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how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

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  • #16
    Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

    Just tell her upfront why you would need the space in your room, and feelings towards her camping in your room ...

    we should not fear hurting someone, when telling them the truth, particularly when they infringe on someone elses property/right ...

    :jkk:
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

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    • #17
      Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

      Its not a matter of iman & kufr, haqq n baatil ^ kinda thing....

      "Good character is the open door to the bounties of the Gardens and proximity to the Merciful. Base character is a sickness of the heart and a disease of the lower self. It is a sickness that endangers the ever-lasting life. Therefore, it is necessary to pay utmost attention to it, even more than outward sickness."
      Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

      ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
      فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

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      • #18
        Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

        I agree with Ibn Q. When things can be done in a polite manner and aim can be easily achieved there is no need for rudeness and nastiness.
        لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

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        • #19
          Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

          Originally posted by truepath View Post
          I agree with Ibn Q. When things can be done in a polite manner and aim can be easily achieved there is no need for rudeness and nastiness.
          Yeah, but how do you tell them politely?
          That's the question.
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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          • #20
            Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

            depends, the simple british way is: F OFF

            the islamic way is probably: I need space to pray, so err can you come back later. Then you just lock the door nd pretend you're sleeping

            He it is Who sends blessings on you, as do His angels, that He may bring you out from the depths of Darkness into Light: and He is Full of Mercy to the Believers. [Quran {33:43}]
            www.QuranicAudio.com
            www.Quran.com

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            • #21
              Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

              you could jokingly say to her about swapping rooms being as she likes your room so much. see if she gets the hint.

              if not, a roll of duct tape, some plastic sheeting and a shovel is the only way to get your space back......

              There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. 'Good pride' represents our dignity and self-respect. 'Bad pride' is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.


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              • #22
                Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                Originally posted by SILURES View Post
                you could jokingly say to her about swapping rooms being as she likes your room so much. see if she gets the hint.

                if not, a roll of duct tape, some plastic sheeting and a shovel is the only way to get your space back......
                That's actually a good idea....the second one.... no the first one!

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                • #23
                  Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                  Originally posted by truepath View Post
                  I agree with Ibn Q. When things can be done in a polite manner and aim can be easily achieved there is no need for rudeness and nastiness.
                  True but it's not rude to tell her that you need your own room/space ...

                  these days it seems that some people are lacking courage to stand up for themselves ... no offence intended ...

                  :jkk:
                  http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                  "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                    OP - y dont you lock your room and go out. When home, lock it and stay, if the roomie tries to hang out, be like u gotta vacuum or clean, pray or dhikr [actually do them, don't lie]. Give the roomie 3 tries. try to hang out in their room next time.
                    Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

                    ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
                    فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

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                    • #25
                      Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                      I'd be like... "y'know how sometimes you're just not in the mood, I'm having one of those days, I might get an early night..." and do that a couple of days in a row. She might get the hint. Also, have a good clean out and give her her things back saying something like "oh, I found these in my room earlier when I was cleaning, you want them back?" and actually pass them back.

                      That way you won't embarrass her and neither will you have to make it a big issue. I'd also arrange to meet her in another room when you just want to hang out with her. Maybe like "how about we do something (whatever it is, maybe talk about something, or whatever) in -(particular room)- in a bit (or particular time)", so you can both stop meeting in your room every time you do something.
                      Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                      O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                      We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

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                      • #26
                        Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                        agreed ^ just say your going to have a good tidy up and that you will help her take her stuff back to her room, and do that. then you can say your going to have an early night and you will see her tommorow. shes probably just lonely and missing family or something poor girl. Allah reward u for your sabr amin
                        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                        The Prophet :saw: said:

                        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

                        muslim

                        Narrated 'Abdullah:

                        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


                        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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                        • #27
                          Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                          No, I meant the GT*O part. :p

                          I, personally, would be very reluctant to say anything, but that's just me. I know some people can say it very easily by being blunt, or even assertively. It's like a skill.
                          its not a skill. you just do it.

                          some people have that personality.

                          some dont.
                          painful torment? (10) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                          JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

                          sponsor an orphan

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                          • #28
                            Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                            post 26 is wwhack yo,

                            take that advice
                            Reported by Ibn al-Salah:

                            ولقد أحسن الحسن بن أبي زياد اللؤلؤي صاحب أبي حنيفة فيما بلغنا عنه أنه استفتي في مسألة فأخطأ فيها ولم يعرف الذي أفتاه فاكترى مناديا فنادى أن الحسن بن أبي زياد استفتي يوم كذا وكذا في مسألة فأخطأ فمن كان أفتاه الحسن بن أبي زياد بشيء فليرجع إليه
                            فلبث أياما لا يفتي حتى وجد صاحب الفتوى فأعلمه أنه أخطأ وإن الصواب كذا وكذا والله أعلم

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                              Originally posted by IbnulQayyim View Post
                              post 26 is wwhack yo,

                              take that advice
                              No thanks. Ain't got time for all that waffle. I'd tell em to take a hike.
                              Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: (Muslim)

                              "Zendagi Migzara..."

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                              • #30
                                Re: how do u sensitively tell sum1 YOU NEED SPACE

                                Just tell them in a polite way that you enjoy their company, but you also need alone time to reflect and ponder life :D Sometimes people don't realize they are being super clingy. Also, have a chat to see if anything is going on in her life to make her attached to you. Make special days for her to do activities, so she doesn't feel left behind when you do break away to have your free time. Don't be afraid to bring it up because this will build up overtime and you will eventually explode or lead to speaking ill about her to other people, sadness.

                                Some say the state of a persons room i.e. messy/chaotic is a reflection of their mind. Maybe she really needs you as a friend at the moment because she is having a debbie downer phase in her life.

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