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  • #1

    University Life and frineds?

    Asslmoalikum !

    This is a common issue, and I didn't find any thing helpful so I choose Ummah :)

    Now my question is, as in the university life, boys and girls interact with each other, related to studies, they discuss all about study. some times they discuss other things which are not related to studies, like My mother cooks very well, or I have 5 sisters, or you know what happened last night, we went to hotel for a dinner.

    Means they do not talk any kind of slang things, but as We all know who is Mehram and non Mehram. So, is this allowed?

    I need reply with complete reference from Quran or Hadith.
    Tags: friends, study, university
  • #2
    Re: University Life and frineds?

    Wa'alaykum assalaam,

    Welcome to the forum.

    If its a group project, and you're not alone with a non-mahram, your conversing on things ONLY relating to the topic at hand is understable. However, talking about food, siblings, what one did last night is unneccesary and clearly wrong. There's no need for all this chit chat, its very easily avoidable - for Sisters who observe hijaab especially (I'm not a male, I won't comment on Brothers, but you'd think having a beard should help), because you need to consider the manner in which you're dressed, why you're dressed that way, the way in which you converse and why you're allowing yourself to converse in this situation and not go beyond this.

    Once you start doing this regularly, others sense what you're trying to get across (that you don't want to chitchat with non-mahaarim... they'll understand, esp. if they're Muslims; if not, explain) and this will be normal for them when you have to work together.
    Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
    O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
    We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: University Life and frineds?

      :wswrwb:

      Originally posted by Soliloquy View Post
      Once you start doing this regularly, others sense what you're trying to get across (that you don't want to chitchat with non-mahaarim... they'll understand, esp. if they're Muslims; if not, explain) and this will be normal for them when you have to work together.
      ↑That's the best thing you can do to avoid these kinds of situation.

      Only, only talk to boys/men when you are put in that situation regarding school work and speak in a honorable tone. What this means is that be straightforward and keep on point. Don't joke or smile or anything. When the work is done, just go your way.

      This will give them a message that you're not the type of person who's willing to talk around with boys. So, they will keep away from you automatically. And, if you wear hijab, then this will be much more easier for you, because even non-Muslims see hijab as something respectful and they won't come and have chat with you. :insha:

      Just keep to yourself and other Muslim sisters, though, talking to non-Muslim women is allowed.

      “O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner”
      [al-Ahzaab 33:32]
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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      • #4
        Re: University Life and frineds?

        alhamdolillah sisters dont dare talk to me. and as far as i know they (brothers and sisters) dont do just study talk.
        Last edited by Humble Warrior; 25-09-11, 08:48 AM.
        like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion.
        [Al-Hadid, 20]

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        • #5
          Re: University Life and frineds?

          Thanks for replies, actually I am a boy! and other than study, we deal our female friends as a male (i.e. no attraction, no slangs, nothing) but yes, as they are female so we avoid handshaking we even don't look at them, we talk on study but our eyes are on books, and if she or he is telling there stories that are not related to studies even though we look down (they also do the same), But I've heard that Muslims can follow trend but in limits.
          So I'm a bit confused with all this, Now days, women also work in offices, they also do talk with there fellows which are not related to their work. They even call their co-workers on dinner in their homes (but they are married)
          What I am asking is, What is the instruction of Islam if boy and girl chit chat like as I mentioned above, So then what? If they have nothing in their minds , no attraction, no such type things, but still they remain in limits,


          And P.s tell me who to enable email notification for the post

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          • #6
            Re: University Life and frineds?

            slippery slope
            thin end of the wedge
            etc etc

            Recipes for all the family :inlove:
            (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: University Life and frineds?

              Originally posted by sun999 View Post
              Thanks for replies, actually I am a boy! and other than study, we deal our female friends as a male (i.e. no attraction, no slangs, nothing) but yes, as they are female so we avoid handshaking we even don't look at them, we talk on study but our eyes are on books, and if she or he is telling there stories that are not related to studies even though we look down (they also do the same), But I've heard that Muslims can follow trend but in limits.
              So I'm a bit confused with all this, Now days, women also work in offices, they also do talk with there fellows which are not related to their work. They even call their co-workers on dinner in their homes (but they are married)
              What I am asking is, What is the instruction of Islam if boy and girl chit chat like as I mentioned above, So then what? If they have nothing in their minds , no attraction, no such type things, but still they remain in limits,


              And P.s tell me who to enable email notification for the post
              Asalamu Alaikum,

              We have to remember that Islam clearly has no flaws but that doesnt mean many Muslims are flawless. So it's very unfortunate today but this is very common amongst many Muslims. We shouldn't base how we practice our religion by the way others practice it but we should try to see what the Quran and Sunnah tells us about these kinds of situations. Solliquy above gave a great answer. Unless you're speaking for a specific reason there shouldnt be any discussion amongst the two. Even if there is no attraction the ultimate goal is to prevent even the slightest attraction amongst people who are non mehrem. Limit your interaction to your studies and end it at that, insha'Allah. May Allah reward you for trying to practice your deen to the best of your ability.

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              • #8
                Re: University Life and frineds?

                ↑Agree.

                The thing is, Allah has forbidden us from even going near the haram. So, even talking without a proper need is not permissible. Even for those who work in a mixed environment, they are not allowed to have a useless, unrelated, chat with a non-mahram co-worker. Of course, going to their house is out of the question; you aren't even allowed to go to a restaurant with them for lunch.

                The best thing to do is to make it clear as soon as possible, that you are an honorable man, who's here to do his job and not spend time on vain talks. Do your job, talk to them if it's related to the work, then go home.

                Of course, you can talk to other men, though.
                Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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                • #9
                  Re: University Life and frineds?

                  So it means, We can talk just for work?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: University Life and frineds?

                    Just for works, yeah.
                    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: University Life and frineds?

                      And A reference for that,
                      Thank you for understanding

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: University Life and frineds?

                        And yes, I want to enable email notification for this forum, But I didn't found the option

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: University Life and frineds?

                          http://islamqa.com/en/ref/27304

                          Originally posted by sun999 View Post
                          And A reference for that,
                          Thank you for understanding
                          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: University Life and frineds?

                            Originally posted by sun999 View Post
                            Asslmoalikum !

                            This is a common issue, and I didn't find any thing helpful so I choose Ummah :)

                            Now my question is, as in the university life, boys and girls interact with each other, related to studies, they discuss all about study. some times they discuss other things which are not related to studies, like My mother cooks very well, or I have 5 sisters, or you know what happened last night, we went to hotel for a dinner.

                            Means they do not talk any kind of slang things, but as We all know who is Mehram and non Mehram. So, is this allowed?

                            I need reply with complete reference from Quran or Hadith.
                            Wa Aalaikum Assalam

                            Read this inshAllah:

                            http://islamicsystem.blogspot.com/20...to-mixing.html
                            If you have any questions feel free to PM me!

                            Humililty, Sincerity, and the quest for Truth. There is no purpose in life but to seek the pleasure of Allah.
                            There is a possibility a female might use this account to read something!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: University Life and frineds?

                              :wswrwb:

                              just stick with the ladies.
                              check out this blog>>>http://myworldmuslimah.wordpress.com/

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