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Where are the Good people?

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  • Where are the Good people?

    why are people so superficial, shallow, selfish, uncaring, not understanding, all smiles bubbly kisses etc but no real substance behind that. all cover, no content

    I'm finding it so hard to find just straight forward, understanding, loving, loyal, sincere, selfless people.

    It's like hitting the jackpot if you find someone like this. my sister tells me to just mingle with people regardless of what they're like but the moment i see these traits in people i get dissapointed and just keep myself to myself.

    i checked the masjid, but the masjid is full of ordinary people i.e. give you an example you go to the masjid and a group of girls see you scream jump on you kiss kiss hug hug (as part of normal routine) they ask how you are and as you answer they're fixing their clothes checking there make up

    If you have a good friend, that you really treasure, where did you meet them? jazakAllah :)

  • #2
    Re: Where are the Good people?

    If you want a change in the environment.It first starts from your inside.

    If the people are selfish then you start being altruist.There is no law as whether if someone is selfish you too become selfish.Become altruist and see.Some are uncaring, well why would you need any care of somebody when you are on yourself.Instead become such that you will care such people.If they are not understanding then you understand yourself as to how to make people understand.

    Remember, a good person is that one who sees good in everyone and forgets bad in the other person.Am I not bad person in your eyes now as I am saying against your argument.If I had said like oh yes you are very right and it is hard to find such person. Of course you will agree that I am a good person. :)

    :jkk:
    صلى الله على حبيبه محمد و على آله و أصحابه و سلم
    Al-Muslimeen

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    • #3
      Re: Where are the Good people?

      you have to looks harder, without examining you won't find em. Just gotta have some street smarts to analyze.
      "They are Shuhadaa (witnesses) to the fact that this Deen is greater than life, that values are more important than blood and that principles are more precious than souls" - Sheikh 'Abdullah Azzam

      Lost in Islamic History :inlove:

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      • #4
        Re: Where are the Good people?

        Originally posted by Madwife View Post
        why are people so superficial, shallow, selfish, uncaring, not understanding, all smiles bubbly kisses etc but no real substance behind that. all cover, no content

        I'm finding it so hard to find just straight forward, understanding, loving, loyal, sincere, selfless people.

        It's like hitting the jackpot if you find someone like this. my sister tells me to just mingle with people regardless of what they're like but the moment i see these traits in people i get dissapointed and just keep myself to myself.

        i checked the masjid, but the masjid is full of ordinary people i.e. give you an example you go to the masjid and a group of girls see you scream jump on you kiss kiss hug hug (as part of normal routine) they ask how you are and as you answer they're fixing their clothes checking there make up

        If you have a good friend, that you really treasure, where did you meet them? jazakAllah :)
        salaams to all

        you say that the girls come kiss u & ask how you are etc but they are checking their makeup while u answer.
        they may really love you but sitting still and listening patiently while you answer may not be their thing- it does not make them insincere.
        in my opinion, i find the fact that theyre wearing makeup more wrong than their behaviour.

        and irrespective of how people come across to us, we should not doubt their words/actions UNLESS there is clear proof to do so.
        (please dont apply this to whatever you hear on the news-like them killing Usama)

        like maybe u overheard the above mentioned girls say "i hate her, shes so...."
        and then they act all lovey dovey with you
        thats a genuine reason
        but why would you doubt their sincerity based on them checking their makeup while they talk?
        maybe youre over reacting a bit?
        possibly you are upset/depressed about something else n are just using these girls as an excuse?


        and Allah ta'ala knows best
        jazakallah
        Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
        very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

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        • #5
          Re: Where are the Good people?

          why don't you tell them 'ordinary people' their manners aren't from the sunnah- you're suppose to pay attention to the one talking to you, etc. - be patient and good to them, and they may respond back the way you want them to?

          or if people really are that egocentric at your end, go volunteer at your local charity/islamic/special needs center- many selfless people work there day and night
          sigpic

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          • #6
            Re: Where are the Good people?

            maybe you need to give them more time *shrugs*
            Al-Ghazali said, "If you see Allah, Mighty and Magnificent, holding back this world from you, frequently trying you with adversity and tribulation, know that you hold a great status with Him. Know that He is dealing with you as He does with His Awliya' and chosen elite, and is watching over you, have you not heard His saying, "So wait steadfastly for the judgment of your Lord - you are certainly before Our eyes.[At-Tur 52:48]

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            • #7
              Re: Where are the Good people?

              I guess, it's human nature to not be overly excited about people every time they see them. I wouldn't say people are shallow, superficial, etc. Some people are just like that. If you meet someone after few years, you're more likely to pay attention to them than someone you meet every week.
              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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              • #8
                Re: Where are the Good people?

