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  • craig
    replied
    Originally posted by Brutus_Beefcake
    This behavior, sadly, is common in the Muslim world. The Koran does not treat women as equals, so is it any suprise that men do not either?





    Miriam do you not read your own holy book?


    [4:34] The men are made responsible for the women, and GOD has endowed them with certain qualities, and made them the bread earners. The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is GOD's commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then (you may use negative incentives like) deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.

    What this man did was Islamically justified. What's all the fuss?

    sorry, was just going through the forums and came across this thread, i would wish to give inputs on this, but only if asked, however i just a question i'd like to ask....why was Beefcake's account disabled?

    Leave a comment:


  • Al-Nasser
    replied
    Originally posted by mariam
    Yes.



    This man may have thought his behavior was Islamically justified.

    All I can say that I left one husband within hours of merely being physically threatened, and I would do the same again with no reservation.

    Neither myself or my children will ever live in an enviroment where threats or brutality are the norm.
    Bravo :up:

    Leave a comment:


  • Mary Carol
    replied
    Originally posted by Brutus_Beefcake
    Miriam do you not read your own holy book?
    Yes.

    What this man did was Islamically justified. What's all the fuss?
    This man may have thought his behavior was Islamically justified.

    All I can say that I left one husband within hours of merely being physically threatened, and I would do the same again with no reservation.

    Neither myself or my children will ever live in an enviroment where threats or brutality are the norm.

    Leave a comment:


  • Al-Nasser
    replied
    and that mean the problem on the both worlds is ignorance....the Muslim men who beat their wives interpret this verse like non Muslims do.....ignornace and out of context interprtation is the source of problem here

    1 - Prophet Mohammed (SAS) never beat a woman in his life and when he faced a rebellion by his wives he just left the house for them..
    2- the beating which the verse point to must follow three conditions..1) doesn't leave marks 2) no face beating 3) no humilating beating.....and the tool which is used in beating (Siawak) is as a BIG as a tooth brush!!!....so its not even a beating by any standards....and even this beating (the toothbrush) doesn't come as the first solution

    Leave a comment:


  • Brutus_Beefcake
    replied
    This behavior, sadly, is common in the Muslim world. The Koran does not treat women as equals, so is it any suprise that men do not either?

    Where do men, let alone Muslim men get the idea that the oppression of women is ok?

    And for Muslim men is there a deficiency somewhere in the Islamic education process that makes them think such behavior is justified?
    Miriam do you not read your own holy book?

    [4:34] The men are made responsible for the women, and GOD has endowed them with certain qualities, and made them the bread earners. The righteous women will cheerfully accept this arrangement, since it is GOD's commandment, and honor their husbands during their absence. If you experience rebellion from the women, you shall first talk to them, then (you may use negative incentives like) deserting them in bed, then you may (as a last alternative) beat them. If they obey you, you are not permitted to transgress against them. GOD is Most High, Supreme.

    What this man did was Islamically justified. What's all the fuss?

    Leave a comment:


  • Mary Carol
    replied
    There are resources for battered men also:

    http://www.batteredmen.com/

    Leave a comment:


  • Mary Carol
    replied
    Where do men, let alone Muslim men get the idea that the oppression of women is ok?

    And for Muslim men is there a deficiency somewhere in the Islamic education process that makes them think such behavior is justified?

    Or are they simply allowing their nafs to overcome their deen?

    For the victims in the US:

    Things to do when you face domestic violence or a threat to yourself or your children:

    ***Get an order or protection agaisnt the abuser. For details call the toll free national domestic violence hotline -1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

    Get an order of protection from the ;police and give copies to your friends, relatives and employer.

    *** In an emergency call 911.

    *** Open a savings account in your own name. Get your own post office box so that you can receive mail and checks.

    *** Plan who to stay with or who would be able to lend you money during a crisis.

    *** Contact the hotline or any shelter for help in safety planning and keep the hotline number with you at all times. See the contacts and links below for information about crisis centers and women's shelters in your area.

    What to take with you:

    1. IDENTIFICATION - drivers' licence, passport, your birth certificates, children's birth certificates, marriage licens, social security card, welfare identification, medical insurance cards.

