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  • How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

    Asalmu Alaikum, in the name of Allah swt most High and Merciful

    Salam brothers and sisters of islam,

    I remember having this problem and I still do today, and that is when lust takes over and people commit sinful and selfish acts upon one's self, and lets just say it involves your hands..

    I remember that this happened to myself as well so i want to know the answer.

    what if a brother in islam, young man 17-18 starts praying but has been doing this sinful act every single day 4-5 times for the past 3-4 years...? Is it expected from Allah that we stop right AWAY? I know it took me many many many tries until i got it right... and i kept showering and kept praying anyways... then i got it to the point where i can control it..

    is this haraam?

    If the brother is new to prayer and worship and is trying to reduce the act until he stops, because i know this is what i did.
    La illaha ilallah

  • #2
    Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

    :wswrwb:

    How can someone pray and masturbate 4-5 times a day when every time you ejaculate you have to take a complete ghusl?

    Anyways, yes, he must stop right away, cold turkey, immediately, pronto!

    It's not that you can just masturbate. Obviously, you are in full control when you are doing it, so there' s no reason to not be able to stop.

    :insha: Tell the brother to keep himself busy with other things like hobbies and keep him in place where there are others around. Being alone is dangerous.
    Also, he needs to fear Allah as he is never alone, but Allah is be aware of everything he does.

    Tell him to make dua'a to ask help from Allah and also repent for what he has done. :insha: Allah will make it easy for him.

    May Allah forgive the brother and get rid of this from him.
    Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

    "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
    - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

      Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
      :wswrwb:

      How can someone pray and masturbate 4-5 times a day when every time you ejaculate you have to take a complete ghusl?

      Anyways, yes, he must stop right away, cold turkey, immediately, pronto!

      It's not that you can just masturbate. Obviously, you are in full control when you are doing it, so there' s no reason to not be able to stop.

      :insha: Tell the brother to keep himself busy with other things like hobbies and keep him in place where there are others around. Being alone is dangerous.
      Also, he needs to fear Allah as he is never alone, but Allah is be aware of everything he does.

      Tell him to make dua'a to ask help from Allah and also repent for what he has done. :insha: Allah will make it easy for him.

      May Allah forgive the brother and get rid of this from him.
      Thank you sister for the reply,

      Just like any addiction its near impossible to just STOP right away. Allah knows best, he knows truly what your intentions are, wether they are good or bad.

      The brother has accepted islam, and he is making an effort to stop. It takes many years in my opinion to fully comprehend islam and it means to be a muslim. Its easy to tell a man to JUST STOP right away, but sister once you have been in a young man's shoes in a american society filled with nudity, fornification, and adultery.. you will know how hard it is.

      I think for the brother to SIMPLY try and go towards Allah swt is enough that he will inshallah be forgiven.

      and you might have understood wrong, because the bother would do it 4-5 times a day and now hasnt done in 4-5 days, but he said he couldnt stand it and did again one time he said he showered and tried to finish his prayer.

      same thing happened to me, and it takes ALOT of self-control to not do it.
      La illaha ilallah

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

        Brother, trust me I know what's it like living in America and being around this shameless environment, as a man! ;)

        But, what's the guarantee that he will stop if he brings it down? And even if mastubates less, he will still be sinning, right?

        :insha: He should do his best to stop it. And Allah is the Most Merciful.

        One thing that stood out was your assumption where you said: "I think for the brother to SIMPLY try and go towards Allah swt is enough that he will inshallah be forgiven."

        Forgiveness comes from asking for forgiveness, brother. How can you expect Allah to forgive someone when that person is still sinning, but just sinning less?

        Tell him to read this:

        As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:
        1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment.
        2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s hadeeth.
        3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.
        4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings):
        "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31
        Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).
        5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshipping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.
        6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.
        7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.
        8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.
        9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability.
        10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).
        11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth:
        "Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.
        12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah.
        13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.
        Source

        May Allah help him.
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

          Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
          Brother, trust me I know what's it like living in America and being around this shameless environment, as a man! ;)

          But, what's the guarantee that he will stop if he brings it down? And even if mastubates less, he will still be sinning, right?

          :insha: He should do his best to stop it. And Allah is the Most Merciful.

