Family

[fearfull_22]

Assalamu alaikum warhamtullah wabaraktu

Praise be to Allah the most Powerful the most Merciful

l bid my brothers and sisters in lslam a warm and humble welcome.

Iam pretty new here put the majority of times l observe and this is my first thread and l guess so far an important thread.

Muslims like ourselves believe in Allah swt and Muhammad PBUH as our messenger. The problems we have today are difficult times for our muslim bros and sisters around the world.

My question is realted to disfunctional famailies. when you knw most of your family members are not practicing and ideas to motivate them becomes hard. I would like to ask if any one has good ideas of encouragement because having a strong family unit won't only benenfit themselfs but as well be able to reach out to others and improve their ways of thinking through our beautiful teachings of Islam.

Wassallam

United We Win
Divided We Lose

[Yakoub38]

I think the important thing is to be an example.

This is where, in my experience, people who attempt to wholeheartedly embrace the teachings of Islam fall flat on their face.

The dangers are:

1. Becoming sanctimonious. If you go around with even the hint of being 'holy', people will think you are simply showing off. Perhaps they might have a point! Don't act humble - be humble!

2. Becoming imbalanced. Islam is a religion of balance. If all you think about and do is 'Islam', then you are replacing your life with religion instead of living a religious life. And that would make you a 'religious nutter' - not much of an example, then.

3. Becoming dogmatic. Remember, the Prophet (aws) said, "He who has no kindness has no faith." So remember, if trying to be a good Muslim, you find yourself attacking people, clearly you have got it badly wrong!

4. Becoming secretive. Having seen people are uncomfortable with your devotion to Islam, you hide it and try to act 'normal'. This won't fool your family for one minute- the next thing you know, they will be phoning the psychiatrist!

5. Becoming a different person. I am a convert and I know Islam changed me. It came as a bit of shock to my family. All of a sudden, there was a new me. Allah (swt) did not expect people to give up drinking instantly, and neither does he expect you to become the perfect Muslim overnight. Let's face it, those kinds of changes never last, anyway. So take it step by step, and give those that love you a chance to adjust to the new improved you!

[fearfull_22]

[Sorrow]

I agree with you Fearful_22 and the points Yakoub38 made.

But also having close relatives, who do not practice, do things which are haraam etc, can make following Islam hard for that person who is trying to change and become more practising.

Examples:
Everyone in family listens to music, and at the same time your trying to quit. Because you can hear music from a relatives room, go downstairs and someone else has music on, this can make it hard to quit, as a song you used to like comes on, and you may be tempted to listen to it.

If you try to influece relatives who are not religious, don't practice much, can be one of the hardest things to get them to change their ways. Yakoub38 has pointed some very good points out. But you still worry, esp as there your relatives, you think what about if they die tomorrow?

Best thing is to have plenty of patience, try to talk to them about islamic topics that they find interesting, because if they become very interested in a certain area, they may be tempted to do more research into that topic, and when they start the process of finding more about that topic, they will likely come across articles, websites, books which also have stuff on other topics. And this inshallah will broaden their knowledge, and help them realise themselves of the wrongs they have been doing, learn more about their religion, and inshaAllah if Allah (swt) wills, they will start practising much more than they used to, and repent for past sins.

[fearfull_22]