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Adopting instead of having kids

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  • Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    A mans infertility is a valid reason for a woman to divorce if she chooses to. You changed that to; am I saying she should leave him, which is something else. a man married can marry another woman if he finds out after marriage that his wife is infertile,but a woman doesnt have that choice so she can divorce if she chooses.
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet :saw: said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

    muslim

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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    • Re: Adopting instead of having kids

      Originally posted by HmInh View Post
      You said, "A woman may not choose to stay with an infertile husband."
      I can't directly quote you because I'm on my phone.
      That looks like it was a typo. The sentence should have read "A woman may choose not to stay with an infertile husband, ..."
      I was like Laughing Out Out Out Out Out Out Out Loud.

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      • Re: Adopting instead of having kids

        Originally posted by alarmbells View Post
        That looks like it was a typo. The sentence should have read "A woman may choose not to stay with an infertile husband, ..."
        Asiya, I'm not changing anything to suit myself. I'm not trying to be dishonest, at best we're both miscommunicating our ideas.

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        • Re: Adopting instead of having kids

          Originally posted by ~Salma~ View Post
          R.Aisha is there a reason why you don't want your own? I'm personally terrified of pregnancy/giving birth so I am a lil .

          There are matters that isn't within our control, children are decreed by Allah so only Allah knows what is written for you.

          What kind of children are you looking into adopting, a new born or a toddler, teenager? Maybe your scared of raising babies? No sleep, no long showers, life is over?

          Just wondering, cause my sister has a baby and unless her husband is home she won't shower, because her baby is a light sleeper and will cry her eyes off demanding she holds her. Sometimes I visit her so she can take a long shower..
          Yes, your sister can take a shower. No baby ever died of crying. Tell your sister to buckle up, put the baby in the crib and close the bathroom door. We've all been there.

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          • Re: Adopting instead of having kids

            Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
            As the prophet :saw: said to the sahaba when he found them practising azl "why would any of u do that ! Dont u know Allah creates in the wombs whom he wills ?" azl, pills or whatever, u have no control over it, and even if u agree no kids for x years what if u get pregnant anyway and the other says u agreed no kids, now its abort or talaq...i know more than a few this has happened to. The muslim seeks to have children to strengthen the ummah, to raise them on deen to make rasoolAllah :saw:lead the ummah with the greatest number on judgement day, life is not for dunya studies an chillin. People plan but Allah ta ala is the one in control of all matters,so be ready dont think u have any control over the matter- u may be blessed with children, and u may not, but if they come be greatful it is a blessing of marriage not a burden.
            So basically you are saying "since no contraception works 100%, why even bother trying, ever?" Is that the gist of it or did I misunderstand?

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            • Re: Adopting instead of having kids

              Originally posted by HmInh View Post
              Asiya, I'm not changing anything to suit myself. I'm not trying to be dishonest, at best we're both miscommunicating our ideas.
              I know, I mean in Asiya's post - you quoted it right I was just saying I think she made a typo.
              I was like Laughing Out Out Out Out Out Out Out Loud.

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              • Re: Adopting instead of having kids

                Originally posted by alarmbells View Post
                I know, I mean in Asiya's post - you quoted it right I was just saying I think she made a typo.
                Ooooh okay. Sorry!
                Man... this has all blown out of proportion!

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