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  • Unemployed...

    Seriously everything is sooooooooo disturbing. I just feel like I can't do anything and be successful these days.

    My mum wanted me to enrol on a college course 3 months ago to do hairdressing and makeup, I enrol and went to college.. but the environment was soo awful for me, I just could not concenrate. They had to play loud music in the classroom, rude music, the choice of all other students, because apprently it helped us be more lively. The songs would just get stuck in my head and I couldn't help it, I'd find myself mumbling a few words after college. I had boys in my class, yeah seriously, boys doing hair and make up. 8-) I constantly was bugged to take my hijab off everyday day, I'd sneak out for a while from class until everyone just got on with their work and stopped bugging me. There were 2 other hijabi girls in my class but they had given everyone the impression that hijab was forced on them by their fathers and they would take it off first thing when they enter college, I argued my points of it being my CHOICE. Things got too much when the next term project was 'body painting' on a nude model, the rule was the model had to be naked otherwise we'd fail the assessment. Obviously I wasn't going to do this so I left.

    And my mum thinks I just don't want to do anything in life... I'm under so much pressure. Parents want me to get a job or get married. I don't know what to do?!!!!!!!! I need some career advice. Everytime I visit the jobcentre, the lady there looks at me like she's paying me from her own pocket. I really hate it. Everyone and even my own family keep making me feel like crap, keep saying 'how are you going to get a job looking like that?'. Family keep saying when someone comes for my rishta, what are they going to say... 'she's done nothing in life, she's just recently become religious.' Nobody will marry me.

    Before I wore hijab, I worked as a receptionist and I truly hated it. They only had me there because I was 'face' of the company, expected me to look as attractive as possible. I just felt like meat. I don't want to be like that again. I love my hijab and my religion. I know hijabis do get work too but I just wanted some advice on what kind of jobs to go for and where to look? Somebody please help.

  • #2
    Re: Unemployed...

    Get married sister. Make lots if duaa and ask your parents to find you someone decent inshaAllah. I would quit the air and makeup since its a mixed environment and yu feel very uncomfortable by the sounds of thing.
    *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Unemployed...

      :salams

      Sister, honestly, you should look to get married.

      Why? Because, that's the best option for you and Allah has said, the best place for women is at home. The best and the most prestigious job a woman can do is to raise her children and take care of her family. Alhamdulillah.

      There's absolutely no need for you to be going around look for a job as if you have to feed a family. I mean, really, what are your parents trying to accomplish by demanding you find a job? It seems they just want to be able to say that, "Oh, Alhamdulillah, our daughter is this and that!" I don't see any reason that you should really get a job.

      Alhamdulillah, that you've started wearing the hijab and turned towards the deen. So, you should continue on that. Maybe, while your parents look for a husband for you, you can start learning the deen? Start going to the masjid and attend sisters' classes? Trust me, every little bit of knowledge will help you in the future, for yourself and for the children that you'll have. :insha: And, on top of that, deen is what counts in the Hereafter. You fixing other people's hair or being the "face of the company" isn't important.

      Next time your mother comes to ask you, then tell her clearly that you'd like to get married. Insha'Allah. Fulfill half of your deen. What do you have to lose, really?

      May Allah give you what's best.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Unemployed...

        Assalam-uAlaikum,

        You have to see what your good at. If you have learned half the stuff from that beauty school/college ... I would advise you to start working at a beauty salon for a while and get some hands on experience. Get your mind off the family pressure and career. If thats not what your good at then.... See if you can get a job with the gov. The city, state are always hiring. You just have to find the right field and apply.

        Good luck with everything. Hope you find what your looking for. And its a great thing that your fighting for your religion!! SubhanAllah!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Unemployed...

          Originally posted by Shehrbano View Post
          Seriously everything is sooooooooo disturbing. I just feel like I can't do anything and be successful these days.