    2. MONEY - cash, credit cards, ATM cards, check books, savings books, documentation pertaining to your own financial assets

    3. LEGAL DOCUMENTS:

    Lease, rental agreement or deed to house/properties
    Car registration and insurance papers
    Health and life insurance papers
    Medical records for you and your children
    School and shot records
    Work permits/Green Card or visa
    Passport
    Divorce papers
    Custody papers

    4. OTHER ITEMS

    keys to house, car and safe deposit boxes, clothing, medication, toiletries, phone card, address books, small items to sell, pictures of you, your children and your abuser.

    Addresses and phone numbers of the centers for Domestic Violence Coalitions of all States and Territories:

    http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/state.htm

    Domestic violence links worldwide

    http://www.dvsheltertour.org/links.html
    http://www.zip.com.au/~korman/dv/orgs.html

    National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1-800-656-HOPE

    National Hopeline Networrk -
    toll free 24-hour suicide and crisis hotline - 1-800-SUICIDE (7842433)

    Sexual Assault Coalitions and Hotlines of States and Territories:
    http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/saresources.htm

    Statewise divorce information and legal help for the US and Canada:
    http://www.divorcesource.com

    US statewise link to women's crisis centers with tel. numbers:
    http://www.brokenspirits.com/directory/

    US statewise numbers for reporter abuse of elderly people:
    http://www.elderabusecenter.org/report/

    National Domestic Violence Hotline
    1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-787-3224

    National Centre for Victims of Crime:
    http://www.ncvc.org/links/Sl.htm

    US nationwide links for child abuse
    http://mova.missouri.org/childab.htm
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    RESOURCES FOR SOUTH ASIAN WOMEN
    south asian women's network
    http://www.umiacs.umd.edu/users/sawweb/sawnet/

    Maitri - a free, confidential, nonprofit organization based in the San Francisco Bay Area, that helps South Asian women facing domestic violence, emotional abuse or family conflict. Toll Free Hotline: (888) 8-MAITRI

    http://www.narika.org/ - Organisation providing help for abused South Asian Women in the US. Toll Free Hotline: 1-800-215-7308.

    south asian women's organsiations in india and around the world (US, canada, australia, pakistan, bangladesh, sri lanka, nepal)
    http://www.umiacs.umd.edu/users/saww.../SAW.orgn.html

    domestic violence resources for south asian women (canada, india, UK, US)
    http://www.umiacs.umd.edu/users/saww.../violence.html

    NRI and south asian womens legal services (Addresses of different woman organizations located in Canada and USA)
    http://www.nrilegalservices.com/women.asp
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Additional links:

    ARIZONA:
    Statewide Toll-free Child Abuse Hotline: 1-888-SOS-CHILD

    Rape and domestic violence resources:
    http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/azdv.shtml
    Domestic violence shelters:
    http://www.divorcesource.com/shelters/arizona.shtml

    City of Phoenix:
    24-hour domestic violence hotline:
    (602) 263-8900 or 1-800-799-7739

    CALIFORNIA:
    http://www.safenetwork.net/rd/si000013.htm

    http://www.brokenspirits.com/directory/states/CA/

    Aasra: 1-800-313-ASRA (1-800-313-2772) or (510) 657-1245 or 510-657-1246. Email: [email protected].

    Maitri: (408) 730-4049
    Narika: (800) 215-7308

    South Asian Network (Southern California).

    Asian Women's Shelter. (415)-751-7110 (office) (415)-751-0880 (crisis)
    Sahara: (888) 724-2722

    SAWI -- South Asian Women's Initiative. San Diego area. Email: [email protected].

    CONNECTICUT:
    connecticut coalition against domestic violence
    (860) 282-7899

    HOTLINE: 1-888-774-2900

    Sneha: is an organization for women of South Asian origin and their families.Contact: Sneha, Inc. P.O. Box 271650 West Hartford, CT 06126-1650. Ph: (in Connecticut) 1-800-58-SNEHA. From elsewhere: (860) 658-4615. Fax: 860-521-1562. Email: [email protected].

