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  • #31
    Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

    Originally posted by Abu Hanzalah View Post
    You should marry a man like me who will adorn your hands with golden bangles, forhead with silver, and fingers with verragio diamonds.
    In other words, a pious man. He just worded it differently.
    والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

    "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

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    • #32
      Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

      pious men dont propose online to women in forums, they go speak to her wali.
      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

      The Prophet :saw: said:

      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

      muslim

      Narrated 'Abdullah:

      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

        Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
        pious men dont propose online to women in forums, they go speak to her wali.
        Oh, I didn't notice the "like me" part in there. Anyway my post was not serious, a man should not be married because he will give gifts, he should be married for piety.
        والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

        "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

        Comment


        • #34
          Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

          Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
          pious men dont propose online to women in forums, they go speak to her wali.
          This is true. I had a conversation with my mother last night where we were lamenting over the way in which so many girls we know just get messed around by guys because the girls allow it! We are so far from Islam that we've lost the basic ways of protecting ourselves and protecting our emotions and honour. It's really very sad because it's so so simple in Islam yet we've strayed so much we've made it utterly impossible for ourselves.
          *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

          Comment


          • #35
            Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

            Originally posted by علي View Post
            Oh, I didn't notice the "like me" part in there. Anyway my post was not serious, a man should not be married because he will give gifts, he should be married for piety.
            Okay first of all Sahabah used to proposition women for marriage with the same lines (adorning the women with yellow (meaning gold)). Secondly I never claimed piety. Thirdly Ms Asiya who said I proposed to her? I don't even know if she is slim and intelligent and extremely beautiful and religious or not. Why on Earth would I propose to her without knowing anything about her? And yes, I do firmly believe that a man should always talk to the wali when it comes to marriage instead of dilly dallying with the women. The women are too emotional and so it is better two men talk it out.

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

              Originally posted by Zesty View Post
              This is true. I had a conversation with my mother last night where we were lamenting over the way in which so many girls we know just get messed around by guys because the girls allow it! We are so far from Islam that we've lost the basic ways of protecting ourselves and protecting our emotions and honour. It's really very sad because it's so so simple in Islam yet we've strayed so much we've made it utterly impossible for ourselves.
              Nobody makes getting married difficult except women themselves and their parents. Men want to follow the path of sunnah and very simple way to bethrothal but women demand exorbitant mahar, PhDs, and lavish opulent comforts. Now while I can provide that, my fellow Muslim brothers are in pain and suffering and even led to sin because they cannot meet up with the demands of the Muslim women.

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                Originally posted by Abu Hanzalah View Post
                Nobody makes getting married difficult except women themselves and their parents. Men want to follow the path of sunnah and very simple way to bethrothal but women demand exorbitant mahar, PhDs, and lavish opulent comforts. Now while I can provide that, my fellow Muslim brothers are in pain and suffering and even led to sin because they cannot meet up with the demands of the Muslim women.
                I'm not disputing that many women make it difficult to get married, it's not always the case but I was talking more from the perspective of women being stupid to be quite frank. In that, they allow themselves to get involved in these commitment phobe guys, give themselves emotionally and mentally and then when the guy is still messing them around a year later they sit there in floods of tears. My point is, why do it to yourself? If he's interested in you- tell him to contact your father, it's honestly one of the ways of differentiating between those men who are genuine and sincere and those who just want to have their fun without giving the woman the honour that she deserves- but again, she brings this upon herself.
                *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                  Originally posted by Zesty View Post
                  I'm not disputing that many women make it difficult to get married, it's not always the case but I was talking more from the perspective of women being stupid to be quite frank. In that, they allow themselves to get involved in these commitment phobe guys, give themselves emotionally and mentally and then when the guy is still messing them around a year later they sit there in floods of tears. My point is, why do it to yourself? If he's interested in you- tell him to contact your father, it's honestly one of the ways of differentiating between those men who are genuine and sincere and those who just want to have their fun without giving the woman the honour that she deserves- but again, she brings this upon herself.
                  Yes, I completely concur. That's the acid test between a man who is serious about marriage and one who is just passing time - the 'call my wali' test.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                    Originally posted by Zesty View Post
                    I'm not disputing that many women make it difficult to get married, it's not always the case but I was talking more from the perspective of women being stupid to be quite frank. In that, they allow themselves to get involved in these commitment phobe guys, give themselves emotionally and mentally and then when the guy is still messing them around a year later they sit there in floods of tears. My point is, why do it to yourself? If he's interested in you- tell him to contact your father, it's honestly one of the ways of differentiating between those men who are genuine and sincere and those who just want to have their fun without giving the woman the honour that she deserves- but again, she brings this upon herself.
                    so true, if a man wants to talk to you alone, or sit with you alone even in "public" run a mile.
                    "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                    The Prophet :saw: said:

