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  • Originally posted by salaam_7cgen View Post

    You sound like a person who blames his parents for still believing 2 plus 2 is 6 your a grown man start behaving like one and atop blaming your parents for everything that had gone wrong in your life you can now see the right and wrong if your mentally ill get treatment if you have no friends make friends with pious Muslim if you have no job start looking for one if your career is not going well ask for advise or look for new opportunities dont just sit and play the blame game¬*
    In a way youre right. Starting to take matters into yiur own hands, deciding to parent yourself from now on and stopping to rely on others and forgiving your parents is a huge part of healing. I personally have issues with my parents too, my dad never gave me attention and my mum never showed me love and critisised me in ways she shouldnt have, i had huge abandonement issues as a kid which no one really looked into or knew about, but Alhamdulillah we are older now, i understand that parenting isnt easy and usually the parents that abuse their kids wether mentally or emotionally have issues themselves which makes it hard for them to parent. So we should forgive them which is the first step to healing, and then go on a journey of self help, healing...
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    • How do you stop your thoughts from negative snowballing?
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      • I think it's mostly a cultural thing. The Palestinian side of my family can be evil. They will laugh at your pain or call you crazy.

        I've always been so embarrassed to say anything. Even now.

        They create this situation where if you open up it will become so much worse because they will constantly be putting you down and making you feel like your defected.

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        • You know when you're in a negative cycle and you dont remember how to be normal anymore, how do i get out of this
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          • It depends as there are a few ways.¬* Some say "verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest" so this suggests that dhikr and prayer can divert the focus of the mind away from tension and towards Allah (swt).¬* Sometimes it depends on what triggers that cycle as it may be something or someone you need to avoid or spend some time away from.¬* Sometimes it's a sign of illness that could be caused by some sort of mineral or vitamin deficiency such as b12, omega 3s, low dose lithium orotate, vitamin d3, magnesium or other nutrients that are known to help regulate mood and reduce anxiety etc- deficiencies in magnesium, vitamin d3 and omega 3 are common.¬* Sometimes it could be lifestyle, especially if you live in an urban concrete jungle.¬* This might sound cliched but sometimes getting into a healthier frame of mind can be a simple case of a digital detox, reducing stressors like screen time, caffeine and sugar intake and spending time in green spaces such as walking through a park or that sort of thing.¬* Sometimes it could just be a case of taking out time from your routine to do something that makes you feel better even if it seems childish or silly to others, it could be something as simple as drawing/painting or stroking cats.¬* My best friend was going through depression and his cat really seemed to help.¬* I wouldn't say that's a cure cos she wasn't, but before the cat arrived, all he ever talked about was how much of a failure he was (he wasn't really but he perceived himself that way) and how useless he was and that sort of thing.¬* After the cat arrived he still had a low opinion of himself but instead of talking all the time about how terrible he was, he spent most of his time talking about his cat's antics, her little quirks and little routine things he did to look after her.¬* I think that really helped.

            Originally posted by Kaas View Post
            You know when you're in a negative cycle and you dont remember how to be normal anymore, how do i get out of this
            ¬*
            The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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            • Originally posted by neelu View Post
              It depends as there are a few ways.¬* Some say "verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest" so this suggests that dhikr and prayer can divert the focus of the mind away from tension and towards Allah (swt).¬* Sometimes it depends on what triggers that cycle as it may be something or someone you need to avoid or spend some time away from.¬* Sometimes it's a sign of illness that could be caused by some sort of mineral or vitamin deficiency such as b12, omega 3s, low dose lithium orotate, vitamin d3, magnesium or other nutrients that are known to help regulate mood and reduce anxiety etc- deficiencies in magnesium, vitamin d3 and omega 3 are common.¬* Sometimes it could be lifestyle, especially if you live in an urban concrete jungle.¬* This might sound cliched but sometimes getting into a healthier frame of mind can be a simple case of a digital detox, reducing stressors like screen time, caffeine and sugar intake and spending time in green spaces such as walking through a park or that sort of thing.¬* Sometimes it could just be a case of taking out time from your routine to do something that makes you feel better even if it seems childish or silly to others, it could be something as simple as drawing/painting or stroking cats.¬* My best friend was going through depression and his cat really seemed to help.¬* I wouldn't say that's a cure cos she wasn't, but before the cat arrived, all he ever talked about was how much of a failure he was (he wasn't really but he perceived himself that way) and how useless he was and that sort of thing.¬* After the cat arrived he still had a low opinion of himself but instead of talking all the time about how terrible he was, he spent most of his time talking about his cat's antics, her little quirks and little routine things he did to look after her.¬* I think that really helped.



