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I don't know what to do with my boyfriend

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  • I don't know what to do with my boyfriend

    Good morning everyone.

    Please don't judge me or call me a gold digger because i'm not.

    I'm Asma, 20 years old, English but originary from Africa ( i'm black).
    My boyfriend is 60 years old, born in India but lives in the US.
    We're both muslim and we've been together for 2 years now .

    We met on a dating website and we've been together ever since.
    He is a very powerfull man , very influential in India, Pakistan and especially in the middle east. He's even friends with Prince Al Waleed Bint Talal.

    He has been a great provider : He got me an appartment, I have a five figure allowance per month but he wants me to save this money for my future business venture, therefore he gave me an unlimited credit card for my living expenses such as going on shopping sprees, trips , vacation, getting spa treatments and eating in the best restaurants. I guess you can call him my sugar daddy.

    Everything was great and that's why we started being intimate.
    He is my first love, my first everything. He was against it at first and wanted to wait until marriage but i kept insisting and he finally agreed. It was amazing. He is a great lover and a great kisser, always trying to please me and tells me he loves me. And i'm also in love with him.

    I know that everything sounds like a fairy tale but it's true.

    We've had an amazing relashionship until the day i found out that he has been lying to me about his age. He told me he was only 45 in the begining instead of 60. He looks very young.
    And we got into a HUGE fight,and when i say HUGE it's HUGE; i stopped talking to him for a while but he keeps calling me and telling me he loves me and he's pretty much saying that he will never give up on us and he insists on that.

    Now i'm worried that he's lying to me about other things.
    He told me he was divorced but now i doubt it.
    I feel like i'm stuck with him because he told me that he will never let me leave him and i'm scared although i love him.

    And i've been reading stuff on the internet very recently about indian men only wanting black women or dark skin women for sex.

    I don't know if i want to leave him for good right now but i feel like the more i wait and the more it will be impossible for me to leave.

    He has been spying on me also, he hired two security agent to follow me everywhere i go.
    He doesn't want me to talk to men.

    So what do you guys think?
    Should ask him for his divorce papers? ( i don't want to upset him )
    Should i leave before it's too late and he brings me to India and never let me come back to Europe ?
    Should i get married because i'm not a virgin anymore and i can get into trouble for that?

    The thing is that i don't want to marry some african man whom i've only seen 3 or 4 times if i'm lucky and with whom i've only spoke to 40 mins each time. Because i know i couldn't be intimate with someone i don't have an emotional connection with.
    That's why i'm also thinking about staying with him because we have been happy most of the time.
    I still love him, he's my first love.

    So i would like to know if there's any young woman who's been with a business executive out there and if you did how did it work out?
    I take any advice and please be serious because i really don't know what to do .
    And please don't tell me that pre-marital sex is forbidden, i already know it.
    Thanks everyone.

  • #2
    Re: I don't know what to do with my boyfriend

    Originally posted by Asma bella View Post
    He's even friends with Prince Al Waleed Bint Talal. .
    Please pass onto this mustacched chimp a big punch in the face, from all Ummah members


    • #3
      Re: I don't know what to do with my boyfriend

      You seem like a troll. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

      Falling 'in love' with him in the haraam way, this is usually the end result. It's funny how you don't wanna hear how haraam you went about your relationship with this man, but you want Islamic advice?

      You need to work on your relationship with Allah swt, you disobeyed Him in favour of this man and now look how this man has treated you.

      Repent for the sins you've committed, and pray istikhara.

      Do not think of minor sins as insignificant, for mountains are made out of pebbles.


      • #4
        Re: I don't know what to do with my boyfriend

        this sounds like a total wind up, and if it isnt then i dont even know where to start..
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."


        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari

        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]