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  • Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

    Assalamu aleikum brothers and sisters

    im not really sure if this is the right place to post, im new to this forum.. so please forgive me
    Actually the reason why i started this post is because i need help from you..
    Basically im a new muslimah, for about 3 years, when i was 14. you could say that I'm the only muslim in my family. My mother is Lebanese, she is a strict christian, i'd say. My father, on the other hand is Swedish/British, and I think he is an Atheist, he doesnt really care about any religion (not surprisingly).
    Anyway, I decided to become a muslimah, when i was 14, and Alhamdullaah, im very happy! I did not tell my parents, and i definetly wanted to hide it till i was at least 19 or so, but unfortunately, they found out, about a few months ago :S

    It has been very very hard, i mean, they were very disappointed, especially my mother. And, they both refuse to accept me. When they found out, Alhamdullah i decied to wear the Hijab, i felt that there was no point not wearing it now that i had been exposed, Alhamdullah, nothing to hide anymore. But They started to treat me very badly, tell me how embarassed they are to be with me. sometimes, when we go out, they refuse to walk next to me, when they see their friends, they start walking fast, 10 meters ahead of me, so that people wont see them with me. I dont say anything, but instead i slow down, and let them have it their way.
    I have also been asked to stay behind, in the car, or outside(even if it was cold) while they go in to the shop, or whatever place it is.

    Its becasue they had such high expectations of me, they used to be very proud of me, and now, i let them down... or thats how they see it.
    believe me, I tried to talk with them, so many times, it just doesnt work. they start shouting, screaming, at some point my mum would break something, while i try my best to stay calm.. I try not to say anything back,
    once, my father told me that im a fool, and that i had been brainwashed, and i only told him ''yes, Alhamdullah, i really have been brain washed, Islam washed my brain, and im all clean and pure''

    i have no idea, what to do. I cant move out right now, i dont think i will be able to move out anytime soon. im aware of the fact that in Islam, a woman cannot live alone. correct me if im wrong. I dont have many muslims friends, even normal friends anymore, i left them all. There arent many muslims in my area. I try to go to the mosque whenever i can, but its hard for me, Im scared that there will be fitna, because there are alot of men. Ipray to Allah everyday, may he help me with my struggles, and may He guide my parents to the right path. Ameen

    so, please, anyone, help me, give me some advice. im desperate. :''(

  • #2
    Re: Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

    Wa alaykum salam sister,

    May Allah make things easy for you. Aameen. Make plenty of dua.

    You're probably 17 now and maybe in a year or so you'll go to uni? It's not an ideal solution but if worse comes to worse, you can maybe go to a uni away from home and live with a house full of Muslim sisters? So, wait it out and be patient until you go to uni.

    If you don't plan on uni, then the perhaps marriage is something you could consider?

    once, my father told me that im a fool, and that i had been brainwashed, and i only told him ''yes, Alhamdullah, i really have been brain washed, Islam washed my brain, and im all clean and pure''
    Totally epic comeback. Excellent. :up:
    -

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

      Wa alaykum salam.
      Mashallah, it's good to hear that you accepted Islam, especially at such a young age :). I know you said there's not many muslims around your area, but what about at the mosque? Maybe you could try going to classes there, and meet Muslim sisters? Or if not, then perhaps at school or college, there must be Muslim sisters you can speak to?
      May Allah make it easier for you and i'll keep you in my duas
      :)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

        Originally posted by Layla_1 View Post
        Assalamu aleikum brothers and sisters

        im not really sure if this is the right place to post, im new to this forum.. so please forgive me
        Actually the reason why i started this post is because i need help from you..
        Basically im a new muslimah, for about 3 years, when i was 14. you could say that I'm the only muslim in my family. My mother is Lebanese, she is a strict christian, i'd say. My father, on the other hand is Swedish/British, and I think he is an Atheist, he doesnt really care about any religion (not surprisingly).
        Anyway, I decided to become a muslimah, when i was 14, and Alhamdullaah, im very happy! I did not tell my parents, and i definetly wanted to hide it till i was at least 19 or so, but unfortunately, they found out, about a few months ago :S

        It has been very very hard, i mean, they were very disappointed, especially my mother. And, they both refuse to accept me. When they found out, Alhamdullah i decied to wear the Hijab, i felt that there was no point not wearing it now that i had been exposed, Alhamdullah, nothing to hide anymore. But They started to treat me very badly, tell me how embarassed they are to be with me. sometimes, when we go out, they refuse to walk next to me, when they see their friends, they start walking fast, 10 meters ahead of me, so that people wont see them with me. I dont say anything, but instead i slow down, and let them have it their way.
        I have also been asked to stay behind, in the car, or outside(even if it was cold) while they go in to the shop, or whatever place it is.

