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A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

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  • A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

    :salams

    Examples include things like being rude to someone, saying mean stuff, insulting someone, stealing from someone, conning someone, attacking someone, backbiting someone, slandering someone, not replaying someone's debt etc....

    All these examples involve someone transgressing against someone else.

    I have a few questions about such situations:

    1) How does seeking forgiveness work in such situations? Is the method the same as a sin that does not involve another person?

    2) Is it required to seek out the person you have wronged and ask for their forgiveness?

    3) What if the person cannot be found?

    4) Is the wronged person obliged to forgive? What if he chooses not to forgive? How will the matter be settled then?


    :jkk:
    Last edited by Khalid b. Walid; 13-04-12, 04:45 PM.

  • #2
    Re: A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

    Good questions I to would love to know this.

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    • #3
      Re: A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

      :wswrwb:

      You have to ask forgiveness from Allah and the person, because you have wronged them both. Just asking forgiveness from Allah is not enough. However, from what I've read on backbiting, if the person does not know that you talked behind his back, then you don't have to reveal that to him, you just make tawbah.

      If you cannot find the person then you make Dua'a for him :insha: and ask forgiveness from Allah.

      Well, we all should forgive, but I don't think it's an obligation. It's definitely superior to do so, as there are hadiths and verses on forgiveness.

      Wallahu Alam.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

        :wswrwb:

        Some interesting questions you've raised. A friend of mine went over to Umrah recently and that's usually when people start thinking about all this, so she asked for my forgiveness in case she said anything behind my back and it made me wonder about what happens if you can't find someone you need to apologise to (i.e. point 3,:jkk: to .mirror. for the answer to this part) or what if they person's of the opposite gender? So I'd appreciate some answers, too.

        Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
        :wswrwb:

        You have to ask forgiveness from Allah and the person, because you have wronged them both. Just asking forgiveness from Allah is not enough. However, from what I've read on backbiting, if the person does not know that you talked behind his back, then you don't have to reveal that to him, you just make tawbah.

        If you cannot find the person then you make Dua'a for him :insha: and ask forgiveness from Allah.

        Well, we all should forgive, but I don't think it's an obligation. It's definitely superior to do so, as there are hadiths and verses on forgiveness.

        Wallahu Alam.
        Really, source?
        Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
        O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
        We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

          Expiation for ghibah

          The backbiter has committed two infringements; one upon the limits of Allah, and this must be expiated by repentance and regret. The second is on the rights of his brothers/sisters. If news of the backbiting has reached the person, the backbiter must apologize to him/her, and express regret at having said it.

          "Whoever has wronged his brother, in the way of property or honor, let him go to him and repair it, before it is taken [from him on a day] when he has no dirhams or dinars, such thatif he has any good deeds, some of the good deeds will be taken and given to [the wronged one], otherwise [if he has no good deeds], some of the other's evil deeds will be taken and cast upon him." [Bukhari, Al-Mazalim, 5/121, #2449. Ahmad, Al-Musnad, 2/435]

          If the person has not learned that he has been backbited, then the backbiter
          need not tell him, but he should ask Allah to forgive him.
          "The expiation with regard to one who has been backbited is that forgiveness be asked for him." [Suyuti, Al-Jami` As-Saghir, 2/390, #6259]

          Mujahid said : the expiation for eating the flesh of your brother is that you praise him and pray for good for him, and similar is the case if he has died.


          The Rules of Backbiting (The site is down apparently).
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

            Oh, also, you can read about it on Maariful Qur'an, volume 8, page 141.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

              Was looking more into this and came across the following which answered many of the questions:




              Righteous deeds do not expiate transgressions against the rights of others

              I heard that the Prophet (S) said that if one keeps the fasts of Ramadan with emaan and in order to get reward from Allah, Allah will forgive all his or her past sins. Does this also include the sins one may have knowingly committed against the rights of other Muslim brothers and sisters which he or she now deeply regrets doing but cannot admit his or her guilt to the victims as this may create even more problems?
              Martyrdom expiates for everything except debt. Our Shaykh (i.e., Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, may Allaah have mercy on him) said: and except sins against other people such as murder and oppression. End quote.


              This has to do with material possessions, such as wealth that has been taken be force or by deceit. With regard to intangible rights such as in cases of slander and backbiting, if the person who has been wronged knows about it, then it is essential to apologize to him and ask for his forgiveness. If he did not know, then he should not be told; rather the one who wronged him should pray for him and pray for forgiveness for him, because telling him may upset him and create enmity and hatred between the two.

              Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:



              The scholars of the Standing Committee said, concerning a man who stole money from a slave:

              If he knows the slave or he knows someone who knows him, he can tell him to look for him and give him the money in silver or the equivalent, or whatever he agrees upon with him. If he does not know who he is and he thinks that he will never find him, he should give it or the equivalent in cash money in charity on behalf of its owner. If he finds him after that, he should tell him what he did; if he accepts that, all well and good, but if he objects and demands his money, then he should give it to him, and the money he gave in charity becomes an act of charity on his own behalf. He also has to ask Allaah for forgiveness and repent to Him, and pray for the other person.

              Fataawa Islamiyyah, 4/165


              And Allaah knows best.

              islamqa.info/en/ref/65649/





              How can he seek the forgiveness of one who has died?

              Praise be to Allaah.

              Since your grandmother has died and gone to her Lord, you cannot know whether she has forgiven you or not. There is no way that you can ask for her forgiveness now that she has died. This confirms the importance of the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):



              Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on this hadeeth:

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

                :jkk: Brothers.
                Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: A question about forgiveness when it involves wronging someone else?

                  i think if a person has this kind of realisation then they fear Allah, then they should just be honest. i know if someone was being like that to me and was honest with me and told me, i would not hold any hard feelings whatsoever. the person has asked for forgiveness genuinely and they deserve forgiveness. if that person does not forgive them, then at least they have done their bit and Allah is ofcourse witness to that and it's left with him isA.
                  DO NOT PRIVATE MESSAGE IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

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