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  • City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

    :salams is as the title says, any ideas for dealing with living in the city ? Im having a really hard time dealing with city life, and i dont have any family, freinds, nor children here, and I dont like shopping or eating out ( nor anything involving going to a masjid, so something that doesnt involve any of those things )

    So I would like some ideas as to what women do with themselves when living in a city insha Allah as most activities seem to involve moving from one box to another box ie: house to car, to shop. house to someone elses house, house to train/bus to museum etc.


    :jkk: amin
    Last edited by *asiya*; 03-11-12, 09:00 PM.
    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

    The Prophet :saw: said:

    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

    muslim

    Narrated 'Abdullah:

    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]


  • #2
    Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

    Have u thought of joining a class either art class or maybe arabic u get me something so then u could meet new people also.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

      Originally posted by Marina-Aisha View Post
      Have u thought of joining a class either art class or maybe arabic u get me something so then u could meet new people also.
      :jkk: tried that kind of thing for the past 3 years, but city ppl in my experience arent at all freindly. so im just looking for something to do on my own now that perferably doesnt involve being indoors.
      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

      The Prophet :saw: said:

      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

      muslim

      Narrated 'Abdullah:

      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

        Are you searching for things to do outdoors?
        Nothing is impossible with Allah

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

          Find a nice trail in your city and go on walks and maybe take some pictures

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

            i wouldnt advise doing nothing outdoors on your own in a city
            seriously be careful

            if u have to do something outdoors then photography and go somewhere busy that has families there


            Comment


            • #7
              Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

              this won't help, but those situations depress the hell out of me, I can never be away from family... otherwise I would go depressed for sure.
              ╰☆╮The Qu'ran is the Fuel of the Muslim's Heart.╰☆╮

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

                Originally posted by Abu Protein View Post
                this won't help, but those situations depress the hell out of me, I can never be away from family... otherwise I would go depressed for sure.
                Im finding it very difficult. seems most activities in the cities revolve around knowing other ppl or being indoors. So thought id ask what other ppl do with themselves.
                "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                The Prophet :saw: said:

                "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                muslim

                Narrated 'Abdullah:

                The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

                  Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
                  :salams is as the title says, any ideas for dealing with living in the city ? Im having a really hard time dealing with city life, and i dont have any family, freinds, nor children here, and I dont like shopping or eating out ( nor anything involving going to a masjid, so something that doesnt involve any of those things )

                  So I would like some ideas as to what women do with themselves when living in a city insha Allah as most activities seem to involve moving from one box to another box ie: house to car, to shop. house to someone elses house, house to train/bus to museum etc.


                  :jkk: amin
                  Wailaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakathu,

                  What part of London do you reside in?

                  I second the fact that a lot of city people are miserable people, but there are a lot of good friendly people as well.

                  If you let us know which part of London you live in, we will be in a better position to help inshAllah.

                  If you are really looking for help to get to know people and the area, then give us the details, or post in the sisters forum and they should be able to help inshAllah.

                  Your not alone with city life. London is a very robotic system type of city, everyone you see is in a hurry, and the barakah in our time is very very little. City life, esp London is generally very hectic. But there are still some very good things you can do, islamic and non islamic.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

                    If you want sweetie you can hang out with me : )
                    "Try to distance yourself from everything that causes you worry and sadness, so that you may always live with peace of mind and an open and tranquil heart, seeking Allah and His worship and working on your worldly and otherworldly matters, for if you try this, you will find rest.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

                      if anyone who lives in a city can just give me some examples please of just in general how city folk spend their days insha Allah that would be best, i really cant bear being indoors all the time its driving me nuts, far from passing quickly the time is passing, the days are actually passing so slowly. There are probably loads of things to do, but i just cant think of any because im not used to living in a place like this.
                      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                      The Prophet :saw: said:

                      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                      muslim

                      Narrated 'Abdullah:

                      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

                        Originally posted by Green786 View Post
                        If you want sweetie you can hang out with me : )
                        or me : )

                        It's just the way people are in London, the culture in this city isn't very open, people are just like that. If you're on the tube for example and you smile at someone, they think you're a bit loopy. There's not much i can advise except, if possible, meeting sisters in different areas and maybe going further into different parts of the city. My cousin in law moved from Sheffield and does find it lonely here, not that we intentionally don't hang out or anything but i think we're so consumed and understanding of fellow londoners and make excuses for eachother coz we know that we're busy. Not that non-Londoners arent but this is natural to some Londoners which makes it difficult for non-Londoners to understand.

                        We come across as rude but we're not, sometimes we don't know because it's just the way things are done here. That's why outside londoners find it very lonely, isolating here but to us it's just life, and we're so used to it. Similarly when i went to Surrey once, people were strangely open/kind same up north and i found it nosey. But it's just a cultural thing.

                        Maybe try to adjust if you can and if you're going to be living here for longer than intended then perhaps you could consider adapting to this culture? What do you think?

