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  • #31
    Originally posted by Peace
    What if she's right?
    Impossible.

    (j/k ladies)
    Please Re-update your Signature

    Comment


    • #32
      these verses from the Holy Quran are always misunderstood by so many. how can you expect non-muslims to understand such verses if even muslims themselves cannot understand and continue to abuse Islam?

      islam does not and never has supported domestic violence

      we are told to follow the prophets sunnah, (ways of life,) for the best success.

      the prophet (saw) never raised his hand to any woman or child.

      Comment


      • #33
        When Islam came it came to a people who were barbaric, ignorant and deeply entrenched in customs and practises that could not possibly be changed overnight. The Qur'an did not invent their behaviour - but sought to control and change it gradually with wisdom.

        The prophet never laid a finger on his wives and always showed gentleness, kindness and great patience towards them.

        He said:

        "The Best of you is the best towards his wife!"

        We must now make it explicitly forbidden in Islamic Law to hit ones wife under ANY circumstances!

        It is simply not acceptable - full stop!
        Show LOVE with no remorse!

        Comment


        • #34
          The wifebeater should have been married to a moroccan woman!

          And believe me, moroccan women will hospitalise any man who makes her mad!

          As I know too well................!

          Comment


          • #35
            why cant wife beaters use their power to protect their wives? use their hands to give presents to them and use their arms to give them big hugs?

            at the end of the day it is down to individual morals what people decide to do, muslim or not
            Originally posted by hypocrite
            Bidah! Shirk! Murtard! Kufr! Man i hate the kuffar so much, i hate this country. I care much more about my brothers and sisters in Islam than you, because i say i do. Thats why i live here, claim benefits and moan when my dole payment is late.

            Comment


            • #36
              Yeah Hassan, but what about husband beaters?



              You never hear about them!



              But they do exist!

              Comment


              • #37
                lol Sultan - a woman never can put in bed a man

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by amal
                  lol Sultan - a woman never can put in bed a man
                  Not unless they clunk them on the head with a club or a rolling pin!

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    The ranter who say the Qur'an must change it's rulling don't seem to have read Seven's post.
                    Please Re-update your Signature

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      i ve seen Moroccan woman in action lol..not pretty
                      Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer.... Maybe self-destruction is the answer.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by jamila
                        The ranter who say the Qur'an must change it's rulling don't seem to have read Seven's post.
                        I assume I am the ranter to which you refer sis ;) Actually I did read Seven's post - and a very good post it is - but it still leaves permission for a man to tap/hit his wife.

                        This is unacceptable today and imho was never meant to be implemented forever - but was only an instruction that was right for it's particular circumstances at the time.

                        And we need to make it very clear that NOW - under no circumstances is a husband allowed to hit his wife!
                        Last edited by Peace; 19-10-04, 10:21 PM.
                        Show LOVE with no remorse!

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Chained_Water
                          how can you forbid and make unlawful what has been made permissible in the Quran?!
                          The Qur'an tells the Muslim fighters that they must give one fifth of the spoils they gain in battle to the prophet to distribute amongst the poor and needy:

                          And you should know that a fifth of the spoils you get hold of are for Allah and the Prophet and the near relatives and the orphans and the needy and the wayfarer. (Anfal verse 41)

                          This is exactly what the prophet did in the early battles of the Muslims - he allowed the Mujahidin to have their share of the spoils after taking one fifth for the poor and needy.

                          After the prophet died and during the reign of the second Caliph Umar - he felt that the Muslims in general needed to benefit from the spoils of war and so decided all should go to the BaytulMal and witheld the share of the Mujahideen.

                          How could Umar forbid and make unlawful what has been made permissible in the Quran and by the Prophet?????????????????????

                          The answer is he did not - he used his Ijtihad - knowing full well that some of the commands in the Qur'an were for specific circumstances and that when these changed - then we must use Ijtihad!

                          Simple!
                          Show LOVE with no remorse!

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            What are the rights of the husband and what are the rights of the wife?

                            Question:

                            what are a wife's rights on her husband according the Quran and Sunnah? or what are a husbands duties to his wife and viceversa?