                    "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                    muslim

                    Narrated 'Abdullah:

                    The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                    "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                    By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                    [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                      Originally posted by *asiya* View Post
                      so true, if a man wants to talk to you alone, or sit with you alone even in "public" run a mile.
                      Yes but we are in this new age of, "I need to get to know him first," it's so sad because I would have been this very same girl had Allah not paved my way the way He did alhamdullilah! Honestly I feel as though it's very crucial for us to teach our daughters and sisters about the honour and status Aallah has given us as woman and how a man should be rightly approaching us etc. and this whole "getting to know each other" is ludicrous because how you or the man is before you marry is totally different to being married and living with each other! If his/her character is right then inshaAllah THAT is what will not change and therefore that should be enough of a basis to go forward inshaAllah.
                      *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                        Originally posted by Zesty View Post
                        Yes but we are in this new age of, "I need to get to know him first," it's so sad because I would have been this very same girl had Allah not paved my way the way He did alhamdullilah! Honestly I feel as though it's very crucial for us to teach our daughters and sisters about the honour and status Aallah has given us as woman and how a man should be rightly approaching us etc. and this whole "getting to know each other" is ludicrous because how you or the man is before you marry is totally different to being married and living with each other! If his/her character is right then inshaAllah THAT is what will not change and therefore that should be enough of a basis to go forward inshaAllah.
                        Alright Zesty, what if you had a beautiful daughter who was walking in the city one day, and a Muslim man approached her asking her if she was married...what should be her appropriate response? Then he says I would like to speak with your wali in consideration for marriage. What should be her response?

                        Some hard nosed people on this forum think that a man is just a "random" even if he wants to talk to a girl's wali and that he should not be given the opportunity.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                          Originally posted by Abu Hanzalah View Post
                          Alright Zesty, what if you had a beautiful daughter who was walking in the city one day, and a Muslim man approached her asking her if she was married...what should be her appropriate response? Then he says I would like to speak with your wali in consideration for marriage. What should be her response?

                          Some hard nosed people on this forum think that a man is just a "random" even if he wants to talk to a girl's wali and that he should not be given the opportunity.
                          Walking in the city? Without her father or 4 big brothers? She's got another things coming :p
                          *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                            one thing to keep in mind about people online: they are just after having some fun. nothing will be permanent. and that means more heartache in the long run.

                            i agree with those who say to block him. if you want to give dawah, make a general post about dawah, such as music being haram, the necessity of hijab, the obligation of praying 5 times a day and praying on time etc. I'm sure this guy won't like you after that.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                              Originally posted by Zesty View Post
                              Walking in the city? Without her father or 4 big brothers? She's got another things coming :p
                              Deflection, Tsk tsk. Well let me re-phrase. Muslim women when accosted by men in public, how are they to answer a man who asks her those 2 questions? Everyone knows women move about the city without mahrams in practically every city in the world. Mahrams are only a requirement for a Muslim women while she travels outside the city. Due to that it is common for women to move about the city without mahrams. That is not the issue. The issue is how they would would the brother who poses those two questions to her?

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Re: I've been on Twitter and I met a guy

                                I agree with you all 100 percent,but I have mainly Hadith quotes and people tweeting about Islam,palestine suffering and sunnah so everytime I look @ my fone I'm constantly reminded,but sometimes when you least expect it you get caught of guard.Yes I agree a man should talk to the wali first,but we live in different countries,he has no idea exactly where I live or even a telephone number...if he had to ask for those details I would never give until I knew the reason he wanted it

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