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When should you stop advising people ?

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  • When should you stop advising people ?

    السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركانه

    So you have this Muslim sister or brother in Islam and she/he is doing something clearly against Islam.You advise them about that issue and how it is not permissible in Islam.They choose to ignore and keep doing what they doing.Do you stop advising them? or do you not give up on your Muslim sibling and keep advising him/her (in a kind way , not in front of others) ?

    I have this friend who is doing something wrong, i advised her several times.She argues that she is doing it with a good intention.With time (though we are called close friends) she is kinda keeping her distance from me , or so do i feel because she keeps doing what she is doing and she knows i CAN NOT approve of it.It is like they are doing something haram and honestly i feel irritated by it.Many times i keep silent , but eventually someday that discussion will come up!

    What do you think? Do we have to stop advising others on some point ? or we should keep advising our sisters and brothers no matter what the consequences are ? Personally , i do not care who hates me for telling the truth...I do believe in personal freedom.But if someone comes to me and tells me so and so is "cool" as long as it is with good intentions , i am not gonna shut my mouth.
    Jannah is my aim

  • #2
    Re: When should you stop advising people ?

    ........
    Jannah is my aim

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    • #3
      Re: When should you stop advising people ?

      Id say never, unless it is a subject we have no decent knowledge of.
      And he is the son of Ithel Goch ap Cynwrig ap Iorwerth Ddu ap Cynwrig Ddewis Herod ap Cywryd!

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      • #4
        Re: When should you stop advising people ?

        :wswrwb: when people are doing wrong and u advise them to islam, and call them to goodness, but if they dont want to listen or correct their behaviour, they will often distance themselves from you because being around you makes them uncomfortable as it is a reminder about what they are doing or have done.
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

        muslim

        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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        • #5
          Re: When should you stop advising people ?

          ^ That is true.Happened to more than ones , kinda not cool , but i can not sit back and allow x or y to continue dating guys or going out half naked.*sigh*
          Jannah is my aim

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          • #6
            Re: When should you stop advising people ?

            Its a tough one, and each situation is unique.

            For me, I won't abandon my friends. I'll advise those that do wrong, thats all you can do, you can't force anyone. With haram actions and incorrect intentions, nothing good can come from them, just the way it is. Even if your friends keep their distance from you, it may just be a while, but don't close your door on them. If they need you, you should always be there for them, but its important not to come across as self-righteous or anything.

            Allah (SWT) leaves the door to repentance and forgiveness open for His servants.

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            • #7
              Re: When should you stop advising people ?

              :wswrwb:

              As long as she is not angry at you for reminding her over and over again or she hasn't stop coming in contact with you, I think you should keep on reminding her gently. :insha: just be patient.

              If possible, get more sisters to advice her, so it'll give her more of a positive influence if she sees few sisters advising her at the same time :insha: Maybe, search some videos on the internet and send them to her to watch or take her to some lectures in your area. That can be helpful in opening her eyes, as well.

              This a good vid: Queens of Islam

              May Allah guide us all.
              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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              • #8
                Re: When should you stop advising people ?

                you can't guide people who doesn't want to be guided.
                "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

                Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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                • #9
                  Re: When should you stop advising people ?

                  Keep advising her but in a gentle manner and eventually the message will reach her heart . We shouldn't under estimate the power of duaa so make duaa that Allah helps to realise how this behaviour is affecting her heart and in turn her connection with Allah . I came across Ibn kathir tafsir of Surah Ar Ra'd ayah 17 and I found it beneficial http://abdurrahman.org/qurantafseer/.../13.25665.html
                  [COLOR="#800080"]You are saying," I belong to Allaah as a servant and I am going to return to Him". So whoever knows that he belongs to Allaah as a servant and that he will return to Him, then he should know that he will be stopped. And whoever knows that he will be stopped, then he should know that he will be questioned. And whoever knows that he will be questioned, then let him prepare an answer for the question.[/COLOR]

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                  • #10
                    Re: When should you stop advising people ?

                    It depends on what the issue is to some extent.

                    But the point of advising is simply that, to advise, not force them to do the right thing It is on the other party to stop what they are doing.

                    Additionally, sometimes it is better not to advise someone against something, unless you offer them a halaal alternative - otherwise you could lead that person to do more harmful actions or worse things - this is what is called using hikmah.
                    "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

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