          My mum wanted me to enrol on a college course 3 months ago to do hairdressing and makeup, I enrol and went to college.. but the environment was soo awful for me, I just could not concenrate. They had to play loud music in the classroom, rude music, the choice of all other students, because apprently it helped us be more lively. The songs would just get stuck in my head and I couldn't help it, I'd find myself mumbling a few words after college. I had boys in my class, yeah seriously, boys doing hair and make up. 8-) I constantly was bugged to take my hijab off everyday day, I'd sneak out for a while from class until everyone just got on with their work and stopped bugging me. There were 2 other hijabi girls in my class but they had given everyone the impression that hijab was forced on them by their fathers and they would take it off first thing when they enter college, I argued my points of it being my CHOICE. Things got too much when the next term project was 'body painting' on a nude model, the rule was the model had to be naked otherwise we'd fail the assessment. Obviously I wasn't going to do this so I left.

          And my mum thinks I just don't want to do anything in life... I'm under so much pressure. Parents want me to get a job or get married. I don't know what to do?!!!!!!!! I need some career advice. Everytime I visit the jobcentre, the lady there looks at me like she's paying me from her own pocket. I really hate it. Everyone and even my own family keep making me feel like crap, keep saying 'how are you going to get a job looking like that?'. Family keep saying when someone comes for my rishta, what are they going to say... 'she's done nothing in life, she's just recently become religious.' Nobody will marry me.

          Before I wore hijab, I worked as a receptionist and I truly hated it. They only had me there because I was 'face' of the company, expected me to look as attractive as possible. I just felt like meat. I don't want to be like that again. I love my hijab and my religion. I know hijabis do get work too but I just wanted some advice on what kind of jobs to go for and where to look? Somebody please help.
          Asalaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

          I will make du'a for you, and inshallah also try to give you good advice.

          You should try to get married to a devout Muslim brother, the best way to do this is that either your parents are devout Muslims and have devout Muslim friends who have a devout Muslim son, or you get connected with one of your sisters who has a brother, or relative, etc who is also looking to get married. Make sure you hear good reports from the potential husband's friends/family so that you aren't going in blindly. Does he pray in Masjid frequently, do people know his akhlaq and aqeedah? etc... You then should arrange for a meeting between you and your mahram and him so that you can get to know him better in a halaal manner, make sure your aqeedah is the same or very close, because this can cause so many problems, and it's hard to find a match sometimes for many people.

          As for work, you should only do what makes you happy, and employment is indeed difficult.

          Try to think of a dream job, if you could do anything, what would it be? And then let's try to think of ways that you can do that.

          Inshallah everything will be fine, take a deep breath, keep sabr patience.

          Fi aman Allah
          Sayyida Fatima (SA) said: "I testify before Allah (swt) and his Angels that you (Abu Bakr and Umar) have upset me, you did not keep me happy and I shall complain to Rasulullah (s) about this when I see him." Abu Bakr then said 'I seek protection from Allah's anger and your (the Prophet (saws)'s) anger'. At that moment tears filled Abu Bakr's eyes and Sayyida Fatima said 'I shall curse you in every prayer.'"

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Unemployed...

            Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahamatullahi Wa Barakatuh

            I know how you feel sis being umemployed is difficult :( and what you said about the staff in the job centre i can relate to. You said you had experience working as a receptionist, in this job did you do a lot of admin tasks, if so maybe you could look into getting into that field like admin assistant or something along those lines, but it's quite difficult at the moment with the reccession. Maybe you could look into apprenticeships, or like another user said maybe you could find a ladies only salon or something and get some work experience there.
            May Allah make it easy for you Ameen.
            And strive because the sweetness of life lies in the struggle - Imam al-Shafi'i

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Unemployed...

              Assalamu Alaikum,

              Our society, both family and the environment of the people, makes women feel like if they are not getting a secular education or a job then they're useless.


              What a stupid and backwards way to emotionally blackmail women to get them away from family life. Her greatest value and contribution to humanity is her role as a daughter, a mother, a wife.
              If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

              Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.
              There is a possibility a female might use this account to read something!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Unemployed...

                Originally posted by al-siddiq View Post
                Assalamu Alaikum,

                Our society, both family and the environment of the people, makes women feel like if they are not getting a secular education or a job then they're useless.


                What a stupid and backwards way to emotionally blackmail women to get them away from family life. Her greatest value and contribution to humanity is her role as a daughter, a mother, a wife.
                I agree with that, but when a woman is a part of a family who thinks like that, she can't really help it, and usually many families are like this, blackmailing their daughters ect ... which is sad! May Allah guide us inshallah

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Unemployed...

