our control, children are decreed by Allah so only Allah knows what is written for you.

    What kind of children are you looking into adopting, a new born or a toddler, teenager? Maybe your scared of raising babies? No sleep, no long showers, life is over?

    Just wondering, cause my sister has a baby and unless her husband is home she won't shower, because her baby is a light sleeper and will cry her eyes off demanding she holds her. Sometimes I visit her so she can take a long shower..

    Leave a comment:


  • *aisha*
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    If mariage is only about kids then what would you say to a convert who before joining islam tied her tubes a long time ago and cannot afford to get them put back to normal,,can she get married to a muslim man or should she stay single forever??

    Leave a comment:

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