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Losing Your Mother Tongue

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  • Losing Your Mother Tongue

    Salaam,

    I wasnt particularly strong at it growing up either - thats cos my mothers first language was English. My father wanted to improve his English so we all pretty much spoke English to each other.

    Growing up I had relatives with whom I would have to speak the mother tongue cos they couldnt speak English.

    My cousins etc all have a good grasp of their mother tongue because their mother was from their home country.

    However, cos they didnt live with us and we only saw one another on holidays and Eid etc I never got a chance to develop my mother tongue.

    Now that I'm married and I rarely see my extended family I have no reason to speak any language other than English.

    My husbands mother tongue has deteriorated since marrying me, this is cos before marriage he lived with his parents and would speak to them in their mother tongue cos they couldnt speak English.

    We were recently discussing the impact that this may have on our children and actually decided that as a second language - given the country we reside in, we much rather our children learnt to speak Arabic. This is cos languages can only develop and be sustained in a flourishing environment.

    How important is retaining your mother tongue to you?
    https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

  • #2
    Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

    :wswrwb:

    My husband and I often have this conversation about retaining mother tongues etc because my mother tongue is different to his although there are overlaps on certain words/phrases. Now, he insists I speak to my son in my mother tongue, him in his own and then English he would probably pick up anyway but honestly I am so bad and so lazy to speak my mother tongue cos I'm the only me here! Infact what's so weird is that cos I lived with inlaws for a year and a half I actually speak more of my husbands mother tongue to my son than my own mother tongue and intact more than my husband speaks in his own mother tongue (did that all make sense) :p

    Yet when I go back home or when I'm speaking to my Nani on the phone, can still speak fluent in my mother tongue. Actually I think my husband needs to practice his mother tongue more
    *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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    • #3
      Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

      ^ Punjabi aint worth the language to teach your kids anyway. Let hubby teach him guji.

      btw, I lost my mother tongue 2 years ago :(
      لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

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      • #4
        Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

        Originally posted by truepath View Post
        ^ Punjabi aint worth the language to teach your kids anyway. Let hubby teach him guji.

        btw, I lost my mother tongue 2 years ago :(
        My mother tongue is not punjabi :rotfl: what gave you that idea?!?! You're like the 2nd or 3rd person to say something like that to me! Yes but the problem is that hubs gujji is worse than mine! And it's not even my mother tongue.

        What! That's disgraceful. What's your mother tongue? Urdu? If you've forgotten how to speak Urdu you deserve to be shot.
        *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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        • #5
          Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

          good thing my parents never forgot their mother tongue and continued the tradition of speaking urdu at home even when we lived abroad.



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          • #6
            Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

            Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
            Salaam,

            I wasnt particularly strong at it growing up either - thats cos my mothers first language was English. My father wanted to improve his English so we all pretty much spoke English to each other.

            Growing up I had relatives with whom I would have to speak the mother tongue cos they couldnt speak English.

            My cousins etc all have a good grasp of their mother tongue because their mother was from their home country.

            However, cos they didnt live with us and we only saw one another on holidays and Eid etc I never got a chance to develop my mother tongue.

            Now that I'm married and I rarely see my extended family I have no reason to speak any language other than English.

            My husbands mother tongue has deteriorated since marrying me, this is cos before marriage he lived with his parents and would speak to them in their mother tongue cos they couldnt speak English.

            We were recently discussing the impact that this may have on our children and actually decided that as a second language - given the country we reside in, we much rather our children learnt to speak Arabic. This is cos languages can only develop and be sustained in a flourishing environment.

            How important is retaining your mother tongue to you?
            not very important to me. I would want my son to know though because his father and his family thats there 1st language and i would want him to be able to communicate with them in the tongue they are comfortable with, which is urdu/punjabi.

            My mum speaks urdu but she can understand english So i speak to her in english and she replys in urdu:D

            I kind of forgot how to speak urdu. i also use to know when i was a kid but now i'm really rubbish at it:embar:
            Muslimah Forever InshaAllah

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            • #7
              Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

              i know islam has tried to do away with nationalism but would being proud of your heritage be classed as nationalism? like trying to preserve your native laungage?

              mine is welsh and i know hardly any welsh to speak of. i amm trying to learn it through the net but im not going at it 100%, just doing a bit now and a again. the english actively tried to abolish welsh in the welsh valleys. the english school masters would cane a child speaking welsh and force them to speak english. its all but gone from the valleys now.