          One thing that stood out was your assumption where you said: "I think for the brother to SIMPLY try and go towards Allah swt is enough that he will inshallah be forgiven."

          Forgiveness comes from asking for forgiveness, brother. How can you expect Allah to forgive someone when that person is still sinning, but just sinning less?

          Tell him to read this:



          Source

          May Allah help him.
          But how can you discard all of Science and Medical Issues also?

          a smoker cant SIMPLY just stop smoking, he goes through different stages sister because he is Addicted.

          An addiction is an addiction and takes alot of training and practice to stop.

          Otherwise we can just say 1 prayer and all of our addictions will vanish right away no?

          Its the same issue here. I still dont think you will understand until you have been in that persons shoes, its very different for men and women in my opinion.

          And sister... Allah is the most Merciful... How can you NOT expect allah swt to forgive that person? Allah once said that he will even Forgive Satan to this day if he bowed down to Adam pbuh's grave.. if Allah can forgive satan even to this day, why wouldnt forgive this muslim brother for trying to do the right thing?

          In my eyes if a christian coverts to islam its better than a THOUSAND prayers a muslim does.
          Last edited by blanchoir; 22-05-11, 07:29 AM.
          La illaha ilallah

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

            Originally posted by blanchoir View Post
            But how can you discard all of Science and Medical Issues also?

            a smoker cant SIMPLY just stop smoking, he goes through different stages sister because he is Addicted.

            An addiction is an addiction and takes alot of training and practice to stop.

            Otherwise we can just say 1 prayer and all of our addictions will vanish right away no?

            Its the same issue here. I still dont think you will understand until you have been in that persons shoes, its very different for men and women in my opinion.

            And sister... All if the most Merciful... How can you NOT expect allah swt to forgive that person?
            I'm a brother, brother. :)

            Not that I support smoking, but you can pretty much smoke anywhere. But, you can't masturbate unless you are by yourself. So, :insha: tell him to stay occupied iwth hobbies or other friends and relatives.

            By the way, did you read the quote I posted above?

            As for His forgiveness, Yes I know He will forgive him. But, you can't go commit sins having a thought in your mind that I'll ask for forgiveness later. Forgiveness means not committing that sin again. And what if he dies before repenting?
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

              Oh sorrys brother,

              I just saw your name in Pink for some reason I dont know why haha... sorry/..

              But brother, you also can't smoke anywhere you want, there are public areas where its not allowed which is kinda irrelevant but just wanted to point that out.

              Having regret shows you are a muslim and a follow of the prophet pbuh, becuase there are many who do commit such adultery with no regrets or even thoughts of asking for forgiveness. The brother here is constantly worried and thats why I believe allah will forgive him, and inshallah he will learn to control this filthy behaviour.

              and he is trying to stay occupied all the time and such, so he is striving which is very important in islam.

              Inshallah he will be forgiven
              La illaha ilallah

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

                :insha:

                Tell him to seek help in Dua'a.

                May Allah make it easy for him.
                Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

                  Aisha (ra) said that if the first verses to be revealed was to stop drinking alcohol and stop fornication the people would not have followed Islam. If the brother just accepted Islam and knows what he is doing is wrong and is trying to bring and end to it. Then insha'allah Allah will help him to better himself. Things like this don't come to be overnight it happens gradually for someone to come in such a situation, and same goes for the remedy it is a gradual process. Cold turkey doesn't work for 95% of the people, they usually fall back into their addiction sometimes worse than before. So it's best to keep trying and make dua
                  Collection of Arabic Learning material and Islamic Books



                  Away for a bit

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: How do i answer my fellow muslim brother...

                    Originally posted by Yunus aua View Post
                    Aisha (ra) said that if the first verses to be revealed was to stop drinking alcohol and stop fornication the people would not have followed Islam. If the brother just accepted Islam and knows what he is doing is wrong and is trying to bring and end to it. Then insha'allah Allah will help him to better himself. Things like this don't come to be overnight it happens gradually for someone to come in such a situation, and same goes for the remedy it is a gradual process. Cold turkey doesn't work for 95% of the people, they usually fall back into their addiction sometimes worse than before. So it's best to keep trying and make dua
                    Yes brother you just proved my point.

                    thank you
                    La illaha ilallah

                    Comment

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