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Adopting instead of having kids

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  • HmInh
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Are you sure about that? No one is trying to claim to be their biological parent, but why wouldn't you treat them like your own children?
    I don't know. I wouldn't care about the name, or the wealth. Also, what if the child doesn't know who they're father was?

    Leave a comment:


  • .Hajar.
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    islamically you cannot adopt, at least not the american way, the correct term is fostering- you can take care of a child's needs, provide him with shelter if you must, treat him with love and kindness and take good care of him until he is able to support himself

    Originally posted by HmInh View Post
    What do you mean by your last statement? Who's kids would they be if you hadn't taken care of them because their biological parents didn't want them.
    Some people just don't want to go through the process of having children. I, myself, don't like the idea of having kids but I would definitively adopt. Some people just don't have the urge to have their own children. :P
    but you can't claim to be his parent, he don't inherit your name or your wealth, etc.

    Leave a comment:


  • inprogress
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
    i think our sister means some men and women dont want to marry people with children from previous marriages, so convincing ppl to adopt is going to be even more difficult as they not only have to accept a child of other parents, but they have to open themselves to total scrutinisation from government authorities. One problem is in the uk that you can also be adopting children who have living parents and who were taken from them by social services, so thats a whole other can of worms.
    Interesting point. I am beginning to consider fostering a child, but it did come into my mind that taking on another child will probably put off some people for marriage.

    I never really thought very much about the Islamic implications of eventually adopting a child who was taken away because their parents couldn't care for them. Is it acceptable to do that if they give up their children willingly, unwillingly?
    Last edited by inprogress; 10-11-12, 10:06 PM.

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  • |Sister|
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by R.Aisha View Post
    Not everyone has those feelings or wants the experience of pregnancy and childbirth.
    If I somehow develop those feeling, I'll have kids (which I highhhhly doubt). I was asking if it was permissible to adopt.
    I agree with you and have often shared these feelings, but remember that our Prophet(saw) told us to birth many children, because he will be proud of our large numbers on al-Qiyama. There is nothing preventing you from birthing children and adopting them except money and the fear of pain, correct? Also remember that:

    Narrated 'Aisha: (the wife of the Prophet) Allah's Apostle said, "No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn."

    Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that."

    (Sahih bukhari, book#70#533 and #544)

    Originally posted by HmInh View Post
    What do you mean by your last statement? Who's kids would they be if you hadn't taken care of them because their biological parents didn't want them.
    Some people just don't want to go through the process of having children. I, myself, don't like the idea of having kids but I would definitively adopt. Some people just don't have the urge to have their own children. :P
    In Islam, you cannot call anyone else's child your own. It is strictly forbidden to call a child after anyone but his biological father. If you adopt a boy and do not breast feed him, then he is not related to you and is able to marry your biological daughters, or even yourself if you wanted to. This applies to female children too, of course. IF you adopt a child and you do breast feed them, the become "Milk children" and are your mahram and also mahram to your entire family... but you still cannot call them after your husband's name, because they are not from his lineage and never will be.

    Our Prophet(saw) was an orphan and encouraged believers to raise and marry orphans. Umm Sa'id bint Murra al-Fihri related from her father that the Prophet (saws) said: "I, and the guardian of an orphan, will be in the Garden like these two." (He then put His two fingers together, side by side) [bukhari 133]

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  • *asiya*
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by MoMo. View Post
    What are you saying?
    i think our sister means some men and women dont want to marry people with children from previous marriages, so convincing ppl to adopt is going to be even more difficult as they not only have to accept a child of other parents, but they have to open themselves to total scrutinisation from government authorities. One problem is in the uk that you can also be adopting children who have living parents and who were taken from them by social services, so thats a whole other can of worms.

    Leave a comment:


  • Massilia
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by MoMo. View Post
    What are you saying?
    Im saying it is tough to have this condition on the marriage contract. Single parents have trouble finding a spouse when they have their "own" children, so an adopted one i highly doubt although it can happen.

    I prefer to adopt first at all times

    Leave a comment:


  • cooldog
    replied
    R we as muslims allowed to do this?

    Leave a comment:


  • HmInh
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by [email protected] View Post
    am sorry but you're willing to take pills to make you lactate but wouldn't go thru producing milk the natural way? some of these pills are known to have side effects..

    have you thought about fostering orphans? adopting a child won't really make them your own you know
    What do you mean by your last statement? Who's kids would they be if you hadn't taken care of them because their biological parents didn't want them.
    Some people just don't want to go through the process of having children. I, myself, don't like the idea of having kids but I would definitively adopt. Some people just don't have the urge to have their own children. :P

    Leave a comment:


  • .Hajar.
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    am sorry but you're willing to take pills to make you lactate but wouldn't go thru producing milk the natural way? some of these pills are known to have side effects..

    have you thought about fostering orphans? adopting a child won't really make them your own you know

    Leave a comment:


  • MoMo.
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by inprogress View Post
    If you adopt you can.
    By have a kid, i meant bear one, not just have one by you side.

    Leave a comment:


  • MoMo.
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by Massilia View Post
    Nope, hence the adoption option! Well not to be negative or what, but since some people have trouble accepting blood children, an adopted one..............allow me to be very sceptical
    What are you saying?

    Leave a comment:


  • inprogress
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by MoMo. View Post
    I presumed she was talking about after marriage because you can't really have a kid when you are single.
    If you adopt you can.

    Leave a comment:


  • Massilia
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by MoMo. View Post
    I presumed she was talking about after marriage because you can't really have a kid when you are single.
    Nope, hence the adoption option! Well not to be negative or what, but since some people have trouble accepting blood children, an adopted one..............allow me to be very sceptical

    Leave a comment:


  • MoMo.
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    Originally posted by Massilia View Post
    She doesn't have to be married to adopt, at least this is what i have been told. Im thinking the same even if my mum is going to kill me ever after.

    Adoption is so abandoned, then you have people crying over gays adopting without doing their duty towardds their brethren
    I presumed she was talking about after marriage because you can't really have a kid when you are single.

    Leave a comment:


  • Massilia
    replied
    Re: Adopting instead of having kids

    She doesn't have to be married to adopt, at least this is what i have been told. Im thinking the same even if my mum is going to kill me ever after.

    Adoption is so abandoned, then you have people crying over gays adopting without doing their duty towardds their brethren

    Leave a comment:

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