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City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

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  • Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

    Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
    My family was not heavily connected to the mosques that I worked in. They didn't get me in the door. I worked in the mosques in forest gate. My family worked in the mosques in Ilford.

    There was no mutual connections between the two mosques. My involvement started after attending a few programs (on my own), attending the classes in the mosques and then hearing about the work that they do and getting involved (again, mostly on my own).

    I do recall sending you a long list of classes in the local area. The reason why I didn't forward the precise details of the actual mosques that I worked in, was because I was working there in my late teens (about 10years ago now), nor do I no longer live in London. So, I have no idea what is going on there today.
    you didnt send me anything. you said your mother worked there too.
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet :saw: said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

    muslim

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

    Comment


    • Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

      Originally posted by Vishnu View Post
      You should move to a Muslim area if you could, that would let you make friends with neighbors at the least
      i know youre going to find this hard to believe but i live in an area swarming with muslims, there are two muslim families right opposite my house. three more down the street two doors away. everywhere i look there are muslims, there are jamaican muslims, black english muslims, indian pakistani, gujarati muslims, white english muslims, polish muslims, bosnian muslims, afghans, mixed race, somali, turkish,and this is all just in my local area.

      i cant even get to know my husbands best friends wives, i sent gifts, i invited them for dinner, i invited them for cups of tea, i babysat their kids they didnt even stop for a cup of tea before or after they just dropped the kid picked him up and went. i left my number with so many sisters, but no one called.i called those who said call me, but they never called back. people say oh we must do this or that, but they never say when. its just empty words. i have had the same number for 4 years in case someone ever called.

      as was said earlier by FR there is a massive culture difference between london and where i come from. we welcome people, we speak to our neighbors, we invite strangers to our homes i saw a sister standing on the street and so i stopped to say salam, she said she had half an hour to wait for her husband i said come on lets go get some coffee, so we did. other sisters i had met on the street for just a few minutes came over from France to stay with me at my home. back home my phone number was on the local takeaway shop board for the brothers to give to any new brother they met to give to his wife so she wouldnt feel alone in a new place. since i have been in london i have invited sisters i have only known online who are in other countries or cities to come and stay with me, or to go out sightseeing shopping etc.

      this is how it is for me as a muslim, even before islam this is how it is for me as a human being. people from all around the world are passing through, and we would think nothing of giving someone a bed for the night, or even a spare room for the year, or just something simple like inviting ppl for dinner. even when i have been over to france and stayed at my fathers house, people in supermarkets when they see that you are not french they invite you for dinner. complete strangers give you their phone number and adress and say please come over!

      my father has loads of friends in France and he doesn't speak a word of french, past merci and oui. they speak barely a word of English, but they come over play boules, eat BBQ together, communicate with crazy hand gestures :) lol its so nice. but its a whole different world to London. the culture and attitude of those in london and the Europeans is just totally different. and i can see there is no answer, no solution, their culture wont change. i`ll just have to learn to deal with the isolation.

      anyway khalass im done with embarrassing myself begging my sisters for assistance. strange how we can all claim to care so much for our sisters abroad, but cant care about people on our own doorsteps. its a funny old world.

      many thanks to all who advised. its much appreciated. May Allah guide us all amin.
      Last edited by *asiya*; 09-10-13, 03:59 PM.
      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

      The Prophet :saw: said:

      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

      muslim

      Narrated 'Abdullah:

      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

      Comment


      • Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

        Originally posted by مسلمة View Post
        Choosing to do things alone is different to having to do them alone. When I was younger I used to ask my friends to come to Islamic events but I didn't rely on them and chose to go alone if they didn't come. Now I would have to go alone because there isn't really anyone to even ask, and the idea isn't so appealing anymore.

        There are no Islamic events on my doorstep, well some sisters from the local masjid do have their own halaqah in Urdu (which I don't understand) and it seems you only get to know about it if you are part of the 'in crowd' (the same race as the masjid owners or related/married to one of them).