                            Answer:

                            <BIG>Praise be to Allaah.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some which are shared by both husband and wife.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>We will mention – by the help of Allaah – some of the texts of the Qur’aan and Sunnah which have to do with the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>Firstly:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The rights of the wife which are hers alone:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>And she has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>1.Financial rights</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>(a)The mahr (dowry). This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]</BIG><BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage-contract, according to the majority of fuqahaa’; rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage-contract is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the consensus of the majority, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” [al-Baqarah 2:236]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The fact that divorce is permitted before consummation of the marriage or before stipulating the mahr indicates that it is permissible not to stipulate the mahr in the marriage-contract.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>If the mahr is stipulated, it becomes obligatory upon the husband; if it is not stipulated, then he must give the mahr that is given to women of similar status to his wife.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(b)Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>What is meant by spending is providing what the wife needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis” [al-Baqarah 2:233]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]</BIG><BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>From the Sunnah:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The Prophet <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu Sufyaan – who had complained that he did not spend on her: “Take what is sufficient for you and your children, on a reasonable basis.”</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on me and my children, except for what I take from his wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me for doing that?’ The Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Take from his wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient for you and your children.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5049; Muslim, 1714)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(c)Accommodation. This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>2.Non-financial rights</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(i)Fair treatment of co-wives. One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>(ii)Kind treatment. The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>From the Sunnah:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Be kind to women.’”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 1468).</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>There follow examples of the kind treatment of the Prophet <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) towards his wives – for he is the best example:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>1. It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that Umm Salamah said: “I got my menses when I was lying with the Prophet <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away and put on the clothes I usually wore for menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘Have you got your menses?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ Then he called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.”</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>She said: And she told me that the Prophet <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss her when he was fasting, and the Prophet <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one vessel.(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 316; Muslim, 296)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>2. It was narrated that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: “ ‘Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim, 892)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>3. It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah the Mother of the Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite Qur’aan when he was sitting down, then when there were thirty or forty aayahs left, he would stand up and recite them standing up. Then he did rukoo’, then sujood; then he would do likewise in the second rak’ah. When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep he would lie down.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>(</BIG><BIG>Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1068)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(c) Not harming one’s wife.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it is even more so in the case of harming one’s wife.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,, 2340)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, al-Haakim, Ibn al-Salaah and others. See Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer, 2/438.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Among the things to which the Lawgiver drew attention in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or beating in a severe manner.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in his Farewell Sermon:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Secondly:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The husband’s rights over his wife.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them [al-Baqarah 2:228]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>These rights include:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(a) The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(b) Making herself available to her husband. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse, she is obliged to submit herself to him according to the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself out, because that is something that she needs, and because that is not too long and is customary.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>If a wife refuses to respond to her husband’s request for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar’i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)</BIG><BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG>(c)Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes. One of the rights that the husband has over his wife is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes to enter his house.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is not permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is present without his permission, or to admit anyone into his house without his permission. And whatever she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his consent, ….” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim, 1026)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>It was narrated from Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas: my father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage (Hujjat al-Wadaa’) with the Messenger of Allaah <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He [the Prophet <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] praised and glorified Allaah, then he preached a sermon and said: “Treat women kindly, for they are prisoners and you have no other power over them than that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely. But if they return to obedience, (then) do not seek means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house. Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.”</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1163 – he said this is a saheeh hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1851)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>It was narrated that Jaabir said: [the Prophet] <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(d)Not going out of the house except with the husband’s permission. One of the rights of the husband over his wife is that she should not go out of the house except with his permission.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The Shaafa’is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the right to visit (even) her sick father except with the permission of her husband, and he has the right to prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to neglect an obligatory action for something that is not obligatory.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(e)Discipline. The husband has the right to discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful, because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they do not obey.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting her. These are: not adorning herself when he wants her to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is taahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating); not praying; and going out of the house without his permission.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The evidence that it is permissible to discipline one's wife includes the aayahs (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG><BIG></BIG>“As to those women on whose part you see ill‑conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” [al-Tahreem 66:6]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Ibn Katheer said:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Qutaadah said: you should command them to obey Allaah, and forbid them to disobey Allaah; you should be in charge of them in accordance with the command of Allaah, and instruct them to follow the commands of Allaah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of disobedience towards Allaah, then stop them from doing it and rebuke them for that.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>This was also the view of al-Dahhaak and Muqaatil: that the duty of the Muslim is to teach his family, including his relatives and his slaves, that which Allaah has enjoined upon them and that which He has forbidden them. (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/392)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(f)The wife serving her husband. There is a great deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has been mentioned above.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fataawa al-Kubraa, 4/561)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(g)Submitting herself to him. Once the conditions of the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically), because once the contract is completed, he is allowed in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to the compensation which is the mahr.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>(h)The wife should treat her husband in a good manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Al-Qurtubi said:</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbaas – that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>And it was said that they have the right that their husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have a similar right over them. This was the view of al-Tabari.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>Ibn Zayd said: You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>The meanings are similar, and the aayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124)</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG><BIG>And Allaah knows best.</BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>
                            <BIG></BIG>Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)

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                            • #44
                              Her husband beats her severely

                              Question:

                              I am a 22 year old Muslim born female in in America
                              I have been married to my husband
                              I married him because I thought that he was a good Muslim brother who cared about spreading ISlam and helping to raise the Kalimah of Allah -swt- by helping Muslims
                              I wanted to break off the marriage when we were still engaged about 4 years ago because he was saying mean things to me, hurting my feelings, and emotionally abusive.
                              But he promised that after we got married he would be nice to me and that his harshness was the result of him having a bad job. Since Muslims are supposed to keep their promises, I believed and trusted him, and agreed to marry him.
                              Since being married, he has gotten worse and has been physically abusive, even punching me and choking me.
                              My parents finally found out about 8 months ago. I left him to my parents house at that time for a few weeks. They convinced me that i should give him another chance because any other man i would marry would probably be even worse. They say that all of the other divorced women end up with worse husbands and situations.
                              He came back apologizing and promising to change his ways of saying hurtful things, being picky, and to stop the abuse. The agreemant was that I would go back to him to see if he really has changed.
                              After going back to him, he only changed for a short while.
                              He has been verbally and emotionally abusive. He has been physically abusive to a small degree. He has pushed me lightly and smacked me lightly. Since this is how his abuse started when we first got married from light to harder and harder, I decided a couple of months later that he has not changed and told my parents that.


                              Answer:

                              Praise be to Allaah.

                              We ask Allaah to help you cope with the calamities that have befallen you, and to grant you the reward of those who are patient, for He is Most Generous, Most Kind.

                              The husband should realize that he is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. Allaah has enjoined upon him to treat them in a good and proper manner and to treat his family kindly. Our Prophet <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you is the one who is best towards his wife, and I am the best of you towards my wives.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, 3314). Part of that good and kind treatment means not beating one’s wife in a severe manner and not insukting or cursing her. He should realize that this is a violation of the trust with which Allaah has entrusted him.

                              We have heard that many people have a hard time finding a job by which they may earn their livelihood, and that it may take a long time to find a suitable job. We have heard that many of these people oppress their wives and beat them, as if they are the cause of what is happening to them. It is as if they use this situation to justify their abhorrent actions. These men have to fear Allaah and to realize that they are the ones who are most in need of obeying Allaah and keeping away from haraam things; they should not commit sins then justify that for themselves.

                              The Muslim has to realize that he is in the world of trials and tests, so he must adorn himself with patience in bearing all the things that happen to him in this life. He should turn to Allaah by praying to Him to relieve him of the disasters that have befallen him, for He is the One Who relieves worry and distress, and Who answers the prayer of the one who has been wronged, may He be glorified and praised. Nothing is hidden from Him and there is nothing that He is unable to do in the heavens or on earth, to Him be praise in the beginning and at the end.

                              He is the most generous of those who are generous, and His slave does not seek to draw close to Him but He is even swifter in drawing close to His slave. Al-Bukhaari (6856) and Muslim (4832) narrated in their Saheehs that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet <!--#include virtual="/saws.htm" -->(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah says: ‘I am as My slave thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me a hand’s span, I draw near to him an arm’s length; and if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’”

                              In your case, my sister, Allaah is testing you by means of a man whose behaviour and attitude are bad. Based on what has been mentioned in the question, it is permissible for you to ask for a divorce (this is what is called khula’), because living with this man and anyone like him is something that is unbearable. Perhaps Allaah will compensate you with someone better than this man. If you cannot find another husband, then staying without a husband in your parents’ house, where you will be cared for and respected, will be better for you than staying with this man, so long as you do not fear that you will be tempted or will fall into haraam things. But if you fear that you may be tempted, then being patient and bearing worldly troubles by staying with this man will be better for you than having to bear the punishment of Allaah.

                              The reasons for which it is permissible for a woman to seek divorce (khula’) from her husband are mentioned in Question 1859 on this site.

                              And Allaah knows best.

                              Islam Q&A
                              Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (www.islam-qa.com)


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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Peace
                                Brutus does make a valid point!

                                Since the Qur'an itself allows a husband to hit his wife under 'certain' circumstances. It is then not surprising that some misguided men abuse this license and beat them at the drop of a hat!

                                I believe it is wrong to lay a finger on your wife under ANY circumstances.

                                This part of the Qur'an - that allows a man to hit his wife - was for another time and another age, when people behaved and reacted differently. It is simply unacceptable in todays world!

                                I don't believe for one minute that God wants us to hit anyone! Let alone our wife! But as with many situations in 7th Century Arabia - the society could not be transformed over night - and so strict rules and regulations were set in force - with the aim of eliminating such behaviour (an analogy is Slavery).

                                We must make it explicit in Shari'ah that hitting ones wife under ANY circumstances is now FORBIDDEN!!!!!!!

                                Otherwise such wife beaters will always abuse this sanction in the Qur'an!
                                here we go again, more kufr being spouted

                                next time PEACE encourages ANY CHANGING OF QURAN, peace will be banned
                                .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
                                نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
                                دولة الإسلامية باقية





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