    Shamokami: (203) 624-8727


    FLORIDA
    center agaisnt spouse abuse
    http://www.casa-stpete.org

    24 hour crisis line - 727-8983671

    domestic violence centers
    http://www.fcadv.org/centers.html

    http://www.divorcesource.com/shelters/florida.shtml

    http://www.mecop.org/domesticviolenc...idacenters.htm

    http://www.angelsonearthinc.com/

    http://www.womenindistress.com/

    GEORGIA:
    Raksha in Atlanta is a support network for all South Asians in distress.
    Info. hotline 404- 842-0725

    ILLINOIS:
    Apna Ghar, Chicago: (773) 334-4663 Email: [email protected]
    Hamdard Center provides emergency and longterm help, including psychological counselling and referral. Chicago:(708) 628-9195 96 W. Moreland, Suite 10, Addison, IL 60101.

    Asian Human Services. provides competent and compassionate services to the Asian American community of Chicago, including mental health counselling, health care, advocacy, legal help for domestic violence, youth mentoring, employment

    IOWA:
    http://www.divorcesource.com/shelters/iowa.shtml

    LOUISIANA:
    Metropolitan Battered Women's Program. P.O Box 10775, Jefferson, La 70181. Hotline: 1-800-738-8900. Fax 504-828-2893
    http://www.metrobatteredwomen.org/

    http://www.shesgothelp.com/shelters/shelters/lou.html

    domestic abuse laws, louisiana, 2001
    http://www.angelfire.com/ar/LRfuzz1/abuselaws/alla.html

    louisiana crisis and support services:
    http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/ladv.shtml

    MARYLAND:
    Asian/Pacific Islander Domestic Violence Resource Project works with all Asian women, including South Asian, in the DC area. They provide peer support, community education, victim advocacy and referrals for shelter, legal and counseling services. Ph: 202-464-4477

    Asha: (301) 369-0134
    Samhati (301) 229-6597


    MASSACHUSETTS:
    http://www.aasranewengland.org/

    A member of Manavi: (508) 427-5700 x202, (617) 497-0316
    Asian Task Force against Domestic Violence. Hotline: (617) 3382355

    MICHIGAN:
    Michigan Asian Family Services:
    http://www.maifs.org

    MINNESOTA:
    center against violence and abuse:
    http://www.mincava.umn.edu/

    Asian Women United of Minnesota provide advocacy services for Asian battered women of all ethnic groups, 24-hour multilingual crisis line, and community education on domestic violence. Crisis phone line: 651-646-2261. Business phone line: 651-646-2118. Fax: 651-646-2284.

    NEW YORK/NEW JERSEY:
    Domestic violence shelters
    http://www.divorcesource.com/shelters/newjersey.shtml

    http://www.shesgothelp.com/share/newjer.html

    Domestic Abuse Services Inc. women's shelter and
    toll free 24-hour hotline 973-8751211

    New York State Domestic Violence programs by county
    http://www.serve.com/zone/everyone/resource.html

    Manavi: (732) 435-1414

    Sakhi: hotline (212) 695.5447, Special Events Listings (212) 868.6741
    New York Asian Women's Center. Provides direct assistance to battered women and victims of sexual assualt, through culturally sensitive, multi-lingual shelter services, individual advocacy and counseling. 24 hr hotline: (212) 732-5230

    AIWA (Asian Indian Women in America): (973) 992-5210. Formed in 1980, it works in career development, acculturation, health, education and general welfare to aid in the growth of vibrant Asian/ South Asian American communities. President: Anju Bhargava, email: [email protected]

    Bangladeshi Mahila Samiti: (718)-689-0017
    Muslim Women's Committee: (212)-316-6446
    Sikh Women's Association: (718)-699-1593
    Shomokami: (203)-624-8727

    NORTH CAROLINA:
    North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence
    301 West Main Street - Durham, NC 27701 - 919.956.9124

    Long-term transitional housing for women with children
    www.HealingHeartsInc.org/

    KIRAN: Domestic Violence and Crisis Services for South Asians in North Carolina
    Website- www.kiraninc.org
    Administrative Line: 919-865-4006
    Crisis hotline - (Toll Free) 866-KIRANINC
    P.O. Box 3513, Chapel Hill, NC 27515-3513.
    Email: [email protected]

    OREGON:
    Sawera (South Asian Women's Empowerment and Resource Alliance) is a resource referral for local South Asian women in need. Phone:(503)-778-7386;
    Email: [email protected]ra.org