        Its becasue they had such high expectations of me, they used to be very proud of me, and now, i let them down... or thats how they see it.
        believe me, I tried to talk with them, so many times, it just doesnt work. they start shouting, screaming, at some point my mum would break something, while i try my best to stay calm.. I try not to say anything back,
        once, my father told me that im a fool, and that i had been brainwashed, and i only told him ''yes, Alhamdullah, i really have been brain washed, Islam washed my brain, and im all clean and pure''

        i have no idea, what to do. I cant move out right now, i dont think i will be able to move out anytime soon. im aware of the fact that in Islam, a woman cannot live alone. correct me if im wrong. I dont have many muslims friends, even normal friends anymore, i left them all. There arent many muslims in my area. I try to go to the mosque whenever i can, but its hard for me, Im scared that there will be fitna, because there are alot of men. Ipray to Allah everyday, may he help me with my struggles, and may He guide my parents to the right path. Ameen

        so, please, anyone, help me, give me some advice. im desperate. :''(
        salaams to all

        please speak to reliable senior muslims in your area
        the imam of the musjid or any sisters halaqa etc

        they should be able to asist you

        also- if you KNOW that you are ready for marriage
        then go for it

        in the meantime, just keep on doing what you have been doing so far
        be patient
        dont back answer your parents or be disrespectful to them

        perform your 5 daily salaah
        perform tahajjud salaah
        and ask Allah ta'ala to help & guide you & make your affairs easy

        and Allah ta'ala knows best
        jazakallah
        Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
        very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

          Wa alaikum salaam

          Subhanallah. May Allah ta'ala keep you firm upon the deen, ameen.
          "And thus have We willed you to be a community of the middle way."
          (al-Baqarah: 143)

          Allahumma innaa na'udhu bika min an nushrika bika shai-an na'lamuh; wa nastaghfiruka limaa laa na'lam.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

            May ALLAH keep ur eman strengthen nd give u sbr.. i born in muslim family, didnt face any such kind of difficulties which u guys (newly born muslim) r facing today.. really deserving the ALLAH blessings..

            always 2 strive in supplicating ALLAH 2 guide ur parents, nd 2 do ur best 2 invite thm 2 Islam, for they r the most entitled 2 ur dutifulness, supplication nd sympathy. u shuld also b keen on adhering firmly 2 Islam, in order to b a mirror thru which ur parents wuld see the greatness of ths religion. :up:
            Most Charming Kitten

            Only in Pakistan

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

              Asalaamu alaykum (peace be upon u) sister :)


              1 - I first advise you to stay patient and continue asking Allah to make things easy for you, because du'a [praying/wishing to Allah] is the best support.

              2 - I encourage you to read the life of the companions of Prophet Muhammad, and how they were loved by them, but when they became Muslims - their parents also deserted them. I.e. read about the life of Mus'ab ibn Umayr, he reminds me alot of your situation.

              3 - Be patient on this path. You know this is the happier and more truthful path, so your patience and good manners with your parents and your goodness will rub off onto them. Whereas if you act harsh with them, they will think Islam has spoilt you. So continue to be good and continue to show them the goodness Islam has done to you, so they will realise how special Islam really is. They might not admit this in the present, but they sure will in the future inshaa' Allah.
              visit this free Muslim marriage agency thats only for practising Muslims! >> www.puremuslimmatch.com

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

                Good advice in this thread already.

                Get a good education (both religious and worldly) under your belt inshAllah, it makes a difference.

                We shall all make dua for you.
                Last edited by mundo; 08-01-12, 04:15 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Assalamu Aleykum- help needed.

                  :wswrwb:

                  you are very blessed sis. First to accept Islam at such a young age and to have such a firm resolve mashaAllah that you have been having such difficult times from your family yet it hasn't weaken your conviction. Accepting Islam from such a young age and giving up on all bad friends must have protected you from all the fitna that normally effects most of the teens now a days. May Allah protect you and guard you. Ameen.

                  Just remember to be patient and keep showing kindness towards your parents and stay strong like you have been for the last 3 years. Insha'Allah, you will see that Allah will replace hardships with ease.

                  May Allah keep you steadfast on His deen and protect you from all the evils of this world and the hereafter. Ameen, thumma Ameen.
                  لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

                  Comment


                  • #10

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