                  :salams sis,

                  Its probably best you left that environment as it doesnt sound good at all.

                  People have set up 2 options either get married or get a job...whilst these two are all great advice, I dont believe its as easy as people make it out to be. I dont mean to be pessimistic in my advice, i mean to be realistic. At the end of the day id advise you to make dua that what happens is best for you. I have made dua that whatever is best for me in terms of jobs in the dunya and in the akhira i get it, if any job is bad for me in terms of the environment, people etc that its turned away. Likewise i have made dua that i get married at a time which is best for me to a brother who is compatible with me.

                  To me i dont see job vs marriage as two contrasting options which you can just pick and choose at a time you like..neither of them are easy and come quickly (unless of course Allah swt wills this for an individual), you can only make dua and be patient and accept your situation. So make dua sis and at the same time of course take action, if you want to get married tell your family, friends etc. If youd like a job start browsing job sites and see what interests you. The job market is hard atm but if you make dua insA it will be made easy for you.
                  Patience...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Unemployed...

                    salam sister, I'm exactly in the same position as you are (or was) my mom is always telling me you either get married or finish your studies, but I actually stopped going to the uni because ever since ive started wearing hijab i felt horrible because i felt like the teachers were giving me weird looks and also there's only atheists or christians in my scool and Im one of the very few wearing hijab (one of the only arabs so let alone a hijabi). I'm also not sociable and shy, also people used to see me wearing jeans, make up, hair etc and all of sudden after the summer i started wearing hijab so they did not understand...lol it was very awkward.
                    I didnt tell my mom yet but I think she guessed it lol, but i felt exactly like you :/. And when I tell her it's fine i'll get married and be a housewife anyway even i had my degree but she's like oh your husband will make you live like a slave (ok she didnt use that word, but you get it). So sometimes i babysit kids and I love it, it's awesome, I don't want to wake up to go to an office, that would depress me, I want to do things I love and have time for my deen!
                    My mom used to tell me i'm lazy and i won't do anything with my life lol but she stopped a bit al hamdoulillah
                    Just be honest with her and tell her how you feel, ever since i told my mom i was PROUD NOT TO WANT to work ( as - an official job) as this is MY choice and a job is not evertything in life, she has stopped making fun of me!
                    Make dua and be patient ukhtee :)
                    Last edited by anonymous_mehip; 29-01-12, 11:30 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Unemployed...

                      i would say you should look to get married :insha:

                      i have a job and if i had the chance to leave it and get married id be happy... work is just too much hard work, especially when you got to deal with angry people and get swore and shouted at daily
                      ♥ ♥ Be mindful of Allaah, and Allaah will protect you. Be mindful of Allaah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allaah; if you seek help. Seek help of Allaah. Know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allaah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allaah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried. ♥ ♥



                      http://www.theislamicemailcircle.com...anner-new5.jpg



                      * ~ “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.” (39:10) ~ *

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Unemployed...

                        Originally posted by Muslimah3000 View Post
                        I agree with that, but when a woman is a part of a family who thinks like that, she can't really help it, and usually many families are like this, blackmailing their daughters ect ... which is sad! May Allah guide us inshallah
                        I know, and what's worse is that sisters have very open hearts and are influenced much more by people around them.

                        It is one of my frustrations, because this is something I cannot fix without having a khalifah to enforce the social system of islam upon families. You need that sort of authority to stop this completely.
                        If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

                        Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.
                        There is a possibility a female might use this account to read something!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Unemployed...

                          Assalamualaikum sister,

                          I think you are doing the right thing when you decided to leave the class due to the body painting project..
                          Honestly I will do the same thing if I were you,

                          do not worry my dear sister,
                          you should believe in Allah that you have put in this condition because this is a life test,
                          And if you pass through you are the winner,

                          Get married is not a simple thing also, it's just same as getting job.
                          you should be more sabr, leave everything to Allah while you keep on trying to find job.
                          Try to visit that job center again, don't worry of their sight, like you said they don't pay from their pocket.

                          Don't go back to old story where you were selling your 'look'
                          Keep faith in Allah that there will be a way out for you..
                          rather you'll find a good job or get married. Good luck. :insha:
                          [SIZE=4][COLOR=#006400]إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ[/COLOR][/SIZE]

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