              There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. 'Good pride' represents our dignity and self-respect. 'Bad pride' is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.


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              • #8
                Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

                Originally posted by SILURES View Post
                i know islam has tried to do away with nationalism but would being proud of your heritage be classed as nationalism? like trying to preserve your native laungage?

                mine is welsh and i know hardly any welsh to speak of. i amm trying to learn it through the net but im not going at it 100%, just doing a bit now and a again. the english actively tried to abolish welsh in the welsh valleys. the english school masters would cane a child speaking welsh and force them to speak english. its all but gone from the valleys now.
                That is so sad:( reminds me when they took over americas and wouldnt allow native americans to speak their mother toungs too

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                • #9
                  Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

                  I recently found out that the scott's have there own language. shock
                  Muslimah Forever InshaAllah

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                  • #10
                    Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

                    I don't see how retaining your mother tongue has anything to do with nationalism and least of all being proud lol! Seriously sometimes it's as simple as maintaining certain aspects of your culture in order to encourage effective communication. Nothing to do with heritage etc. my gran can't speak English well at all!! If I want a relationship and bond with her, how can I create one (to the degree I wish for it to be) when I can't even speak to her?
                    *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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                    • #11
                      Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

                      i tink themore the merrier! my husbandspeaks in pushto to my son, i speak in urdu and english to him and my mum lot speak hinko to him...i intend on him learning arabic...so that will be inshallah 1,2,3,4,5 languages!..he'l be an all rounder :p
                      *Alhamdulillah*

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                      • #12
                        Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

                        Losing one's mother tongue is terrible. I've lost mine. My mother tongue is Urdu and I speak like a three year old when I speak in Urdu now. It's attrocious. I feel for you.
                        Please Re-update your Signature

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                        • #13
                          Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

                          Originally posted by SILURES View Post
                          i know islam has tried to do away with nationalism but would being proud of your heritage be classed as nationalism? like trying to preserve your native laungage?

                          mine is welsh and i know hardly any welsh to speak of. i amm trying to learn it through the net but im not going at it 100%, just doing a bit now and a again. the english actively tried to abolish welsh in the welsh valleys. the english school masters would cane a child speaking welsh and force them to speak english. its all but gone from the valleys now.
                          Allah knows best, i dont see any point in preserving it for the sake of it if its not going to be used, but its nice to know other languages though, never know when it will come in handy.

                          where i come from, the english banned kids from being educated in our local language and now only very few elderly ppl know it, some schools do weekend classes for it now 80 years on, but whats the point if it cant be used in daily life.
                          "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                          The Prophet :saw: said:

                          "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                          muslim

                          Narrated 'Abdullah:

                          The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                          "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                          By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                          [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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                          • #14
                            Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

                            Lets not go into the saga that those who know and wish to keep their mother tongues are cultural and nationalist.

                            I've retained mine just about, if that. Its weak coz alhamdulilah my mum knows and understands anglias. But if your parents(my dad) dont know english properly then how would/do you communicate with your parents. Its not right for anyone to say you MUST know your mother tongue, its not fard or anything, but what i am saying is if you cant get a decent convo going with your parents then put things in perspective inshAllah.

                            and in the case for urdu, its got a lot of connections with arabic alhamdulilah, my mum is learning sarf and subhanAllah shes so good at it, coz of urdu. Words are similar, writing is similar and you can understand words. She's learnt root letters well fast mashAllah and shes said coz urdu has helped so much alhamdulilah.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Losing Your Mother Tongue

                              Our real "mother toungue" is Arabic... which most of us have lost unfortunately.

                              We are crying over losing Urdu, Punjabi, Persian, but the priority should be to make sure our children learn Arabic.
                              "And remind, for indeed, the reminder benefits the believers"(51:55)


                              The Snake and Malik ibn Dinar http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOfrNtDw5Yc

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