        I can travel around an hour alone and go to an Islamic event, but I'd rather stay at home. Going to eid salah is depressing enough as it is, having to go alone and watch all the families and friends who are there together. Yes I have family, but the men will pray in the local masjid and most of the women think it's something revolutionary or strange for a woman to go to the prayer.
        :there: :love:


        i can totally relate. Allah help us all amin, what a terribly sad state of affairs.
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

        muslim

        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

        Comment


        • Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

          Originally posted by neelu View Post
          I think the question is not "what do people do?" in London because most of the answers are not applicable (eg people busy with children or children related social activities, people in college or work etc etc). The real question is "how does someone go about establishing friendships in a city like London without prior connections through family/school etc"?

          In my case, if I exclude the people I knew through school/work/family then I can say I met people through dawah over the years. Initially I was not practising but just starting to take an interest in the deen. Some people put up posters either at halal meat shops or takeaways about talks on certain Islam related issues being held at a community centre (I strongly feel the community centre has been crucial in introducing me to new people). So I attended a couple of sisters talks (in English) which were about the ummah's political situation and at the end, we were asked if we wanted to attend more talks etc to pass on our email addresses and a couple of sisters got in touch with me that way. Eventually we developed a difference of opinion on some things over the years and have lost touch since then but it was a start.

          Then on ummahchat (yes it was THAT long ago), I got talking to a brother about certain Islamic issues and he wanted to encourage me to get involved in HT. He found out that I live outside London but could get to London, so he passed on the contact details of his friend's wife to put me in touch with a sister. That sister was about to go abroad for some months so she gave me the number of another sister who invited me round for a cup of tea and a chat and then introduced me to another sister at her house and so on. I will admit though, the sisters were so busy with kids and other responsibilities that most of my interaction with them was to do with attending talks but we didn't get to talk socially much. I think they mostly felt they couldn't relate to me cos' I wasn't busy with kids or else they felt their time was so taken up by kids and then deeni stuff that it left little room for social visits.... but hey it was some interaction that did not come about through school/work/family or by default from being part of the Pakistani community.

          Down south, I've never made friends through the masjids, regardless of how many times I've visited them. In London, it's the norm to not approach people you don't know so if anything, groups of sisters who already know each other go to the masjid (as opposed to individual sisters looking to make friends introducing themselves). Up north on the other hand, one masjid I went to was very different (northerners have a reputation for being more sociable anyway)- generally in the town (even among non Muslims as well) it wasn't seen as strange or suspicious to approach someone you don't know. So when I lived up north, I did meet people through the masjid, a few of the people there I hadn't met before but they invited me to their house and that sort of thing. One time I was walking down the street and a random African sister invited me to iftar at her place- I tend not to see that sort of thing happen down south (I'd never seen the sister before) and we became friends.

          I'll tell you an anecdote: one time a sister who was raised in Sheffield got married and moved to her in laws house down south. One time driving on her way to work, her car broke down and she stood by the side of the road. I think eventually she called some breakdown service and they said they'd be there in half an hour or an hour but she said that she was surprised that no one stopped to help or ask if she was okay cos' when she used to live in Sheffield, that's what people did. Over here, people avoid connecting with those they aren't already acquainted with through the usual channels (college, family etc)- even on the tube people generally avoid eye contact with strangers and even avoid smiling at anyone.
          :jkk:

          yes i totally agree hence i have been asking how did ppl meet other sisters. the language issue, the ethnic divides and cultural practises in the masjids is a huge problem too.

          my husband can attend the masjids but he cant understand anything being said in any of them, even being a fluent arabic speaker doesnt help anything. he came home after one jummah and said "they spoke english today" i said masha Allah alhamdulillah! how come? he said oh no its was just for a few minutes to ask for money before we left. he said there are a massive amount of non urdu speakers in the masjid. its not only him.

          think FR hit the nail on the head when she said its the cultural difference between londoners and elsewhere.
          "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

          The Prophet :saw: said:

          "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

          muslim

          Narrated 'Abdullah:

          The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


          "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

          By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

          [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

          Comment


          • Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

            Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
            what a terribly sad state of affairs.
            Sums up this thread, and us as Muslims.

            We talk about dawah so passionately, yet we can't hold onto the people we have.

            Comment

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