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If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

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  • If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

    :salams

    they take advantage of you. You stay quiet because you want to avoid fight and bickering but they think they have won the battle and they are the man! and that you are weak and you cant do anything. I do not expect it from my muslim brothers but they still jump in to show how manly they are! i am really tired of this and sometimes i think a single punch is enough to kill them but why should i or anyone else do it?? we are muslims! but it really hurts me when brothers fight over small issues and they take it to extreme and staying quiet and avoiding fight is considered as weakness but why? arent we all muslims? or are we muslims only when we are in the mosque? :o

    :jkk:
    like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion.
    [Al-Hadid, 20]

  • #2
    Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

    Just because you're softly spoken, respectful and polite, you still should have enough assertiveness in you to not let people take advantage of that. You don't need to raise your voice to have the upper hand, in fact it's usually better that you respond calmly. I've heard this dialogue on some Indian channel before lol but I think it applies here and you should say it "meri khamoshi ko meri kamzori mat samjo" (don't think of my silence as a weakness). Simple things you can say for people to realise that you're not getting into petty arguing but it doesn't make you a weak person.
    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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    • #3
      Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

      :wswrwb:

      The stronger man is the one who can control his anger.

      And so what if they think you're weak? Who are they to judge you?
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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      • #4
        Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

        Originally posted by Humble Warrior View Post
        :salams

        they take advantage of you. You stay quiet because you want to avoid fight and bickering but they think they have won the battle and they are the man! and that you are weak and you cant do anything. I do not expect it from my muslim brothers but they still jump in to show how manly they are! i am really tired of this and sometimes i think a single punch is enough to kill them but why should i or anyone else do it?? we are muslims! but it really hurts me when brothers fight over small issues and they take it to extreme and staying quiet and avoiding fight is considered as weakness but why? arent we all muslims? or are we muslims only when we are in the mosque? :o

        :jkk:

        be the bigger man. the majority of people who fight do so because theyre afraid. either of getting beaten or looking bad/weak in front of others. prove your not a weak person by haveing a little rant in your head, imagine punching a hole in his chest then walk away with a little smile on your face.


        also


        Abu Umamah Al-Bahili (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said,
        "I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannahfor one who has good manners.''[Abu Dawud]

        There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. 'Good pride' represents our dignity and self-respect. 'Bad pride' is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.


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        • #5
          Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

          Be smart.Indeed, become soft spoken when you are required and increase your tone when required.Don't kill the innocent and don't punish the innocent.The ones that speak with you in higher tone and try to bully you down.Speak with them looking in their eyes.That is where they will not think of bullying you around.And when they hit you only then you should.Do not be the first to start a fight.

          And lastly, do not be influenced by the ones who bully.Because once you are, then you will loose yourself.Be who you are and control yourself how you want to and in correct manner.
          صلى الله على حبيبه محمد و على آله و أصحابه و سلم
          Al-Muslimeen

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          • #6
            Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

            Yeah, you tell him SILURES!

            The one who gives up the argument is the winner!
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

              Originally posted by Humble Warrior View Post
              :salams

              they take advantage of you. You stay quiet because you want to avoid fight and bickering but they think they have won the battle and they are the man! and that you are weak and you cant do anything. I do not expect it from my muslim brothers but they still jump in to show how manly they are! i am really tired of this and sometimes i think a single punch is enough to kill them but why should i or anyone else do it?? we are muslims! but it really hurts me when brothers fight over small issues and they take it to extreme and staying quiet and avoiding fight is considered as weakness but why? arent we all muslims? or are we muslims only when we are in the mosque? :o

              :jkk:
              :wswrwb:

              Why hang around with those types of people ? - they seem to be pretty bad Muslims; one minute they're in the Mosque praying, the next they're arguing and causing fights.