    PENNSYLVANIA:
    pennsylvania coalition against domestic violence
    http://www.pcadv.org

    links to domestic violence social services in pennsylvania
    http://www.carnegielibrary.org/subje...erv/abuse.html

    domestic abuse counselling center:
    http://www.dacc.net/

    Philadelphia women's shelter
    http://www.womenintransitioninc.org/

    Sewaa : P.O. Box 43622, Philadelphia, PA 19104
    Phone: (215)62-SEWAA

    TEXAS:

    Preventing Child Abuse
    http://www.preventchildabusetexas.org/

    domestic violence
    http://www.dhs.state.tx.us/programs/familyviolence

    Asians Against Domestic Violence:
    Texas: 713-339-8300
    [email protected]

    Texas council on family violence directory by county
    http://www.tcfv.org/to_get_help_in_texas.html

    DAYA - P.O. Box 571774, Houston, TX 77257. Offers peer support, referrals, transportation, legal advocacy, outreach/ education.
    Phone: (713) 914-1333

    SAHELI: (512) 703-8745. P. O. Box 3665, 1806 S. 5th Street, Austin, Texas 78764-366 Email:[email protected]

    VIRGINIA:

    Virginia Family Violence and Sexual Assault 24-hour Hotline - 1-800-838-8238
    Virginians against domestic violence:
    http://www.vadv.org/links.html

    YWCA 24-hour hotline - (804) 796-3066

    Shenahndoah Women's Center -
    24-hour hotline for battered women -
    304-2638292/304-7257080/2581078

    Angels in the Night Abused Kids' Crisis Center
    http://www.angelsinnight.org/

    Domestic abuse laws. Virginia, 2001 -
    http://www.baddteddy.com/abuse/laws/va.html

    SAMHATI- (301) 229-6597

    WASHINGTON D.C.

    Asian/Pacific Islander Domestic Violence Resource Project works with all Asian women, including South Asian, in the DC area. They provide peer support, community education, victim advocacy and referrals for shelter, legal and counseling services. Ph: 202-464-4477
    Asha : (888) 417-2742 toll free

    WASHINGTON STATE

    Chaya. P.O. Box 12917, Seattle, WA 98111-4917. Phone: Toll free- 1-877-922-4292 Office- 206.325.0325. Staffed 24 hrs/day, 7 days a week.
    Email: [email protected]. Provides translation and interpretation services, referrals to shelters, counseling, medical services, legal and immigration services, community outreach, and training.

    Leave a comment:


  • Al-Nasser
    replied
    Originally posted by AbuMubarak
    tell her to make much dua, and if she can, to get some brothers to kick his butt
    she died a yr ago my friend

    i don't think its a good idea that the daughter stay with such father...she must be raised with some Muslim family but not with such man

    btw...Imam Malik said that if the husband is that much oppressive the wife must seek the help of her male relatives to stop him..even using physical force.

    Leave a comment:


  • AbuMubarak
    replied
    Allah has forbidden oppression upon Himself, and He has forbidden us to oppress each other

    between an oppressed woman and Allah, there is no distance for her dua to travel

    tell her to make much dua, and if she can, to get some brothers to kick his butt

    Leave a comment:


  • BraveHeart
    replied
    Wife Beaters!

    Asalamaleykum

    THis is someth that happend to a friend of mine and its Just soo sad...She used to be a christain and all..and he helped her to ISlam of course with Allah's guide.
    and then right after it he started beatin her like a Man...even when she was pregnant he still would beat her and Lost 3kids coz of that...she would always ask me for help.I neva knew anything helpful to say
    and when she did gave birth to a baby-girl he said that she doesnt loook like him and that it isnt his baby and divorced her.
    she died a yr ago my friend (may allah Open the doors of Jannah for her..ameen)...and then he said that he wouldnt take care of his daughter..so now she lives with christain-ppl and they teach her abt christanity...poor thing..I seriously would Hang that guy..ufffffff



    Wife Beaters in Islam.
    What do you think of them? Any advice for the victims
    and guilty parties?


    ~Jammy~

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Yes, women are very sensitive and its enough only the man to be little bit more different in behaviour, the wife to knows she has a problem in the house. In fact the hard words we are never forgeting.

    Leave a comment:


  • dour
    replied
    It should never be done for whatever reason. In fact there is no reason or excuse to hit your wife.

    Leave a comment:

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