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Getting angry at my parents

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  • Getting angry at my parents

    It's not like they do anything bad to me that would give me the right to be angry but, for example, my father says something to me in a certain tone and I snap and talk in a bad way, not with bad words but with a rude tone, which makes my father angry and me angrier...

    I know how important being respectful to our parents is in Islam, but I can't seem to be able to keep my cool... Do you know any duas or anything I can do to keep calm? I don't want to be like this... :(
    I understand why my name might confuse you but still, I'm a sister, not a brother. :coolsis:

  • #2
    Re: Getting angry at my parents

    my father screams at me then i respond nicely the first time then he screams again at me and then i scream and scare the cats into a frenzy with my voice .. lol



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    • #3
      Re: Getting angry at my parents

      I had another one of those days today, so I know how you feel. :(

      Say A'udhubillah ("I seek refuge in Allah", so from the anger within yourself and this situation), or A'udhubillahi minash shaytaanir rajim (I seek refuge in Allah from Satan, the accursed); just remembering Allah helps.

      Think about it logically, too, getting angry doesn't help a situation... and if your aim is to try and get your parents to practice Islam, you getting angry will definitely not help.

      Not to mention that these are your parents, I'm sure you're aware of their status in Islam.
      Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
      O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
      We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

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      • #4
        Re: Getting angry at my parents

        :salams

        The easiest thing you can do to save yourself from humiliation, regret, and most importantly by disobeying Allah (since you get angry at your parents), is to keep silent. Whatever they say, just keep silent. Even Rasulullah :saw: recommended that.

        If it helps, then just walk away. Go to another room to something. Remember, if you disrespect your parents, then you are angering Allah as well.

        I've never done this, but there's an ahadith that says, when you are angry sit down if you were standing, and lay down if you were sitting. So, go to your room and just lay down, and let it cool off. :insha: This will also give you and your parents a chance to reflect on the situation.


        Some links for you:

        He gets angry and does not speak to his parents and does not make up with them

        How can one avoid getting angry quickly?

        Dealing with a bad Temper
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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        • #5
          Re: Getting angry at my parents

          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
          :salams

          The easiest thing you can do to save yourself from humiliation, regret, and most importantly by disobeying Allah (since you get angry at your parents), is to keep silent. Whatever they say, just keep silent. Even Rasulullah :saw: recommended that.

          If it helps, then just walk away. Go to another room to something. Remember, if you disrespect your parents, then you are angering Allah as well.

          I've never done this, but there's an ahadith that says, when you are angry sit down if you were standing, and lay down if you were sitting. So, go to your room and just lay down, and let it cool off. :insha: This will also give you and your parents a chance to reflect on the situation.


          Some links for you:

          He gets angry and does not speak to his parents and does not make up with them

          How can one avoid getting angry quickly?

          Dealing with a bad Temper

          This. Let them say what they want. And then give them some space so the both of you can cool down. Remind yourself of what they did for you, are still doing, and will keep doing till thier last day. After you calm down, make dua for them and then go speak to them and please them. May Allah make it easier for you :)
          الحق لا يعرف بالرجال، اعرف الحق تعرف رجاله

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          • #6
            Re: Getting angry at my parents

            echo what mirror has said. Seek refuge in Allah when you feel anger rising and remember that your anger from shaitaan. Say Auzobillah hi minash shaitaanir rajeem every time you feel yourself getting angry. Take yourself away from the situation and i dont see any harm in even saying "dad i am going to cool off cos i dont like getting angry at you because youre my dad and i love you" :inlove: then atleast he doesnt think youre being even more rude and insolent by walking away!
            Make wudhu and do some dhikr or pray quran or go off and reflect on what your parents have done for you and all the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you and inshaAllah you should calm down.
            *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

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            • #7
              Re: Getting angry at my parents

              Originally posted by Zesty View Post
              echo what mirror has said. Seek refuge in Allah when you feel anger rising and remember that your anger from shaitaan. Say Auzobillah hi minash shaitaanir rajeem every time you feel yourself getting angry. Take yourself away from the situation and i dont see any harm in even saying "dad i am going to cool off cos i dont like getting angry at you because youre my dad and i love you" :inlove: then atleast he doesnt think youre being even more rude and insolent by walking away!
              Make wudhu and do some dhikr or pray quran or go off and reflect on what your parents have done for you and all the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you and inshaAllah you should calm down.
              thats a good one!
              check out this blog>>>http://myworldmuslimah.wordpress.com/

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Getting angry at my parents

                Remove yourself from the situation - just leave the room promptly.

                This will take ALOT of effort, but eventually you will learn to totally ignore it. When you say something back, it gives the other person ammunition against, and then back and forth etc. When faced with a situation like this, dont say a single word. If you dont say anything, the other person will have nothing to respond to. This is very difficult to do, but you master this, its the one of the most powerful positions to be in. Mirror has already written about this,

                Make dua for Allah stw to ease the situation between you and father and he will. Make dua for you father as well.

                When you speak to your father, do so in manner than evokes respect. Just as his tone of voice annoys you, your tone of voice can please him!

                Do dhikr. Do abundant dhikr. Serioulsy, if you a reading salwaat or istighfaar, then you are not going stop doing that just to respond something trivial!
                وَالْعَصْرِ

                إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

                إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ


                "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

                Khanqah Habibiyah

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Getting angry at my parents

                  you need to calm yourself, I always find myself calm after any kind of ritualistic ibadah. May be it can help you too
                  "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

                  Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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                  • #10
                    Re: Getting angry at my parents

                    Wow, this all is so helpful. :D

                    I love my parents and I sure am aware of their status in Islam. I really want to become a better Muslim and a better daughter.. I just have to try harder. Inshallah, I get used to it and don't get so angry anymore.

                    Jazak Allah Khair to all of you. :o
                    I understand why my name might confuse you but still, I'm a sister, not a brother. :coolsis:

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