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My friend needs help

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  • My friend needs help

    Salam,

    One of my friends from primary school (we were really close and that) is sort of messed up now. We still talk a lot (everyday on PS3 and still are very close friends.). However now he casually swears alot like every 2 sentences there will be a swear word. Theres that stage in primary school (like year 6?) where you think its cool to swear and your all immature and stuff. I went through that stage to but if you can't get out of it then its really bad in the future!
    When we talk he swears, he REALLY hates jew and sikhs and like actively goes out to get in fights with them and he jokes saying 'I spit on jews'
    He also does some violence I guess
    Some kid with Autism was annoying him so he didn't beat him BECAUSE THE TEACHER WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM OFF, instead he pushed him around. I was disgusted by this as
    1. Why beat someone up at all?
    2. The reason why he isn't beating a kid with autism up is because he would get told off NOT because like you know, its upsetting for him?

    Yea so.... You kinda get the general idea
    What should I say to him about this? Any wise words? Maybe quotes...????


    Do not sit idle, for indeed death is seeking you.

    Al Hasan Al Basre [RA]



  • #2
    Re: My friend needs help

    wa alaikumassalam,

    That is awful, I'm shocked that children as young as 11/12 can be this cruel. You should ask your friend if he thinks it's cool to pick on others then remember that on the day of judgement Allah subhana tala will ask him about everything he did, every bad/harsh word he spoke, and every time he hurt someone. It doesn't matter if the other child is a jew, or a sikh or a Muslim, your friend has no right whatsoever to swear at them. Tell him this is not the way of the Prophet peace be upon him and this is not what Islam teaches us.

    Tell him after you reach puberty, you are held responsible for every single action, and unless you sincerely repent (that means asking Allah tala for forgiveness, and seeking forgiveness from those he has hurt and never doing it again) then he will be in serious trouble when Allah tala holds him to account.

    When my kid misbehaved/tried teasing another cousin/joined in with the older boys to pick on the younger one, I put an end to it straightaway, there is no any bullying should ever be tolerated. I had to sit him down and tell him that we might not be around all the time to keep an eye on him but Allah tala is watching all the time and the angels are recording everything, so if he ever thinks he can get away with hurting someones feelings/psychically hurting someone, then be warned that Allah tala will not let you get away with it. He didn't do it again, I still keep an eye on him.

    Well done you, for making the thread and asking for help. I'm so glad that you were thoughtful enough to want to help your friend, and the ones he is abusing. You should speak to your class teacher and tell her that the child who is autistic is being bullied, being pushed around is still bullying, speak to your teacher in private and tell her you don't want anyone to know that it was you who told her/him. You should also speak to your teacher about your friend and tell her, because if his parents at home aren't teaching him anything, or are unaware then the only you can let them know is through school, you can tell your teacher who can call home and tell them to help their son.

    Someone needs to speak to this boy and help him sort this out, if he's not stopped he will carry this on at high school/secondary school and if he gets involved with the wrong crowd his behavior will only worsen.
    Last edited by Zey; 11-10-11, 11:23 PM.

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    • #3
      Re: My friend needs help

      :wswrwb:

      Not sure if giving him hadiths and quotes will work on him. How old is he anyways?

      I think what the sister said about getting his parents to control him is the best idea. I mean, after all, it is their job. You or the teachers can only do so much, in the end, it comes down to them.

      So, if possible, get in touch with his parents about his behavior. Even if he finds out it was you who told his parents, still just do it. He'll thank yo someday. :insha:

      May Allah guide us all.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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      • #4
        Re: My friend needs help

        Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
        :wswrwb:

        Not sure if giving him hadiths and quotes will work on him. How old is he anyways?

        I think what the sister said about getting his parents to control him is the best idea. I mean, after all, it is their job. You or the teachers can only do so much, in the end, it comes down to them.

        So, if possible, get in touch with his parents about his behavior. Even if he finds out it was you who told his parents, still just do it. He'll thank yo someday. :insha:

        May Allah guide us all.
        This guy seems like a bully and his parents might be the same so it's not the best idea to aggravate the situation.

        Speaking from experience I would back off from the relationship, it's just a recipe for disaster getting involved.

        Make dua, wish him the best and steer in the other direction.
        Everyone thinks their a scholar because they know how to copy and paste, you get your ummah face on and the second you log out, you know your reality. Anyone can attain knowledge, how many can implement it?

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        • #5
          Re: My friend needs help

          sad of him to b mean to vulnerable people.

          some people carry on rebelling and being mean is either because hes attention seeking or something has upset him, something he cant over.

          maybe if u hang out with him, and try persuading him to go to the masjid/pray with u. try to change his attiude by being a good muslim role model

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