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sending daughters to islamic country??

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  • #16
    I've given serious thought before to movingt to Holy Makkah when I am able to. It would seem Makkah or Madinah might be the only good Islamic enviroments left. Because even in Saudiya, the birthplace of Al-Islam, most places have Western influence.
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    • #17
      You're responsible for your daughter. I don't see how you have the heart to send her to live in a place which she's not only accustomed to, but without her own parents. Maybe you should consider going there as well. If not, how about home schooling? And if you're worried about her not socializing with kids b/c of home schooling, then go to the masjid and let her socialize with kids there that are her age.
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      • #18
        I agree with Ayah
        don't send your daugther off like that.
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        • #19
          Bad idea IMO, sending them off to a forgeign country, esp with relatives who arent real relatives and they have never even met is a bad idea, not to mention wont there be a language barrier.
          Besides, I could say that it is not easy at all to adjust with a forgein place, it will usually take atleast 2 or more years before one could even adjust living there, alot longer if the person dislikes living there and trust me, if youve lived in the west, you are going to dislike living there, unless your in a upper class and have lots of money.

          Another thing is that, sending children away at that age, to live without parents, will probably cause a distancing and troubles later on.

          Besides sending them away just to keep them from haram, isnt a solution since, one there are things haram in Pakistan just as well, so they wouldnt be compleatly protected either, not to mention the lower quality of life, alot more worse healthcare and education.

          And there isnt much real point in it either, since they will find out about it eventually, so nothing more then delaying the inevitable.

          And basicly overall, it will always be up to the person if he/she engages in things haram or not, isolating someone so as not to take the risk of someone engaging in something haram is not worth the aftereffects.
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          • #20
            Kohr-Ah well said bro

            the haram is everywhere

            even in mecca & medina

            no doubt I agree that the parents have to make alot of efforts to offer their children a good islamic up-bringing & bringing them up in a good environment etc but that does not mean sedning them off, You have to work hard to give them the best islamic education they can possibly get. But You can't just send them off! There are islamic schools in germany, private schools after school.

            Try to encourage the child to be a better muslim right where they are now, Give them the convidence that they can do it, don't put what they can have now.. right where they are in someone else's hands.

            Personaly I think children that are raised in the west with islam, they appreciate their religion more. Whereas other teens in islamic countries think the exact opposite. I don't mean to generalize or anything but I know what I see.

            What is being sugar-coated in some islamic countries t.v channels is what we see in our schools, what we experience noticing with our own eyes and frankly speaking for myself ( I hate it). But what would someone in a islamic country think? ( oh civilized) oh I am going to go there it's great & raise my kids there, whereas me who was born and raised here, everyday I pray & think of ways to escape all of this nonsense!

            If at all you think there is no chance but pakistan go with the child Be part of their up-bringing. InshaAllah when they grow up they'll apprciate it, I know I would.;)
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            • #21
              I am agree with Intuition and my advice Amina would be to spend more time with she, seeing what its in her heart exactly. Why she is making mistakes. May be she wants only to catch your attention she need something. In many countries because of jobs, less free time, many parents are not anymore an active part of the children's life. In school the teacher often are hearing: you need to educate them, thats why we are sending them in schools,no? Try to see exactly what you did with she and i think ther solution will appear.

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              • #22
                @ all

                AS salam aleikum,

                thank you all for your opinions, ideas and suggesttions :p .
                Well I guess nothing is left to say. I'm not sure what we are going to do about it. My husband and me decided that he will stay with her for 6 weeks there this summer. And we will see if she likes or dieslikes it. We talked to her and she said she wouldnt go without her little sister.

                I dont have enough time for my daughters thats a fact. But I have to work coz of the money.

                The next masjid is 40 km's away. So I dont see a chance to bring her there. During the week Im working 8 to 10 hours a day. At the weekends I have to do my housework and studies. We all do our best to raise the kids. It is not easy.

                thanks again and inshallah we will find the right solution.

                wa salam Amina
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                • #23
                  Subhan Allah, you're working 8-10 hours a day & on the weekends you're studying and doing housework?? Then who's with the kids during that time? I'm not trying to be invasive or anything, but your kids need someone to watch after them. They're at a critical age of learning right now, about deen and so on. One of you (mom or dad) needs to be spending time with them to help them with homework, to teach them about Islam & morals, and to RAISE them.

                  Since you "have to" work, then maybe going overseas is the only option (for all of you) so your kids can atleast be raised by their grandparents until you get yourselves financially stable and are able to stay home rather than work.
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                  • #24
                    Umm, dont they go to school during that time
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                    • #25
                      school is 10 hours long? since when? In 1st grade - 12th grade, where I come from, the school day is 6-7 hours...
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                      • #26
                        Salam,

                        well school is about 6 hours a day for the kids.
                        My younger one goes to kindergarden from 7 am to 5 pm, means in a non-islamical environment. My older daughter is at hospital. She comes home next Wednesday, then she goes to school and will be at home alone in the afternoon.
                        Before my grandparents took care of them, but we had to move.
                        My husband has a break in the afternoon, so he will watch for my daughter. But he says that islamic education is my duty and field.

                        wa salam
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                        • #27
                          Actually theres also the thing that ? Cant they manage at home alone for a couple of hours, without someone to look after them ?
                          Or are they too young ?
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                          • #28
                            One is 9 and the other is 6 (ages were mentioned in a previous post) :p
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                            • #29
                              i think i could understand if the girl was even related to your husbands family- but she is not what is to say they won't treat her good- after all in places in asia - culture usually overrides religion. if she grows up she will be disconnected from you- i remember my mum left me wit hthis woman for 40 days and it was a livinf nightmare thati honestly woudn't wish on anyone. don't do it. just pray to Allah to find a way. there are lots of people who grow up in non muslim countries and turn good- that is not an excuse

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                              • #30
                                Sorry, if I am intruding- but I can understand that a mother would not want to raise her child in eastern germany. I have been living there for 5 years and seen too much of it.
                                First of all, your child would not know what it means to be a muslim - you can tell all you like at home, but all around there is no muslim to be seen. And it is not a christian environment either, the people there are real kafir - nobody believes in God.
                                The sister says, her daughter is 9 years old now. Continuing school there would mean mixing with young people, whose main occupation in there free time is drinking - no, I am not joking, and it starts when they are about 13.
                                I am not mentioning mixed swimming, sports, class holidays in places, where officially there are seperate rooms for boys and girls, parties at school with mixed dancing, time between classes where a girl has no place to hide from being molested.
                                It is not mistakes the girl make - but what she cannot run away from. If she likes Pakistan, so why not give her a good education in a place where she will learn she is a precious being, respected for what she does and learning self-respect? And still, I do not talk about hijab, just the right not to be kissed and touched at everybodys will.
                                If you think I am painting too black, go there - but be cautious. I wonder how the sister can live there - I would not risk going visiting there with my husband.
                                Wa salam
                                Hacer
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