                Originally posted by Madwife View Post
                why are people so superficial, shallow, selfish, uncaring, not understanding, all smiles bubbly kisses etc but no real substance behind that. all cover, no content

                I'm finding it so hard to find just straight forward, understanding, loving, loyal, sincere, selfless people.

                It's like hitting the jackpot if you find someone like this. my sister tells me to just mingle with people regardless of what they're like but the moment i see these traits in people i get dissapointed and just keep myself to myself.

                i checked the masjid, but the masjid is full of ordinary people i.e. give you an example you go to the masjid and a group of girls see you scream jump on you kiss kiss hug hug (as part of normal routine) they ask how you are and as you answer they're fixing their clothes checking there make up

                If you have a good friend, that you really treasure, where did you meet them? jazakAllah :)
                That's women for you.. *outta*
                Allah will ask on the Day of Judgment: “Where are those who loved each other for the sake of My glory? Today, on a day when there is no shade but Mine, I shall shade them with My shade.”(Muslim)

                "Zendagi Migzara..."

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                • #9
                  Re: Where are the Good people?

                  Originally posted by Madwife View Post

                  If you have a good friend, that you really treasure, where did you meet them? jazakAllah :)
                  :salams :)

                  How about turning the question around sis and asking yourself how you can be a really treasured friend to others? In the process you'll find yourself not only being, but also making, such friends inshaAllah.

                  In my personal experience the best of sisters I have ever come across have been those who first and foremost have loved their sisters in Islam purely for the sake of Allah. The sort of sisters who might be wearing niqaab themselves, but would not look down on befriending a sister who say, wasn't even wearing hijaab.

                  These sorts of friendships (when you love someone fillah) really reflect the hadith of RasoolAllah :saw: regarding the influence our friends have on us. When you befriend and spend time with sincere people like these they don't even need to preach deen to you because just their sincere example in front of your eyes automatically inspires you to want to become a better Muslim- and what better friends can a person have than these? And when they do give you naseeha regarding the deen, the fact that they first built the initial relationship on love for the sake of Allah means that not only are you willing to listen and take their advice, but you actually solicit it.

                  So if you're at a stage where you are a practising sister (mashaAllah) why not reciprocate the surface affection and then build on it with these sisters in the masjid? MashaAllah the fact that they can be found in the masjid in the first place is a good sign :up:. Perhaps you could run some circles for the sisters on topics relevant to Muslim women? InshaAllah not only would you be rewarded by Allah for helping your sisters become better in deen, but you would also see the fruits of your efforts in the friendships that would blossom as a result- subhanAllah there really are no relationships which are like those built on love for the sake of Allah!

                  May Allah grant you the company of beautiful sisters in this dunya and the next.
                  May He give you the tawfeeq to be of, and have, treasured sisters in Islam. Aameen.
                  ربنا واجعلنا مسلمين لك ومن ذريتنا أمة مسلمة لك وأرنا مناسكنا وتب علينا إنك أنت التواب الرحيم

                  Our Lord, make us Muslims submitted to You, and our descendants a Muslim community submitted to You. Show us our rites of worship and turn towards us. You are the Ever-Returning, the Most Merciful. [2: 128]

                  http://livingthemuslimlife.wordpress.com/

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                  • #10
                    Re: Where are the Good people?

                    .
                    Last edited by Grotbags; 18-11-15, 01:19 AM.
                    The Prophet SAW said, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim

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                    • #11
                      Re: Where are the Good people?

                      Originally posted by ahmed_abdullah View Post
                      If you want a change in the environment.It first starts from your inside.

                      If the people are selfish then you start being altruist.There is no law as whether if someone is selfish you too become selfish.Become altruist and see.Some are uncaring, well why would you need any care of somebody when you are on yourself.Instead become such that you will care such people.If they are not understanding then you understand yourself as to how to make people understand.

                      Remember, a good person is that one who sees good in everyone and forgets bad in the other person.Am I not bad person in your eyes now as I am saying against your argument.If I had said like oh yes you are very right and it is hard to find such person. Of course you will agree that I am a good person. :)

                      :jkk:
                      ^ Yes I agree with this.

                      I always try to see the good in everyone and do my best to look past peoples imperfections, we are all humans no one is perfect. There is good and bad in everyone of us so we must do our best to see the good in everyone. If we are nice and friendly with people then normally they will treat you with the same respect. This is how I see it but if someone treat me badly or are two-faced (backbiting) then it is their sin not mine so I’ll still try to be nice to them but it’s very hard for me sometimes because most people treat me nicely so I sometimes get too emotional when a "friend" is intentionally mean in a sneaky way. A good verse to remember when people put us down is: “And good and evil deeds are not alike. Repel evil with good. And he who is your enemy will become your dearest friend.” (41:33-34).

                      "If you are looking for a friend who is faultless, you will be friendless"

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