                        لا تفكر كثيرا
                        بل استغفر كثيرا

                        -------------------------------------------------------
                        The children need your prayers more than anyone else
                        -------------------------------------------------------
                        www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

                          Originally posted by F_R View Post
                          or me : )

                          It's just the way people are in London, the culture in this city isn't very open, people are just like that. If you're on the tube for example and you smile at someone, they think you're a bit loopy. There's not much i can advise except, if possible, meeting sisters in different areas and maybe going further into different parts of the city. My cousin in law moved from Sheffield and does find it lonely here, not that we intentionally don't hang out or anything but i think we're so consumed and understanding of fellow londoners and make excuses for eachother coz we know that we're busy. Not that non-Londoners arent but this is natural to some Londoners which makes it difficult for non-Londoners to understand.

                          We come across as rude but we're not, sometimes we don't know because it's just the way things are done here. That's why outside londoners find it very lonely, isolating here but to us it's just life, and we're so used to it. Similarly when i went to Surrey once, people were strangely open/kind same up north and i found it nosey. But it's just a cultural thing.

                          Maybe try to adjust if you can and if you're going to be living here for longer than intended then perhaps you could consider adapting to this culture? What do you think?
                          well adapting to the "culture "here what im trying to, i tried shopping in ikea, tx max, i even went to argos, and i tried going to chicken cottage a few times, but i tired of that as its really not my thing. I dont exactly know what the halal english culture entails, and being too busy for other ppl would involve me having something to do, so what is it everyone is so busy with ? this is what i am trying to fathom, and i honestly have no clue.

                          im not interested in becoming cold and unfreindly and too busy for others though. Although isolation has become my pastime, i refuse to give up smiling at ppl even if they do think im nuts.
                          Last edited by *asiya*; 03-11-12, 11:13 PM.
                          "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                          The Prophet :saw: said:

                          "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                          muslim

                          Narrated 'Abdullah:

                          The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                          "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                          By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                          [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

                            Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
                            well adapting to the "culture "here what im trying to, i tried shopping in ikea, tx max, i even went to argos, and i tried going to chicken cottage a few times, but i tired of that as its really not my thing. I dont exactly know what the halal english culture entails, and being too busy for other ppl would involve me having something to do, so what is it everyone is so busy with ? this is what i am trying to fathom, and i honestly have no clue.

                            im not interested in becoming cold and unfreindly and too busy for others though. Although isolation has become my pastime, i refuse to give up smiling at ppl even if they do think im nuts.
                            Busy yourself with the Quran inshaAllah

                            لا تفكر كثيرا
                            بل استغفر كثيرا

                            -------------------------------------------------------
                            The children need your prayers more than anyone else
                            -------------------------------------------------------
                            www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: City Life - What do people do with themselves ?

                              Us urbanised folk have become accostomed to our 'boxes'. Time that wasn't spent at home or college or work was spent at other friends houses or shopping or eating out mostly or sometimes meeting up in cafes (the quality of cafes can really vary hugely). On occassion there might be talks organised by a uni isoc so I used to go and see those sometimes. I'm lucky that my town has a couple of decent parks and also the canal and river running through them. I used to go for walks down there occassionally with my dad and sometimes we'd see a family of ducks or swans swimming past.

                              There are the well known parks that get very busy in the summer with people having picnics or kids playing football or tennis etc, but also when I've walked along the canal tow path, i've also found some lesser known places like the local moor which is still a public space with the occassional dog walker or fisherman doing fishing there, or occassional remote control plane enthusiast. I also found out quite by accident that on Wednesday afternoons, this guy would turn up to exercise his pet falcon, let him fly around stretch his wings for a while, practise his natural hunting skills and it was magnificent to watch. I've lived here my whole life and didn't know about the moor until my mid 20s.

                              I live just outside London though in the home counties, so it's not as congested and hectic I guess and still has some open spaces left. My sister lives in Central London and although she's more accostomed to that fast pace of life and engrossed in her work life etc, I don't understand what she finds so alluring about the bright lights of the city. I think it's a bit impersonal, less of a community atmosphere, less likely for people to know their neighbours although there are pockets of neighbourhoods that are friendlier than others I suppose. I think if I were in London I'd find it hard to break the ice too. I guess those things you mentioned (family, work, studies, kids etc) are the main ice breakers so people hang out with others they meet through all that but that would make it harder for someone to meet people who doesn't have family/work/studies/kids going on.

                              One of my distant relatives came to London (thames mead- awful place!) as a political refugee in the 80s. At one point, him and his wife went abroad for a few weeks. When the wife came back, she told her neighbour that she had been away abroad for a few weeks and the neighbour said "I didn't notice you had gone". The wife was so used to Pakistan where people knew their neighbours and talked to them or noticed their absence- she ended up becoming severely depressed and so as soon as the political situation stabilised, she eagerly rushed back to Pakistan and said "i prefer to endure the smelly gutters of Pakistan than put up with London". Her grown up daughter refused to leave though and got married and stayed in the UK ever since.
                              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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