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  • Girlfriend and dating..

    Salamu alaikom brothers and sisters,

    I am a young Muslim boy living in Norway, and there is a girl in my high school class who I am very attracted to, she is very beautiful and I believe she likes me too. I know that the Holy Qu'ran prohibits dating and having a girlfriend, and I therefore try limiting talking with female students (my counsellor has told me and my parents that I am "asocial, especially around girls"). But what troubles me, is that many of my Kuffar friends have girlfriends, they kiss openly, they are having sex, etc. I sometimes want to do it so badly, and sometimes I regret deciding to devote myself to Allah. I am also worried that she 99% sure will say no if I ask her without having gone out with her for a long time if I propose to her. I want to find out if she Insha'llah wants to be my wife, but I feel I cant do it without breaching the Qu'ran.

    I am very worried because I really want her to be my wife but I can't see that happening without violating the Holy Qu'ran. What should I do?

  • #2
    Re: Girlfriend and dating..

    forget about her for now and focus in making your iman stronger.. whats important right now is for you to focus in your deen & studies. when the time comes for you to get married then go to her house with your dad and you know ask for her hand in marriage simplee. just gotta be patient brother.
    Last edited by safzis; 03-04-12, 10:38 PM.
    "Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion". 3:185

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    • #3
      Re: Girlfriend and dating..

      Honestly, it's just going to be nothing but regrets. It'll last as long as that sweet tasting apple, in a few bites it's gone and you'll have nothing left.

      Don't do it, fight against it and concentrate on building your imaan so things become easier for you. Trust me, you do get rewarded for lowering your gaze, the harder the battle from which you overcome, the greater the reward shall be.

      I would strongly recommend listening and heeding to this short lecture -

      Last edited by Perseveranze; 03-04-12, 11:03 PM.
      A Fast Growing Islamic Search Website -

      www.Searching-Islam.com

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      • #4
        Re: Girlfriend and dating..

        That path only leads to pain and suffering for you or the girl.
        My service is to only the ummah.

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        • #5
          Re: Girlfriend and dating..

          :wswrwb:

          Brother, I think you already know the answer to your question.

          On one hand you have the command of Allah and on the other hand you have some girl who you want to commit haram with. So, tell me, which one is worth following?

          Brother, please, you want to make some random girl your wife, the mother of your children, because she is beautiful? Really? Is that all you base your criteria on? What happen to looking for someone who is pious? Forget pious, I mean, what religion does she follow. in the first place?

          Honestly, get a hold of yourself and keep to yourself in school. Shaytaan is obviously making her appear extremely attractive to you and shaytaan surely wants you to commit some haram act. But, fear Allah because you know that this is wrong, so you MUST stay away from it. There's absolutely no excuse to violate the Qur'an. Subhan'Allah.

          You know what you have to do, so do it. Throw her out of your mind and let yourself know that you value Allah more than anyone else, so you are proud and strong enough to follow His commands over some shaytaanic whispers. Control yourself!

          May Allah make it easy for you.
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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          • #6
            Re: Girlfriend and dating..

            Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
            :wswrwb:

            Brother, I think you already know the answer to your question.

            On one hand you have the command of Allah and on the other hand you have some girl who you want to commit haram with. So, tell me, which one is worth following?

            Brother, please, you want to make some random girl your wife, the mother of your children, because she is beautiful? Really? Is that all you base your criteria on? What happen to looking for someone who is pious? Forget pious, I mean, what religion does she follow. in the first place?

            Honestly, get a hold of yourself and keep to yourself in school. Shaytaan is obviously making her appear extremely attractive to you and shaytaan surely wants you to commit some haram act. But, fear Allah because you know that this is wrong, so you MUST stay away from it. There's absolutely no excuse to violate the Qur'an. Subhan'Allah.

            You know what you have to do, so do it. Throw her out of your mind and let yourself know that you value Allah more than anyone else, so you are proud and strong enough to follow His commands over some shaytaanic whispers. Control yourself!

            May Allah make it easy for you.
            Yeah it's just blind lust, trust me if you hold out for a few months and get through all of this you will look back and say " I wonder what was so attractive about her?" I doubt you know this woman personally rather I think you love her because of her looks, now i'm not saying you should get to know her because that is harram unless you are serious about engaging her, which you are not. To even get to know her you would have to get to know her through other people and arrange a meeting with her father, not no rogue cop go up their and play 20 questions = P.
            My service is to only the ummah.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Girlfriend and dating..

              Originally posted by muhammaduk View Post
              Salamu alaikom brothers and sisters,

              I am a young Muslim boy living in Norway, and there is a girl in my high school class who I am very attracted to, she is very beautiful and I believe she likes me too. I know that the Holy Qu'ran prohibits dating and having a girlfriend, and I therefore try limiting talking with female students (my counsellor has told me and my parents that I am "asocial, especially around girls"). But what troubles me, is that many of my Kuffar friends have girlfriends, they kiss openly, they are having sex, etc. I sometimes want to do it so badly, and sometimes I regret deciding to devote myself to Allah. I am also worried that she 99% sure will say no if I ask her without having gone out with her for a long time if I propose to her. I want to find out if she Insha'llah wants to be my wife, but I feel I cant do it without breaching the Qu'ran.

              I am very worried because I really want her to be my wife but I can't see that happening without violating the Holy Qu'ran. What should I do?
              :wswrb: First you need to get better friends, these kuffar are obviously not keeping you on the right path. Second why would you regret devoting yourself to Allah? remember those friends will be the ones who regret what they did if they don't embrace Islam. You can't just marry a girl because she looks beautiful their needs to be more than that for a marriage to work. If something makes you sin then DON'T DO IT, so get your iman up and get more pious friends.. just forget about her man it's not love just lust.
              "The organisation that is called as "the state" puts effort to destroy jihad in Sham as they destroyed it in Iraq because of their obvious transgressions against Quran and Sunnah." Abu Khalid as-Suri (Rahimahullah)

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              • #8
                Re: Girlfriend and dating..

                Salam,

                Brother trust me i was there just 2-3 years ago, I wasn't very Muslim at the time but embraced it last year.

                Don't let shay'tan get to you, study and understand Islam well.

                I was there in the exact position and just stayed away as much as possible till i finished my High School, Wallahi brother as happy and lovey dovey as it looks its a completely miserable life.

                I can almost guarantee you that after High School these people will disappear, and when your there in need NON BUT ALLAH WILL BE THERE TO HELP YOU.

                This girl your talking about Akhi (doesn't seem religious) nothing is holding her back from committing Haram, It will get worse and worse my Brother. They will get so miserable wallahi you'll think to yourself later on

                "subhanallah alhamdulillah I did not go that way, ALLAHU AKBAR"

                Wallahi my Brother it is like me talking to who i was about 2 years ago.

                You make up things and look for ways ANY EXCUSE to do so. You said marriage right? Marriage might seem normal to you and us here but go ask her she will probably freak out!

                I was there my Brother not so long ago you look for excuses and excuses but YOU KNOW BROTHER that it is wrong no matter how you look at it BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE IN ALLAH!

                Your thoughts and ideas are what you'd call a "Fairy Tail".

                Akhi I could go on and on, but I know and you know that this is wrong no matter how you look at it so there is no point in me going any further.

                ALHAMDULILLAH I did not take that path, INSHALLAH you will not take it either.
                "O friend, the cloth from which your burial shroud will be cut may have already reached the market and you remain unaware." Imam al-Ghazali R.A.

                GOOD MANNERS

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