              ¬*
              Yea subhanAllah youre right, atm i feel better but it can hit anytime and when it does i dont see a way out. But since i came to the UK all i do is sit home and think of what to eat, which makes my diet unhealthy and i get dissapointed with myself all the time. I have plenty of time to excersize and memorise quran but my motivation is lacking sometimes, i do excersise and memorise like 4 times a week but i should do it everyday since i have nothing better to do anyway exept for house chores but theres not many since its just me and my husband in a small flat... not being productive definately makes me feel down too sometimes, i wish we could get a kitty but the landlord doesn't allow it :( also theres not really any classes i can follow since i dont live close enough to the mosques that do them
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              • For everyone thats mad at themselves or cant get up after a fall or just anyone who needs that push:

                Attached Files
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                • Feeling anxious, :(
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                  • I had a really awful day yesterday. Most people seem to feel better in Ramadan (in terms of spiritually on in terms of being happier etc) but some people feel worse, especially if they're afflicted by evil eye or jinn etc. I don't know if it's just a coincidence that I had a bad day or not and I still haven't fully recovered so can't properly rest or sleep yet.

                    Some people say dhikr can help. It's a good idea of getting in the habit after salah of regularly reciting Alhamdullilah, SubhanAllah and Allahu Akbar. Also anxiety can have various causes. If it's nutrient deficiency then taking supplements can help and the main supplements associated with this sort of thing would be either magnesium or omega 3 or low dose lithium orotate. Another option would be to look into st johns wort or bach remedies. Having said that, if your anxiety is caused by problems at home or in society (relationship or financial problems) then it might require a different solution.

                    Originally posted by Kaas View Post
                    Feeling anxious, :(
                    Last edited by neelu; 08-05-19, 12:47 PM.
                    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                    • Originally posted by neelu View Post
                      I had a really awful day yesterday. Most people seem to feel better in Ramadan (in terms of spiritually on in terms of being happier etc) but some people feel worse, especially if they're afflicted by evil eye or jinn etc. I don't know if it's just a coincidence that I had a bad day or not and I still haven't fully recovered so can't properly rest or sleep yet.

                      Some people say dhikr can help. It's a good idea of getting in the habit after salah of regularly reciting Alhamdullilah, SubhanAllah and Allahu Akbar. Also anxiety can have various causes. If it's nutrient deficiency then taking supplements can help and the main supplements associated with this sort of thing would be either magnesium or omega 3 or low dose lithium orotate. Another option would be to look into st johns wort or bach remedies. Having said that, if your anxiety is caused by problems at home or in society (relationship or financial problems) then it might require a different solution.

                      Yea sis i read about your affairs.. I'm certainly making dua for you sis, its almost like a test during this ramadhan for you and may Allah make it easy for you and give you better wether its in dunya or akhira ameen.

                      i think it's due to my period that i feel this way right now, and not being able to pray makes it a little worse, i was actually looking at st johns work in holland and barret today but i couldnt afford it, i should pick some but i havent seen any growing near me..
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                      • Oh yes my monthly cycle can impact my emotions and reduce my ability to be resilient. At least calcium magnesium supplements mean I don't get the horrible cramps and pains that I used to though so I'm grateful for that. Also imo the period is the time to throw any diet out of the window. My body feels more soothed by honey and chocolate especially during the first couple of days, honey soothes the stomach discomfort and dark chocolate contains iron so it has health benefits (losing blood means losing iron) so even if I have to eat carefully the rest of the month, but on those days I just need that comfort and it tastes good so that helps ease things a bit as well.

                        I should add you to my dua list. So many people online mentioning that they need duas so from time to time I do that, but it's hard to keep track.

                        Originally posted by Kaas View Post

                        Yea sis i read about your affairs.. I'm certainly making dua for you sis, its almost like a test during this ramadhan for you and may Allah make it easy for you and give you better wether its in dunya or akhira ameen.

                        i think it's due to my period that i feel this way right now, and not being able to pray makes it a little worse, i was actually looking at st johns work in holland and barret today but i couldnt afford it, i should pick some but i havent seen any growing near me..
                        The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                        • Originally posted by neelu View Post
                          Oh yes my monthly cycle can impact my emotions and reduce my ability to be resilient. At least calcium magnesium supplements mean I don't get the horrible cramps and pains that I used to though so I'm grateful for that. Also imo the period is the time to throw any diet out of the window. My body feels more soothed by honey and chocolate especially during the first couple of days, honey soothes the stomach discomfort and dark chocolate contains iron so it has health benefits (losing blood means losing iron) so even if I have to eat carefully the rest of the month, but on those days I just need that comfort and it tastes good so that helps ease things a bit as well.

                          I should add you to my dua list. So many people online mentioning that they need duas so from time to time I do that, but it's hard to keep track.


                          JazakAllahu khair sis you are very kind ma sha Allah Allahumma barik.

                          i am already eating chocolate but i will definately try adding honey too and i think i have some magnesium tablets somewhere, thanks for the advise
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                          • are there any Muslim psychologists or counselling services out there does anyone know?

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                            • Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
                              are there any Muslim psychologists or counselling services out there does anyone know?
                              Islamic online university has one but it's a paid service
                              “Allah gave you a gift of 86,000 seconds today, have you used one to say ‘Alhamdulilah

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                              • Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
                                are there any Muslim psychologists or counselling services out there does anyone know?
                                This Islamic counselling organization has a low-cost fee discount for those who can't pay the full £45 for each session.

                                You have to contact them to let them know

                                Here is the page for it:

                                http://www.zamzamcounselling.co.uk/l...t-counselling/
                                وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                                And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                                أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                                Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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