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Is it right to be close with guy friends?

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  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    ↑You don't have to feel bad about anything that you will be doing to please Allah
    After all, who's worth more pleasing than Him?

    :insha: You come to Islam soon.

    Leave a comment:


  • briteyyez
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    this is an area that is hard for me. i haven't reverted yet. ... i've been forbidden too and while i haven't given up my plans.... when i heard that... it made me slow down my plans and get more than a big frustrated ... that said i'm now also teaching myself arabic and not telling my family about that and i know i don't have to know arabic to revert, its something i want to do to know more and to feel more comfortable.

    All of that said... most of my friends are male friends. I don't mean dating. I mean friends. I grew up being one of the boys..... and i rarely make female friends easily.. its always been harder ... i don't entirely know why but it has been. that for me is frustrating. i have one muslimah friend online out in the midwest that i'm so thankful for .... but she's got a family and adopted a baby this year and is so busy.... and one over seas who stays too busy to write much...
    even at work ... i'm in a call center and the women around me... i don't fit in w/ them.. they have kids ( some of them) .... and they are a few years younger and are into clothes and purses and stuff and i'm not into any of it.... and i feel so alone to that.... and its frustrating...

    but i understand the seperation of the sexes too and for personal reasons understand why they are important.... i just hate the idea that when i revert i have to tell friends i've had for 20 years i'm sorry ... no matter what you meant to me for all those years, your support, your frienship etc... i no longer can be friends w/ you. Thats going to be hard, no matter how much i know it will have to be done.
    Serena

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  • Khalid b. Walid
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    Men and women can't really be friends.

    There's a reason why the prettiest girls in school/college attracted the most male 'friends'.

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  • Soliloquy
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    It always starts off with friendship (never mind being "close" friends, whatever that means).

    I'm just saying.

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  • Yara24
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
    ↑It's not fine if you talk without a necessary reason, if that's what you meant.
    yep thats what I mean you must have a reason to talk to him :)

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    ↑It's not fine if you talk without a necessary reason, if that's what you meant.

    Leave a comment:


  • Yara24
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    Hi sister, Why would you want to be there friend? I know lots of guys but I wouldnt even say they are my friends! Just men that I know of and talk to with respect as they respect me :)

    DONT GET CLOSE

    its haram for a reason and that is IT WILL END UP BEING MORE FOR ONE PERSON

    we are designed to be in LOVE. NOT JUST FRIENDS. its fine if you talk to one dont get me wrong but dont be alone with him etc its WRONG :)

    Leave a comment:


  • anistop
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    No. According to one hadith when a man and woman are alone together, who are not related to each other, the third is satan. Internet chatting and phone calls also give you the same privacy in terms of discussions. It may be that a girl doesn't click with most of her guy friends, but when she will, satan will make the best of this opportunity to intensify their feelings for each other.

    Leave a comment:


  • niqaabi_nusrat
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    Originally posted by Wishing Well View Post
    I don't think it is right to be close with guys. It's something I found a bit tough as I'm a revert. I haven't been a Muslim for very long so making sure I don't stray too much can be a difficult. But I am trying and my stepdad's strict on the issue.
    :salams

    Sister, this was something that all reverts have to overcome - may Allah subhana wa ta'alaa make it easy for you.

    I well remember struggling with this myself - but the reasoning behind the ban on free mixing is so strong and straightforward that it should not be too difficult, insha'allah. There is lots of good advice available on how to stay away from non-mahrams alhumdulillah. Basically, as Muslimahs we are commanded not to interact with men unless it is absolutely necesssary, i.e. only in the course of necessary business, in which case the gaze must be lowered and we must speak in a sharp, business-like manner (I found this quite difficult at first). We must be very strict with ourselves about avoiding any small talk or chit-chat - basically give one word answers (like "fine" or "yes") to any questions like "how are you" or "what lovely weather we're having" and do not reciprocate. Remember that Shaytan is the third one present and that Allah subhana wa ta'alaa sees all and the Shariah is very clear in all matters of gender interaction alhumdulillah. Any transgressions, even something as seemingly innocent as a second glance, will weigh heavily against us in the scales subhanallah. I have found it useful to set myself a punishment for each such sin, for example 12 extra rakats nafl salah or fix an amount of Sadaqah to give to the needy. Also try to envisage the punishment awaiting in the Hereafter for sinning in this way. Above all, thank and glorify Allah subhana wa ta'alaa for providing us with His perfect guidance and protection and resolve in your heart to obey Him in this and all matters.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    Originally posted by Wishing Well View Post
    I don't think it is right to be close with guys. It's something I found a bit tough as I'm a revert. I haven't been a Muslim for very long so making sure I don't stray too much can be a difficult. But I am trying and my stepdad's strict on the issue.
    :masha:

    May Allah make it easy for you and keep you on the Straight Path.

    Leave a comment:


  • CanM
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    No just stick to practicing sisters or yourself. And Allah(swt) is sufficient.

    Leave a comment:


  • Wishing Well
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    I don't think it is right to be close with guys. It's something I found a bit tough as I'm a revert. I haven't been a Muslim for very long so making sure I don't stray too much can be a difficult. But I am trying and my stepdad's strict on the issue.

    Leave a comment:


  • msmoorad
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    Originally posted by missm View Post
    Don't worry, it isn't me who has the issue right now. I just know other sisters who sometimes fool around with guys, and try to justify their 'friendship'. Yeah I know, sisters are way cooler <3
    salaams to all
    and if the boys are muslims, that does not make it a bit more permissible either.
    just advise these sisters that they should not be doing this & if the boys they "fool" around with are muslims as well, then try to somehow advise them as well that what they are doing it haraam- maybe via email or sms. or get someone to speak to them about it.
    it takes two to tango & if the sisters dont want to listen, insha allah the boys might realise that their fooling around is not allowed in islam and they will then keep away from these sisters.
    also make lots of duaahh for them.

    and Allah ta'alaknows best
    jazakallah

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    Originally posted by SimplyMuslim View Post
    Salaam,

    does this also apply to the internet?
    Yes, very much.

    Leave a comment:


  • faithheals
    replied
    Re: Is it right to be close with guy friends?

    "be close with guy" in Islam - No way hosay! I know this isn't easy because in my life I've also had some guys trying to get close to me but I've always tried harder to get away from them and I have 100% success rate..I could write a book on how to put men off. I've watched some of my friends with my own eyes how they went from being good friends with a boy to best friends then to boyfriend-girlfriends...:S but I only had the courage to warn one of these friends that what they are doing is wrong and thank Allah she listened to me so stopped. I haven't said anything to anyone else because they know it is haram that's why they are keeping it a secret and they will not appreciate me advising them on their personal business - they will definitely think I'm being rude and probably won't talk to me ever again.

    I don't mean to be rude or hurt anyone here but what I'm saying to the sisters is don't build a close friendship with any guy (real life and defo NOT over internet (safety ALARMS)) even if they seem very nice and friendly or whatever. IMO there is nothing wrong with talking about Islam, deen or study/work related things with men but keep it strictly business - don't smile a lot or joke much, look serious even if they are trying hard to make you become more friendly with them - never let your guard down...they will get the message sooner or later that it's never ever going to happen and they will most likely to move on...trying to get closer to some other poor girl...:S

    Leave a comment:

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