              Many would run a mile from those folk. If you stay, you might end up like them.
              'Nor say of anything,"I shall be sure to do so and so tomorrow" without adding, " if Allah (SWT) Wills" (18:23-24)

              QuranExplorer.com, where you can Listen to the Holy Recitation and Translation online in Arabic and English : http://www.quranexplorer.com/quran/ :)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

                I have noticed that this problem usually stems from people who feel they need to defend themselves in everything, arrogance in its most common form in today's society, is when people they try to prove others wrong over petty issues so that they feel "good" about themselves. But like I said, the root problem here is arrogance.

                I have noticed this in muslims and non muslims alike.
                "And so, those were his last words, he had difficulty breathing. Dying on the inside, internally bleeding. The Angel of Death, dragged him away while he was sleeping.... watched his world crumble in front of him, searching for meaning..."

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                • #9
                  Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

                  Don't worry what people think, if Allah thinks you are weak THAT would be a problem.

                  Muslim men though should be soft, caring, and speak only when needed, but at the same time we are men and must be assertive, and be firm when it is needed.

                  It is us who stands before anyone who wishes to harm our muslim women and children.
                  If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

                  Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.
                  There is a possibility a female might use this account to read something!

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                  • #10
                    Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

                    wa salam

                    unfortunately people think the opposite of sunnah is manly and worthy of doing. Look up Anderson Silva, he has a soft voice and not intimidating and doesn't talk loudly or yell. But he is pound for pound the best fighter in the world.
                    "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

                    Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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                    • #11
                      Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

                      :jkk: for the replies brothers and sister. no i dont hang around these types of brothers, but i see brothers fighting over small issues, and sometimes i try to stop them but no.. they have to satisfy their ego and show everyone how tough they are!

                      :jkk:
                      like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion.
                      [Al-Hadid, 20]

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

                        The effect from defusing a confrontation is known as the "Black dog syndrome". Quite a few self-defense instructors have written about this. Basically if you are able to kick the crap out of someone you sometimes have to refrain from doing so. This results in the weaker person thinking they won, which then makes the other guy (the one defusing the confrontation) look like the wuss(want to use a P word here but its probably not allowed).

                        It sucks and you will feel like crap. What you have to remember though is if a confrontation has one of these 3 outcomes you won:

                        You don't go to jail or face criminal charges
                        You don't go to the Hospital
                        You don't go to the cemetry

                        Any of those 3 is a win. Its hard and most people start learning a Martial art or such like to "Not take any crap from anybody" eventually you get so good/dangerous that you have to pretty much "take crap from everybody" because if you don't you will get these outcomes:

                        You will face criminal charges and possibly lengthly jail time
                        You will send people to the hospital. Which can result in you having to pay for care. Its to your financial detriment.
                        You will send people to their graves, results in jail time, possibly financial detriment and as much as we may like to think "we'll kill his ..ss..." depending on the kind of person you are there may be some physcholigical trauma.

                        This is looking at it froma purely "scientific" perspective. Of course there are the hadith that mention controlling your anger and of course if someone should escalate a confrontation to violence, Islamically you are well within you rights to "defend" yourself and others.
                        www.treasureofthescholars.wordpress.com

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                        • #13
                          Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

                          Originally posted by Humble Warrior View Post
                          :jkk: for the replies brothers and sister. no i dont hang around these types of brothers, but i see brothers fighting over small issues, and sometimes i try to stop them but no.. they have to satisfy their ego and show everyone how tough they are!

                          :jkk:
                          As mentioned, it would be best if you stopped hanging around with them.
                          'Nor say of anything,"I shall be sure to do so and so tomorrow" without adding, " if Allah (SWT) Wills" (18:23-24)

                          QuranExplorer.com, where you can Listen to the Holy Recitation and Translation online in Arabic and English : http://www.quranexplorer.com/quran/ :)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: If You Speak Softly, People Think You Are Weak!

                            There comes a point in every mans life where his ego tries to take over his life and what revolves around him.

                            The real man is the one who can supress his pride, honour and ego and stand up for what is right and most pleasing to
                            his lord.

                            Its difficult to walk away but it sometimes is the only way out, at least for your well being.
                            Everyone thinks their a scholar because they know how to copy and paste, you get your ummah face on and the second you log out, you know your reality. Anyone can attain knowledge, how many can implement it?

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