Male sexual health advice

[ibnuadam]

Re: Male sexual health advice

You could look for a divorced woman who already has children?

sex is one reason to get married
you are suggesting him to commit zhulm on the woman?
if he cannot perform, she has a valid excuse for khulu'

[Yara24]

Re: Male sexual health advice

You can do it. Just go up to your dad and tell him he will understand. :) Inshallah you will be alright and be with a fantastic woman! :D

[Zesty]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Brother, you predicament is understandable and ofcourse it is all about patience. You are undergoing treatment and like i said, with the power of Allah everything is possible. There are people who get married and then realise they have such issues afterwards- in their situation ofcourse alot of couples make sabr and make the best of the situation. In this regard i do feel for you cos your situation isnt really different to anyone who is already married but facing this problems- except that like you said, if you publicise it then it may get around (and people are so callous in their gossip these days)!

I think the best thing for you at the moment would be to 1. focus on the medical help/treatment you are receiving
2. speak to your parents and parents alone at this stage. If you open up to them maybe they will keep it concealed and a secret from everyone else and also lay off you about marriage for the time being which hopefully will also help your recovery (i highly doubt the added stress of this whole marriage debacle helps very much)! In this way, you will be able to get the support inshaAllah of your parents and also the understanding from them that you wish to just get through the treatment first and then focus on marriage? Do you think thats a possibility?

[qstions]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Thanks for the replies.

I'll consider the options that have come out of this.
I'm currently under treatment for the condition so I'm aware of the options available medically. It's just that it's something that requires a lot of patience, I'm aware of all the treatments available, and that some routes may not even be viable for me. I've spoken to enough doctors to fully understand this.

The conditions of the arranged marriage, at least in my case, are that there is a brief formal meeting followed by further formal meetings if there is interest.
I don't know how in situations like this I can speak to the person about something like this (although obviously I understand, if I plan on marrying them I would need to trust them).
I'm concerned if I do open up to them, the news could travel, I know it's not in all cases but how can I judge this quality in a person so quickly? I'm concerned of gossip and shame on my family.
Gossip isn't uncommon in my culture/community...

[Zesty]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Personally i think you should be honest brother- with your parents and ofcourse any future potentials. At the end of the day it is all in Allah's hands and you should ofcourse take all other means of helping your condition (i.e. like some brothers have suggested- maybe eat foods which have certain benefits, maybe herbal stuff if youre not into medications etc- and ofcourse plenty of duaa).
The reason i say to be honest with parents is because- often in many cultures when a couple dont have children for a while, the "blame" is usually attributed without a second thought to the wife/woman. "Oh she obviously cant have children." This is unfair in my opinion on any sister who may not have such issues at all. Ofcourse like i said- ultimately everything is in Allah's control. Dont give up on marriage iA, just be open and honest.

[Abuzubeir]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Tell your parents, they'll stop pressuring you into that arranged marriage

[Pinkpink]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Men who are impotent can take drugs and injections you should look into this. They are very effective inshAllah.

I think it is important to let your potential partner know.

[anistop]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Alhamdulilah, assslatu wasalamu ala rasullillah

Brother, wa alaikum salam wa rahamtullah.

It is good to see that you have integrity with yourself. You should not hesitate to inform your parents about it because small pain of revealing the news to them can save bigger troubles. If you are shy, you can tell them through a friend or relative.

However, you can still get married by keeping your future partner aware of your problem. If by impotence you mean 'erectile dysfunction', it has solution these days through tablets like Viagra and many others. If by impotence you mean 'infertility' it has treatment too. And, even if it doesn't have a treatment, you might find a widow or divorced woman who already has children.

[imran1976]

Re: Male sexual health advice

i have seen marriages ending the very next day, there's nothing to hide, be open & clear.

[IbnulQayyim]

Re: Male sexual health advice

I guess it varies according to families.

[loonietoonie]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Then he can tell it but I wouldn't tell my parents before than. it's not something they need to know. he's 27, he can find a spouse himself.

yeah but parents sometimes want to be part of the process too, but that's between him and his parents.

[IbnulQayyim]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Then he can tell it but I wouldn't tell my parents before than. it's not something they need to know. he's 27, he can find a spouse himself.

[.mirror.]

Re: Male sexual health advice

What would he say when the parents ask why are you not having kids?

[IbnulQayyim]

Re: Male sexual health advice

Salaam,

I'm looking for some advice.

I'm a 27 year old male who has been diagnosed with impotence due to side effects of medication taken during an illness.
My family are unaware of my predicament and are pressuring me into the idea of getting married through an arrangement.

I am unsure of how I can can explain the situation to my parents, and I don't really know what to do.

I am worried for my future and the future of my potential partner if I follow through this path. And I can't even imagine explaining this to them.

Please can you help.

Thank you.

The following is my opinion and I am not enforcing it upon anyone.

I do not think your parents need to know about your sexual health. Your future wife must know though.

You can take the means to cure impotence or minimize it so this way you can fulfill the sexual right of your wife.

If a person is not ok with her husband being impotent then fine, move on, find someone else, no problem. Sex is not the end of life. It's an important thing but not the most important thing at the end of the day.

[uncle umar]

Re: Male sexual health advice

wa alikumu salam

tell your parrents. nothing bad can happen.

however impotency can be fought against by doing things that gnerate testosterone. eat foods with high zinc content, and pure unpasturized honey. workout alot using power moves that work core group muscles like squates or bench press. it may be the difference between having oyur tadpoles back or not.

just sayin.